Things Customers Have Said Which Made You Want to Roll Your Eyes

[GunkMag]

Hi everyone! So thrilled to become a part of what seems to be such an exciting community! 

 

My name is Adam, and I'm a London-based part-time baker while concurrently finishing a degree in journalism. 

 

As a part of my degree, I'm working on Gunk, a food magazine with no recipes and I wonder if you'd be willing to help me by sharing your experience. 

Inspired by my own experience of the past year working in hospitality industry, what Gunk does is simply admitting that cooking is not an island of happiness, as many portray it to be, but rather a long and messy business. It's about the grub, the grit, and the gross behind the scenes, yet without the attempt to turn oneself into a martyr. 

Because, don't get me wrong, I love what I do, and I can't see myself doing anything else, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who happens to have days when I feel fed up with everything; and especially with customers who sometimes seem to be taking the piss. 

Days when they ask you to cut a piece of quiche into three equal parts, days when they want to know if the oil drizzled on top of an avocado toast is cold pressed organic or days when you're asked if a cheddar and green onion toastie can be made without green onion. 

And I wonder if any of you have experienced such moments which you'd be willing to share with me. It can be anything, really - from an overheard conversation of customers which made you want to roll your eyes to the most piss-taking requests on orders. It'll be completely anonymous so, please, feel free to let loose. 

To break the ice, I'll go first. A pretty quiet summer day a couple of months ago around lunchtime. Me, in my Nisbet chef trousers, having a ten-minute lunch break, quickly chucking in whatever was left over from the day before to go back in and get on with my prep list overhearing a conversation of two women sat next to me, head-to-toe clad in Burberry, while enjoying their £7.50 avocado on toast. “I genuinely don’t understand how my colleagues can eat that kind of food for lunch. Why would anyone ever buy a Tesco meal deal? I need good food in my life,” one of them said only for the other one to concur by going off on a tangent about how she loves Maldon salt so much that she can’t imagine her life without it.

I'm excited to hear your stories and keep this conversation going! 

[Margaret Pilgrim]

Okay, I'll bite.    We were seated for dinner at a favorite tiny restaurant in Paris.    Young cadre, working their hearts out.    Two older women were seated next to us, one quite pleasant, the other a real doozy.    The doozy croons to the waiter, "I'm a vegetarian.   I just know that your wonderful chef will whip up something amazing for me!"     Their first course arrives and the jerk forks through hers, glancing across the table at her companion's plate, finally announcing, "Why, mine is exactly like yours but without the meat!"    I had to resist a triumphant fist pump!  

 

[liuzhou]

2 minutes ago, Margaret Pilgrim said:

Okay, I'll bite.    We were seated for dinner at a favorite tiny restaurant in Paris.    Young cadre, working their hearts out.    Two older women were seated next to us, one quite pleasant, the other a real doozy.    The doozy croons to the waiter, "I'm a vegetarian.   I just know that your wonderful chef will whip up something amazing for me!"     Their first course arrives and the jerk forks through hers, glancing across the table at her companion's plate, finally announcing, "Why, mine is exactly like yours but without the meat!"    I had to resist a triumphant fist pump!  

 

 

Please tell me it was steak tartare!

 

 

[chromedome]

At the restaurant where I worked my way through school, we served a "seafood medley" of sorts (it had a better name on the menu, but it's been 20 years and I don't remember it).

This dish consisted of a lobster tail removed from the shell, which was then stuffed with lemon-scented arborio rice. The stuffed shell was topped with shrimp and scallops, the tail was cut into medallions and arranged around the shell, and it was served with a creamy sauce based on shrimp broth. All of this, to be clear, was explicitly spelled out on the menu.

We had a customer one night explain that she loved seafood but had a shellfish allergy, and was it possible to get the seafood medley without shellfish? "Why of course," we grumbled in the kitchen. "Here's your $35 scoop of rice." (The server explained that no, that wasn't a possibility with this dish, and she eventually ordered something else.)

[RWood]

Well, don't know if this applies, but it's one that makes everyone laugh.

I worked at a high end restaurant and we had an entree that was tenderloin medallions with gnocchi and truffles.  So, we had a customer say "well, it was delicious, but I didn't taste the chocolate." 😵‍💫