Grub

Damn. Does anyone here watch Robot Chicken? I caught an episode of theirs that featured Mario Brothers in Vice City, and now I'm having visions of Frank going, "Ah, vaffancolo! You toucha my toothbrush!? Bastardo! I keeeel you! You toucha my toothbrush again, I beeeat you, I beat you so baaad -- your mamma, she no longer even reeeeecognize you, you -- you, insignificante! Aaah, mamma mia, my toothbrush, why they do diz, uh? Argh!"

Excellent resurrection! Not cause of the tiny dried anchovies per se (I'd be perfectly willing to try it, mind you) -- this is just a damn good topic. I like Brussel sprouts. And Norwegian goat cheese. And anchovies (not tried any tiny dried ones though).

I really didn't like that kid in the beginning, but I guess that's how Bravo intended to present him -- as a pretentious, pompous kid. And on that alone, I don't reckon he'll win. (How the hell does he do his hair, in a wind-tunnel?) Now, I like him a little more. But that's just 'cause he's being confronted by horrible, irrational assholes. Betty is one, but now there's Frank -- and his outburst has been featured a few times already, in promos. As far as Frank threatening him over his toothbrush being on the floor -- the camera showed Marcel placing it into his toiletry bag (and then once again, in a flash-back, during the confrontation), so someone else must have done that -- production staff or contestants. Threatening people with violence -- that's just not on. That's not cricket. For fuck's sakes. Hows the rule of law go? You attempt or pretend to strike someone and that's assault -- it's got to do with intimidation, I think. You actually hit them (or merely touch them) and it's battery. Frank threatened to beat Marcel so bad his mother wouldn't recognize him -- if he moved his toothbrush again. Whaaaaa? I'm sorry, but what kinda idiot makes threats of grevious bodily harm on a TV show?

Are you calling Betty "Bouncy Betty" or "Bouncing Betty"? The former seems to imply a bouncy, perky, high-spirted person, which seems entirely inaccurate -- I admit you can't judge these things accurately through a TV screen, but I'm not seeing that. I'm seeing more of a deranged Norman Bates sociopath mimicking socially friendly behavior, smiling wildly at odd moments, and declearing that she loves everyone -- because she knows she needs that "credit" since she inevitably will go mental and tear someone's face off. Hence, the landmine reference seemed more suitable a label. Correct me if I'm wrong -- I might very well be, cause I didn't catch all of the episode. But during the judging, Betty was asked to nominate someone to be sent home, and she seemed to refuse, or at least resist being the first one to offer an opinion -- like she was just way too nice a person do something that unkind. But then when Carlos said a bad word about her, she came back like some aggrevated, coked-up baseball umpire and started yelling "HE'S OUTTA HERE!" Between the three, you got boring Carlos, the Psycho Hose Beast, and that unshaven idiot goofball that surely must have blown someone to get a job at TGIF -- sorry, no Nobel prize fer joo if you managed to pull off the intellectual feat of figuring out who got sent home...

Yeah hay, Dave H -- kudos on that post. Excellent stuff. It's refreshing to see someone make such a well thought out, well researched statement, on a tough subject. Nice one. (Off to read Steingarten, now heheh). Edit: Oh yeah, Steingarten rules: "...I went out and bought a popular book called What Would Jesus Eat, by Don Colbert, M.D. It was in the Christian Inspiration section of my local Barnes & Noble. There's not a word in it on the foie gras issue. There's nothing about animal cruelty. Or about what Jesus did, in actual point of fact, eat. But I'll bet he never ate pork or lobster, because Jesus was a Jewish person. Colbert guesses that Jesus mostly ate manna. My corner bodega is plumb out of manna...

I've seen some good movies that involved food, like Tampopo, Babette's Feast and Delicatessen, but they didn't feature Maggie Gyllenhaal... I think I shall watch this movie.

Inspired words. Very cool -- this is a creative, and constructive idea for a thread. I think this would be a great supplement to the Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner threads. You don't have to be a vegetarian, in order to like vegetables. I know I'm not as knowledgeable as I could be, or you know -- diverse in my use of vegetables. Onions, carrots and taters. I'm a fucking hobbit. Lets see some great vegetarian meals, here! Those leek crêpes sound really good.

That doesn't sound like a good idea at all, to me. Animals and humans aren't equivalent. If you were to put a human, and a fish, and a duck, in a comfy chair, or a fish tank, or throw them off the roof of a building, it would be perfectly fine for one of them, and really devastating for the other two. Animals aren't humans. That's not to say that they don't have emotions, or that they can't feel pain, sorrow or happiness. Keeping a fish in a tank, for one's viewing pleasure isn't criminal, or bad. If you feed it, and keep the tank clean, it's cool. If you pour vodka into it, or introduce a piranha or an angry, sociopathic Bolivian Fighting Fish into it, it ain't. Quit antropomorphizing the animals already!

My apologies for being a dweeb and a nerd, but are you talking about Oslo, Norway, and if so, how'dya end up with New Zealand venison?

