Alcohol Abominations

[Sazerac]

I literally almost hurled just reading about TAB and BOURBON!!  EWWWW!!!

I can go one better -- when I was in college at Loyola New Orleans the teacher for whom I worked would send me to the student pub to fetch him a 32 oz. fountain Tab. When I brought it back he'd pour 1/3 of it out the window, then refill the cup with K&B Scotch from a 1.75 liter bottle he'd keep in his desk.

K&B was the local drugstore chain whose motif was purple (in signage, employee clothing, even ink color) -- this stuff was basically plain-wrap Scotch. There'd be one or two of these every day.

Blurgh.

[balmagowry]

I've always been able to buy Everclear at my local ABC store.  But maybe some cities don't allow its sale....but I've never heard that though.

Not only cities but states. You can't buy it anywhere in NY - far as I know the only states in the northeast where you can get it are CT and NH. It's also quite pricey, so from here on out I shall probably be using something else for bitters.

Tuna Colada... can't you just see Hermione Gingold doing the Goya commercial for it...?

[alphaiii]

From my freshman year of college:

Kool-Aid shots - cheap vodka (usually White Tavern) with kool-aid mix (usually grape or lime) dumped in. Extremely sour and burned terribly.

A nameless shot a drunken floormate poured me - cheap vodka, Seagram's 7, and Goldschlager

[viva]

eww, that reminds me of a nasty college episode, where, at the end of a mighty long day of drinking, poor drink planning left us with a bottle of gin and a six pack of grape soda. We drank it, of course.

Grape flavors and alcohol in general should just be banned.

[john@thebar]

"Grape flavors and alcohol in general should just be banned."

You might want to reconsider your proposed ban, Viva, or else a lot of folks who make their living in the wine and brandy industries will be SOL.

[viva]

Tee! I'll amend the rule to "faux-Grape" of the kool-aid, soda, lollipop, and cough syrup varieties.

[foodpsycho]

Just two words:

Chocolate Martini

[Fred Jauss]

From my freshman year of college:

...

A nameless shot a drunken floormate poured me - cheap vodka, Seagram's 7, and Goldschlager

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Reminds me of a friend in college who had his own version of this type of drink. It was (almost) never the same from party to party and consisted of one shot glass of every hard liquor available at the party dumped into a plastic tumbler and stirred. Mixers were only added if the number of types of alcohol were few and the volume of the beverage needed to be increased.

At a typical party, there would be cheap vodka, cheap whiskey, cheap rum, usually a few various bottles of schnapps (peach, cinnamon, peppermint), midori, cheap kahlua, tequila, Southern Comfort . . . The possibilities were endless (and in retrospect, pretty foul).

[NulloModo]

My claim to fame for this thread:

Resurrection Punch

1 can of Diet Sprite

couple ice cubes

couple shots of gin

couple shots of vermouth

Grenadine

Dash of tabasco (for heat)

whipped cream

Mix everything except for the whipped cream in a blender till it gets sorta slushy, top with whipped cream, and serve.

This was the product of a party taking place the night before Easter (hence the name, and the fact that you feel like you have just risen from the dead the next morning after slamming a number of these).

The drink was designed based on extreme inebriation at that point, and the fact that that was all that was to be had in the fridge.

[TJHarris]

Anything made from malt that is not Beer or whisky!

Zima, coolers, Skyy Blue, Hard Lemonade.... you get the picture.

Booze for people who don't like booze.

[beans]

Anything made from malt that is not Beer or whisky!

Zima, coolers, Skyy Blue, Hard Lemonade.... you get the picture. 

Booze for people who don't like booze.

Ah, don't be so hard on those products. I can safely say that I like booze and have been known to enjoy a Skyy Blue with ice from time to time sitting poolside when I didn't quite feel like a Margarita or having a beer (when I lived and worked at Put in Bay).

My last trip to Canada out of curiosity I purchased a little 4 pack of Absolut Cut. I don't recommend it, but glad I tried it. But there it isn't malt liquor. There really is vodka in the Mikes Hard Lemonade, etc.

Although I've never been a fan of coolers, or Zima.

[Ida]

Reminds me of another lifetime. I went with friends to a party. After I had already had enough to drink (and smoke) a girl was wining about the punch being gone. I finally had enough of her wining and grabbed every spirit I could find and dumped it into a huge bowl and added some 7up. It needed something so I added beer. It made it kind of creamy. I never liked punch so I didn't drink any, just walked away. Everyone loved it and I kept hearing people ask "Who made the punch? I gotta know how to make that stuff." Just goes to show that teens will drink ANYTHING.

[tejon]

Peppermint Schnapps and Mountain Berry KoolAid. Even more horrible revisited. Trust me.

