Fresser

One of the really old-time waiters named Wolfie says that sardines were once popular as an appetizer.

I recognize the above; my point is that the sauce WAS once called "salad dressing," both in retail outlets and on the earlier Luger's website. As my Western Civ prof used to say, "I'm not making this up!"

I knew this comment would get me in trouble... When I visited Luger's three years ago, the steak sauce was indeed labeled "Salad Dressing." A friend from Long Island checked the bottle in his fridge and confirmed this. Evidently they have changed the labels & web since since then. And no, I'm not a fan of the viscous accompaniment. It really masked the taste of the steak.

The vaunted "steak sauce" served at Luger's is actually salad dressing. It says so right on the bottle, which is sold via the website and at local groceries. Fress in the Midwest

One warm August night Heartland Paella Party Where was KatieLoeb?

At Perry's Deli in Chicago, you'll often hear "Shaft" or "Theme from S.W.A.T." over the speakers. Periodically, Perry will interrupt the music (and the lunch line) to ask trivia questions. The first customer to answer the question correctly gets "a free stale pastry of your choice!"

Beware a joint that has smart-ass waitresses. Once I asked the waitress at a greasy spoon if they served Eggs Florentine. She looks at me and scowls, "Whaddya think this is? A restaurant?" "Ohhh...the gas station is across the street," I replied.

Emeril goes shopping: Butter Jack Daniel's Pralines Crawfish More butter

Stilton on top of a baked potato or latke is heaven. Gorgonzola is also yummy.

You weren't imagining anything, Ronnie. I was scooping up plates & napkins as people got up from the table, trying to speed up the cleanup process as busboys swarmed around us. As I did this, a 40-ish guy in a white shirt & moustache muttered, "We really need this table!" Now, I'm not one to accept the bum's rush from ANYBODY. But maybe they weren't used to a bunch of gringos ruidosos swallowing up half of their dining room. I did make sure to thank all the staff who served us along the way. And we left a 25% tip--generous by any measure. Just to smooth things over, I'll probably do a flyover at Nuevo Leon this weekend to tell them how much the Internet Invaders enjoyed everything. A shout-out to Chef Ted Czima: we'd be delighted to have you at any Heartland gathering. Some of the Lady Heartlanders are starting a fan club for you...

You've got a babysitter waiting when you and the small fries arrive. Ronnie Suburban's tot Lucas introduced me to the wisdom of Captain Underpants, so I think Ian and I will have plenty to talk about.

Katie, You're my Phavorite Philadelphia Phemale! Now how about posting that hat-wearing avatar? Fresser P.S. Do I get a kissy-face smiley like Tommy did?

[Cue the Fat Albert voice] Hey, Hey, Hey! The Fress-Man is coming to dinner today! Hey, Hey, Hey!

Some food photographers will doctor the food to enhance color richness; I've read of putting red lipstick on strawberries to make the berry "pop" in the photo. I know a commercial photographer at http://www.rjdphotoltd.com you might check out the site and call or e-mail Bob Dowey with questions. Tell him that eGullet sent you!

I'm hoping to bring Drummer Boy and Officer Friendly. These are two of my homeys. Drummer Boy describes himself as "(A) musician with a day gig." Really, he's a lawyer who should get out more. Officer Friendly is a Cook County deputy sheriff who is even more outgoing with strangers than I am.

People who write this way graduated from the e e cummings School of Punctuation.

YOU FIRST! Maybe the PT would make a good hearst I'm touched by your sense of self-sacrifice, Sweet Willie.

She's a Pam Grier look-a-like who showed up at the Pizzano's dinner in a miniskirt and sheer black stockings, setting Fresser's heart a-twitter.

