Waiter tip tricks: shouldn't you be aware?

[dumplin]

I think part of the problem is that most of us have eating at both ends of the gamet. I get used to the stellar serving from high end restaurants, so when I go to my local Outback and have some server get right in my face, its quite a shock. Some of them figure out that "trick" isn't going to make us spend more money or be happy, so they quit. I've had other servers actually try to crawl in the booth with me.

DH and I used to go to Roadhouse, a chain steak place. They had a really great thick sirloin, and the meal was cheap if you went early. Since we didn't have much money, it was a great way to get a good steak without spending a lot. One evening, we were sitting in a booth and got assaulted by some server girl who was maybe 12. She kept stroking DH's arm. He would turn red and try to move. She kept doing it, even though he was all the way in the corner of his seat trying to get away. Since she was so young and obviously a new server, we didn't want to embarrass her. I was getting to the point of wanting to tie her into a knot. I asked DH if he remembered her, and he said "Yes, I thought she was going to ask me to marry her." We tipped her, but she didn't get as much as she would have if she had been paying attention to what we wanted...or in this case didn't want.

For the record, I am always pleasant and don't chastize servers for "tip tricks" or upselling. I think upselling is a neccessary evil of doing business. I don't always choose the upsell du jour, but that's normally because I can't eat that much food.

[cakewench]

However, I can certainly remember times when people asking whether everything was alright really didn't mean that as a sincere question. You can feel when that happens. Hasn't it ever happened to you when you were a customer?

I suppose I can think of a few times. I can't always wear a button that reads, "I'm a server, too" on my clothing, or have it tattoed on my forehead, so sometimes a jaded server can mistake me for an idiot who knows nothing about eating in restaurants. You know the person I'm talking about. The one who thinks that a steak ordered "medium" will be cooked all the way through with no pink showing?

So sometimes, the thing that's wrong is that I'd asked for one side and got another, but when the server asks if everything is OK, and I mention my one little thing, they give me that eye-roll. Yeah, it happens.

Yes, but I suppose one shouldn't *have* to wear a button saying they are a server, too, in order to not get a disinterested fly-by check back question.

If the person is a good server, they won't withold said service for just the tables they feel deserve it, or appreciate it. It means waiting on every table equally, even if they are (inserting some typical tables bitched about by servers) a table full of small children, or two women splitting a salad with some waters with lemon.

Yes, I waited tables for over 5 years. I'm not attacking just giving my opinion.

[TheFoodTutor]

Certainly, everyone should receive the same high quality service, and they pretty much all do if I'm waiting on them. It is nice, however, to be able to distinguish the people who will recoil in horror when you place their seared Ahi before them, saying, "Eeewww! I didn't know it was going to be RAW!" If I can pick these people out before that happens, I have an opportunity to hint to them that seared means that it's only touched the pan very lightly, and so will be very rare.

And I really don't want to be touched by servers when I go out, so I don't touch customers either. I think it's creepy, and I'd only give someone a light hand on the shoulder if they were someone with whom I was slightly familiar. Actually, I find several of the tricks on that list to be somewhat repulsive. Smiley faces? Gah.

[NulloModo]

Other than upselling (without knowing the price of the item they are upselling too) none of those really bug me.

I love servers who check back. I would much rather have them come by the table several times too often than several times too few. Nothing is worse than not having any beverage left to go with your meal, and desperately waiting for a refill, or sitting watching your food get cold while you try to get someone'e attention to bring some condiment you forgot to ask for or which the kitchen didn't toss on the plate.

Per the touching/kneeling/sitting to take orders, I really don't mind it, and flirty female servers definately get my attention in a positive way. I know it is all just to increase tips and all, but it makes you feel welcome and all, at least me, but I guess I apparently shy away from contact less than a lot of people here.... Heck, I don't even mind the habit of all of the male waiters at the French Quarter (my favorite dinerish place in West Hollywood) who tend to have hands than linger on ones back while they take your order, it might be bizarre, but you feel welcome there.

As long as we are talking about equally attendant service here, I would much rather a smiling, friendly, jovial, slightly chatty server to one who is completely businesslike. Dining out is pleasure, not business, for the diner, so why should it have to feel stuffy and formalized?

[Susan G]

Still, I notice that a lot of people on this board seem especially cynical when talking about how they perceive servers and other restaurant staff. We're not all out to get you, you know, and a lot of us really care about doing our jobs correctly.

I want to make it clear that my snarkiness about poor service comes *because* I used to be a waitress for many years.

Behaviors and attitudes I wouldn't have dreamed of showing in the workplace, I now encounter on a regular basis when I dine out. It's so discouraging. I despise feeling trapped in a restaurant. It makes the positive experiences pale into oblivion.

But a good server can make poor food worth the experience!

[beans]

Still, I notice that a lot of people on this board seem especially cynical when talking about how they perceive servers and other restaurant staff. We're not all out to get you, you know, and a lot of us really care about doing our jobs correctly.

I want to make it clear that my snarkiness about poor service comes *because* I used to be a waitress for many years.

Behaviors and attitudes I wouldn't have dreamed of showing in the workplace, I now encounter on a regular basis when I dine out. It's so discouraging. I despise feeling trapped in a restaurant. It makes the positive experiences pale into oblivion.

But a good server can make poor food worth the experience!

I'm with theFoodTutor.

And a good server cannot ever make poor food worth the experience. They did their job, the kitchen didn't.

That is not a good thing.