[varcombd]

In college we used to play this drinking game called "kings". Each person would draw a card from a pile, in turn, and perform an action according to the card (give 2 drinks, take 2, men drink, women drink, waterfall, etc.). Whenever a king came up, each person at the table would pour a bit of their drink into a large jug. The person who pulled the fourth king got to drink the whole thing. Imagine playing at a table of 7, including people drinking hard cider, Olde English 800, dark NW porter, and various mixed drinks. Makes for a very memorable night.

[Stone]

Did somebody mention the appletini? If not, the appletini.

[bacchant036]

we started this nasty game called enematography at work,

get a shot glass for everyone who plays and make identical drinks in each, as bad as possible.

game ends when someone cries enough.

worst thing we came up with was

olive brine

laphroaig

campari

cachaca

and if you have the patience maybe a dash of lime juice and baileys

tobasco sounds like an obvious choice but it actually tends to make things taste better

[Sazerac]

(Still catching up on old posts ...)

25 minutes later, and we're still laughing hysterically over "Tuna Colada" ...

Chuck

Edited December 24, 2004 by Sazerac (log)

[Jaymes]

PurpleWhiz: I'm guessing everyone would probably rather forget that party

I imagine most people did. Sadly, I remembered every last thing.

Broccoli . Daiquiri . What  how; blender? What else ? Although I know I shall regret this, I have to hear how this was made.

Just like you'd make a strawberry daiquiri, except substitute broccoli for strawberries. Blender, sugar (we weren't refined enough to have simply syrup), rum, ice, give it a whirl, end up with something truly bilious.

Everyone "of a certain age" has similar stories to this.

In those days, the latest in stylish entertaining was the "Daiquiri Party." The deal was that the host/hostess would arrange to have at least three or four blenders at the ready. And then each guest would bring cans of frozen limeade and a fifth or so of rum and whatever fruit one preferred. Folks would show up with strawberries, pineapple, mangoes, cans of fruit cocktail....whatever.

And then you'd whip up your Daiquiris....banana daiquiris, peach daiquiris...and on and on into the night, sampling and tasting and trying and getting drunk on your ass.

Inevitably, the time would come when you'd run out of fruit. By then, the game had taken on a sort of high hysteria, and you'd start digging through the fridge, freezer, pantry....trying to find something else, anything else, to put in.

Not only have I also had Broccoli Daiquiris, I've had Potato Daiquiris, and the truly most vile of all...Brussels Sprout Daiquiris.

Ah....memories.

Edited December 24, 2004 by Jaymes (log)

[CtznCane]

I can't believe I actually use to drink this on occasion in my youth but... I did. Red wine and kahlua. It really wasn't bad either. Sort of turned things to a coffee flavored port of sorts.

[glossyp]

Yukon Jack and Dr. Pepper with a lime twist...ah, the bliss of youth!

[NulloModo]

Yukon Jack and Dr. Pepper with a lime twist...ah, the bliss of youth!

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Yukon Jack is vile, vile, stuff. My ex roomate and his drinking buddies (The "Army Demolitions Drinking Team") have this shot/shooter called a Snakebite which includes, if I remember right, Yukon Jack, Lemon Juice, and Captain Morgans...

[phaelon56]

Didn't taste it myself but the most disgusting concoction I recall was ordered by one of my bar customers when I informed her that we didn't serve White Russians (it was a concession bar at a theater - we had a limited well and no milk). Her idea of the next best thing was Jack Daniels & cranberry juice

[EllenH]

worst thing we came up with was

olive brine

laphroaig

campari

cachaca

and if you have the patience maybe a dash of lime juice and baileys

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wow, you used a good single malt in that concoction??

And back to the Dr. Pepper theme, I remember one drink at my fave college bar -- a hefty mug of beer (the cheaper the better) with a shot, I think of bourbon, lit on fire & dropped in. Object was to down the entire mug at one gulp. Called a Flaming Dr. Pepper, somebody apparently thought that's what it tastes like? Tried it once, decided I prefered my beer and bourbon to mix in my stomach, not out of it

[mzungu]

"Gotch," grape soda and scotch. My brother invented this drink when we were in high school and just didn't know any better.

So, by the same logic, would cranberry juice and scotch be "crotch"?

The possibilities are endless.....Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum, scotch and cranberry: "funky crotch".

Maybe add a little Stilton for "cheesy, funky crotch"....

(full disclosure: I must properly attribute the above to the brilliant wit of slkinsey)

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How about this? "Fuzzy Crotch" : Peach Schnapps, Scotch, Cranberry juice....

ah.... a new low....

[Dani Mc]

I once gave a truely vile bar customer the 'bar mat' shot (empty spillage from rubber bar mat into shotglass). I almost feel bad, but then I remember the hell he used to put all the waitresses through. He was already so far gone, he didn't even taste it, but it did give me a certain smug satisfaction.