Foodies paired with picky eaters

[malarkey]

I'm hijacking this thread and starting a new one, since it was suggested.

How many of you are with picky eaters? How many of you have reformed picky eaters? ;-)

I was with a picky eater for 4 years. I realized in that time that this is something I really can't deal with- of course, there were other things wrong that caused the ultimate demise of the relationship, but I've realized as I've gotten older and crankier that I could not be with a picky eater for long. It would try my patience to no end. My enjoyment of food is so intregal to my enjoyment of life that if someone doesn't share that passion I feel like I'm not living life to the fullest. I had to forgo my favorite chinese restaurant for those 4 years. Early on in the relationship I drug him there probably three times before he had the guts to tell me he didn't like it. Then of course all the other food prejedices starting coming out, and the list was long :-/

cold steak- it HAD to be reheated. I never understood this one, even though the current SO is a bit weird about this one too.

sauerkraut - threw tantrums if sauerkraut was mentioned.

didn't like seafood - This one was huge for me. I eat more seafood than red meat or chicken. After he left I didn't eat chicken for a whole year.

refused to eat any dish that had been "double-dipped" into - Also, tasting food as it cooked grossed him out immensely.

Let's hear your stories... ;-)

[britcook]

Never mind with picky eaters, I AM a picky eater, don't care much for seafood particularly shellfish, think pasta is dull and only fit as a transport medium for occasionally interesting sauces, don't like "soured" cheeses like ricotta and mascarpone, the list goes on. But what I do like I adore, so it may be restricted but I have a passion for it. And if I'm presented with a tasting/gourmand/set menu I'll usually try everything except raw-type shellfish like winkles, cockles or oysters.

But the cold steak thing is weird. I'd eat it but I still think it's odd.

[Bux]

I don't know if my wife and I have agreed on more than one other thing in addition to food and raising our daughter. Admittely, there was some early cross education in the food department. It took me a few years to really appreciate the really unctuous things like tripe and my appreciation for pigs feet and that sort of thing is more intellectual than gustatory today. On the other hand, she's content to let me hog all the andouillette. We will argue about whether to take a taxi to the restaurant or walk. The issue is not so much whether I could have lived so long with someone who didn't love food as would I have developed my own appreciation of food had I loved someone else.

Interestingly enough, we have a good relationship with our daughter and it often revolves around food as well. She married a chef. This morning we ran into the two of them in the Washington Square greenmarket and then met three other chefs we all know and like. For me that's a full and rewarding morning, although I also like the greenmarket on Wednesdays, when it's not so crowded and I can stop and kibbitz with Toby at her stand.

My wife and I are not so kind to picky eaters, although quite attentive to guest's allergies. Mention that you didn't like spinach and when we used to entertain a lot, the likelihood was that you'd be served spinach the next time you were a guest. It wasn't really a matter of being perverse, it was the belief that most of the people had never had the item in question prepared well.

[John Whiting]

The determining factor is not whether two people's food preferences are compatible, but whether they are prepared to tolerate each other's eccentricities. I like spicy food and my wife hates it, but when I want it at home I cook it; or, when I'm cooking for both, I spice mine separately. Fortunately there's nothing I *don't* like if it's prepared properly. And we both like all sorts of cuisines, but at a restaurant we may well order quite different dishes.

The biggest factor in getting along is *wanting* to do so.

[Suvir Saran]

The determining factor is not whether two people's food preferences are compatible, but whether they are prepared to tolerate each other's eccentricities. I like spicy food and my wife hates it, but when I want it at home I cook it; or, when I'm cooking for both, I spice mine separately. Fortunately there's nothing I *don't* like if it's prepared properly. And we both like all sorts of cuisines, but at a restaurant we may well order quite different dishes.

The biggest factor in getting along is *wanting* to do so.

Words of a wise man!

[John Whiting]

Words of a wise man!

It takes one to know one!

[Suvir Saran]

Words of a wise man!

It takes one to know one!

[bigbear]

Words of a wise man!

It takes one to know one!

Does it make me any wiser if I recognize two?

[gknl]

My wife and I are not so kind to picky eaters, although quite attentive to guest's allergies. Mention that you didn't like spinach and when we used to entertain a lot, the likelihood was that you'd be served spinach the next time you were a guest. It wasn't really a matter of being perverse, it was the belief that most of the people had never had the item in question prepared well.

