You mean like how a dozen years of trying in vain to get your kid to clear her own dishes and just bring them to the dishwasher becomes unimportant when you hear she had dinner with a friend's family and washed the dishes afterwards. You can never be quite sure how your kids will react when you're not there. For better or worse, how they act at home and when you're around may not be the way they act when you're not there. I recently performed introductions to the dishwasher with both my husband and son. "Guys, this is the dishwasher, Mr Dishwashwer, These two are my husand and son. They're first time users so be gentle with them". Dishes go in the dishwashwer when they're dirty, not on the counter. "This is a cupboard. Clean dishes like to reside in cupboards when they aren't being used". They looked at me as though I'd lost my mind. I frequently get reports of how helpful Ryan is when he's at someone else's house. Apparently he brings his dishes out, helps clear the table, he might even help set the table. I usually stare at the parent and ask what they've done with my son