Last week, the writer Eric Kim wrote a little ditty about the tomato sandwich, a classic, seasonal sandwich for many, many years.
And like many writers of Kim's generation, the gist of Eric's piece is that they've made a classic better - by fucking with it. (They didn't).
To whit:
QuoteThe hallmark of a good tomato sandwich, for me, is mayonnaise that slathers and pools against the tomato. If you’re from the South, “you either grew up in a Duke’s household or a Hellmann’s household,” Mary says. To my mind, the whole Duke’s-versus-Hellmann’s debate couldn’t be more boring or irrelevant (though I enjoy riling people up every year). I use mild-tasting Hellmann’s in this particular case, because I like to sprinkle a little furikake over the mayonnaise before sandwiching the tomatoes. The seaweed in the flavorful rice seasoning amps up the tomato’s savoriness, intensifying the harmony of fruit, carb and condiment. Flavor-forward Duke’s or even Kewpie, delicious though they are, would overpower everything in my perfect tomato sandwich.
Sure you do, Eric. But then it's not a classic tomato sandwich, is it? I mean, I want to taste the tomato and the mayo in a classic tomato sandwich, not spend time thinking about seaweed.
Just stop with this shit, please.