That's great!

I remember planning a barbeque once when a friend of mine's girlfriend (whom I didn't like that much anyway) told me I had to get "turkey dogs" because she didn't eat "red meat." (we were getting bratwursts and bockwursts). I told her she'd better eat at home before she came then.

[gknl]

How many of you are with picky eaters? How many of you have reformed picky eaters? ;-)

I would say the reformation is a work in progress in my case. We have opposite tastes in almost everything, food, music, movies, you name it. But she did get a Scorpions song right on the radio the other day, so hope springs eternal.

She's not as bad as your horror story, but there are times when I feel like asking her "why can't you just eat it?" Not including onions is the hardest part, though it's not as though she throws things with onions in them against the wall. I do miss vegetables, though I sometimes cook them for myself and just let her eat salad. She doesn't have much interest in cooking either, I'm afraid, which makes it both easier and more difficult in different ways. Thankfully, garlic is not a problem.

She has horrible taste in restaurants too-- hehehe as long as anyone can be said to have bad taste -- she's the Queen of Chains. Miss Middle American Consumer incarnate. I can't blame her too much though, having visited her home town in Alabama twice a year for the past few years, there's not much else to choose from out there. Especially compared to the SF Bay Area where we live now. I just don't get the appeal of salad bars. . . . And she doesn't get-- YET-- Chinese food in any of its variations. She likes Indian, Japanese, and Mexican though, so it's not all Sizzler and Applebee's. At least they're relatively cheap. . . .

What's funny is that she thinks I'm the food snob when what I'll eat is far broader than what she'll eat.

I wouldn't trade her for anyone else though. Whatever differences we have really are minor in the grand scheme of things. John Whiting has it exactly right: the most important thing to getting along is wanting to. If both of you want to get along, you'll find a way to make it work.

[John Whiting]

bigbear writes:

Does it make me any wiser if I recognize two?

Yes, providing they're genuine. But are they???

[StephenT]

My wife is quite (very) picky. She doesn't like tomatoes and won't eat anything that's a "stew" but she'll eat a lot of things that are very much like a stew or in fact actually are a stew but are called something else. I think it's because when she was growing up, "stew" always contained tomatoes. To her credit, every now and then she does try to eat a tomato to see if she's changed her mind about them but she never has.

She likes Indian, Thai, Chinese and various similar sorts of food but if we go to a French, Italian or "modern" anything restaurant, chances are she'll order steak because nothing else on the menu appeals to her. And if I say we're going to a restaurant, she says "is this one of those places where you pay a lot of money and get very small portions?". It does irritate me, but I cope. My plan is to try making those sorts of dishes at home so she'll HAVE to eat them and then when she goes to a restaurant she won't think they're odd and she'll order them.

[bigbear]

Yes, providing they're genuine. But are they???

Don't know. I'm not that wise.

[foodie52]

"Picky eater" can also be differently defined....I wasn't a picky eater until I got into the food business and had the vast array of choices that I didn't have before. Now, if I order something or buy something that doesn't live up to my expectations, I consider it as "empty calories" and set it aside ( or give it to someone else!!). Life's too short to eat bad food....or boring food...or badly prepared food....

So......I'm a picky eater. I'll try anything and when we go out to eat, I'll opt for the choice that sounds different or intriguing. But if it turns out to be badly prepared, well then ,back it goes.

[John Whiting]

foodie52, I wish I had your ability to reject bad food. I'd be half the man I am.

[malarkey]

"Picky eater" can also be differently defined....I wasn't a picky eater until I got into the food business and had the vast array of choices that I didn't have before. Now, if I order something or buy something that doesn't live up to my expectations, I consider it as "empty calories" and set  it aside ( or give it to someone else!!). Life's too short to eat bad food....or boring food...or badly prepared food....

So......I'm a picky eater. I'll try anything  and when we go out to eat, I'll opt for the choice that sounds different or intriguing. But if it turns out to be badly prepared, well then ,back it goes.

But I would call you "discriminating", not "picky". I would define "picky" as someone who doesn't like peas because they didn't like them when they were 7 yrs old and haven't tasted them since. Or someone who doesn't like something because they've only had it badly prepared and aren't willing to give it another chance when properly prepared.

I like your "empty calorie" idea, I think the same way.