One of my favorite budget-stretchers is actually pretty tasty: Vegetable Lasagna. Your local produce store is a good destination to assemble the goods for this recipe. (Just how you made it up to Golf Road from Warrenville is a mystery... ) Jerry's Fruit & Garden at Milwaukee and Oakton in Niles offers lots o' tomato sauces & pastas at reasonable prices. You'll need the following: One bag of lasagna noodles ($1.29) leaf spinach (59 cents) carrots (usually 3 lbs. for a buck) one pound of mushrooms ($2.00 or less) a one or two-pound container low-fat or skim ricotta cheese (under $3.00) a block of mozzarella cheese ($4.00) a 16 oz. can of tomato sauce (99 cents) Fresh basil, oregano & pepper grated parmesan to taste. Now the fun begins: Boil up the lasagna noodles in a large soup pot. Don't forget to add a little olive oil to the water as the noodles boil. While the noodles boil, cut the stems off the leaf spinach, tear up the spinach leaves and then submerge them in a large pot of clean water to rinse them. Drain, rinse and repeat. You'd be suprised how much dirt lurks in the leaves, and those little pebbles you'll find do not make for a toothsome recipe. Once the spinach is clean, dice it coarsely on a chopping board--you're aiming for small bite-size pieces. Then clean & scrape about three carrots and slice them about 1/8th inch thin--they'll add lots of color and texture to the dish but won't be overly crunchy. Finally, slice the mushrooms to your own taste. Once the noodles are boiled & drained, you'll need a large lasagna tray to assemble the dish. Grease the pan with some olive oil and lay about three lasagna noodles on the bottom of the tray so that they overlap. Now shmear some ricotta cheese to cover the noodle layer and sprinkle the chopped spinach on top of the cheese. Next come thinly sliced carrots and mushrooms and a drizzling of tomato sauce. No need to ladle on too much sauce--you'll end up with two or three layers of noodles & veggies. On top of the tomato sauce, you can grate some mozzarella cheese to taste. Then, layer more lasagna noodles on top of the veggies & sauce and repeat the process. Add chopped basil & oregano to taste. When you reach your final layer of noodles, do not add veggies on top. Simply cover the noodles with tomato sauce (so they don't burn in the oven), add a generous amount of grated mozzarella and dust with parmesan. Cover the dish(es) with aluminum foil and bake for about one hour at 350 degrees. After one hour, remove the dishes and peel back the foil. Return the dishes uncovered to the oven for a few minutes to brown the top of the lasagna. This hearty recipe makes about five or so servings for under $10.00.

Sounds more like an onomatopoeia to me. Those of you who grew up reading Mad Magazine like I did will remember Don Martin to be the master of onomatopoeiac sound effects. My two favorites were "Ploobadoof" and "McPwaf!" *A dozen brownies to anyone who remembers the Mad article article that featured the above-mentioned sounds.

I bet he's playing "The Old Dope Peddler."

Don't forget to bring your tiara and thong.

Thanks everyone! This totally made my day! Where do you get these adorable smileys, Katie? They're almost as cute as your smile. Now, when do we arrange the KatieLoeb & Fresser Get-Together? All eGulleteers are invited--especially Klink and Momo.

One year at Simchat Torah, I saw a Hasidic rabbi dancing the Macarena. Make sure to drink a shot for Fresser, Bloviatrix. And remember: liquor makes you shikker!

What's scary? Most Harold's Chicken Shack stores are in really ratty neighborhoods where, right or wrong, Caucasians really stick out. That's not to say the staff would be rude to you, but people can tell when you're not from around there. (Our intrepid moderator Aurora addresses this topic as well here: Speed Queen in Milwaukee Which reminds me of a funny Harold's story... -------------PAUSE FOR FUNNY FRESSER STORY------------------------ When I was studying at the monastery, ah, the University of Chicago, some thrill-seeking students would occasionally depart Hyde Park and venture down to 79th and Stony Island to nosh at Leon's B.B.Q. One time, three clowns from Lawn Guyland piled into a beat-up blue Dodge Dart with a tan trunk and drove down to Leon's. After midnight, mind you. Upon exiting, one of the party was greeted by a neighborhood denizen, who stated, "Silly white boy...You (sic) in the wrong 'hood!" {"No," I thought to myself upon hearing the story, "It was the trunk of the car that was the wrong color, not the hood!} Then the guy smashed a beer bottle on the windshield of the fleeing Hyde Parkers. What's nice about Hyde Park is that it's one of the only truly integrated neighborhoods in Chicago. You'll see black, white, Indian & Pakistani, and pretty much everyone else. So if you mosey into the Harold's at 53rd & Kimbark, (or any of the ones in the downtown area, such as 608 W. Adams, 7 S. Wells or 636 S. Wabash), you should feel comfortable. And the chicken is yummy!