Holy shit! That is fucking horrible, man! I've spent several minutes just laughing at that picture. That is really nasty. I still think that there are a couple of other dishes in this thread (including one of my own) that look miraculously nasty -- but this one is special. I mean, it looks like it was intentionally made up to look nasty. Sauce splattered all over the place, on what looks like a paper plate -- hell, it looks like it was throw together by an angry drunk. Or a zombie. Yeah, that's it -- if Paula Deen went to Haiti and got bitten by a zombie, this is what she'd cook. She'd get a bottle of rum, get smashed out of her zombie brains, and cook that thing for someone she was really angry with.

That sounds like the best damn thing I've heard of in ages... I've only ever used Bearnaise with steaks, but damn... I feel like Jules in Pulp Fiction now, 'cept nevermind the mayo. I'm doing it, fries with Bearnaise damnit, I'm doing that one -- that's all there's to it.

What FistFullaRoux said: "...Take it for what it is. Most of the time, his "recipes" are more about techniques..." This is absolutely true. I didn't realize it until I got his book ("I'm only here for the food") and decided to cook something from it -- there were very few actual recipes in it.

Hang on there, lets put an end to that one... She DID do something wrong -- hell, she ACKNOWLEDGED the fact that she did something wrong. Her excuse was that she didn't know that the recipes were supposed to be locked down after they cleared it with the clipboard carrying, calorie-counting folks. The fact that every other participant in the show seemed to be aware that the recipes were locked down after they were counted, makes her excuse seem all the lamer, but hey, if you believe it, props to Betty. She's obviously skilled at what she does. She did do someting wrong. The fact that she tried to use an articifial sweetener in a baking process (as others have already pointed out) a sign of lack of knowledge. She probably spoke to someone about her cookie problems, and learned this. That's why she switched to sugar the next day.

Agreed, completely. Bravo claims they didn't catch any squeeze-bottle-action, but then again, I guess they have to claim that... I don't believe that for a second. They left it in the air -- yeah, dramatic purposes. Can't phrase that better myself. That Marcel didn't throw Betty under the bus didn't impress me, but it didn't surprise me either. He did predict that Betty would do that to him, if he messed anything up -- and I think that's probably a reasonable prediction; she seems like a pretty weasly character. But if he'd done that himself, I'd be pretty appalled. I don't think he deserves any props just for behaving like a decent human being. Betty's excuse was great -- theatrically speaking: "I didn't know" (ie., it wasn't MY fault), "technically, it wasn't cheating" and then cranking up the tears... That was the skilled behavior of someone who has gotten away with cheating before, but also has gotten caught cheating before -- and still managed to get away with it, because she knows what to say, and what to do. She slunk away like a scalded dog -- but she didn't go anywhere to cry, or lick her wounds -- she knew she just has to stay away for a bit, and try to accumulate some martyr points. She'll be back, all bouncy and smily and all-loving. And then, she'll tear Marcel's face off again. That team should have been DQ'd fer sure.

Semifreddo or pate a bombe eh? I'll try some recipes and have a stab at it. I'll report back... Thanks, guys! Edit: Two d's in Semifreddo... Was wondering if this was some kinda half-hobbit or semi Mr. Corleone recipe or whatnot...

Next week on Project Top Runway Chef -- the contestants feed a hundred diabetic, lactose-intolerant children with Tourette's and irratable bowel syndrome, from an ice-cream vending machine, with nothing but a spoon and two sticks to rub together. And (did I forgot to mention it?) -- the kitchen is being invaded by zombies! I should be producing this stuff.

Oh I'm in on this one!

Great foodblog! I had a hotdog with mashed taters and shrimp salad in Norway once and it was fantastic -- mind ya, you've gotta be as drunk as a priest to truly appreciate it The caviar in a tube is great stuff; you can buy it here in the US, if you can find a store that stocks it.

This idea struck me (I'm sure someone must have done this before) about a desert crêpe roulade with some kind of an ice cream filling... Does anyone know of something that is similar to ice cream, that I could use? Something that doesn't require the same slow-chilling-while-stirring method that ice cream requires? I see no point in doing this with pre-purchased ice cream, and have made a few failed attempt at making ice cream, in spite of having no equipment for it -- and I'll probably try that again one day -- but I was wondering if anyone knows of something I could use instead of ice cream, for a filling? The filling will probably also contain fruit or jam, and something cruncy in texture like chocolate chips or cookie crumbs. I intend to roll them up and freeze them, and then slice them up like sushi rolls before serving. Any help would be appreciated!

As bad as last week's show was, they easily outdid themselves this time... I would like to walk away away from a cooking show with some kind of inspiration, or knowledge. I've never cooked anything that was shown on the original Iron Chef, but damnit, I felt hyped up to cook SOMETHING, after seeing those geniuses at work. The only think I have gleaned from this season is that human beings are shifty, cowardly, backstabing hypocrites and should be avoided at all cost. And that's just the contestants -- the Bravo staff must be truly bad people. Quickfire: cooking out of a vending machine -- gimme a freaking break. Is this to placate the retard viewers who got upset with the "snobbery" from the contestants who thought TGIF was too lowbrow for a Top Chef challenge? Maybe next week's contest will involve the culinary challenge of figuring out which Taco Bell hot sauce goes best with what burrito? What a fucking idiot challenge. As if the challenge wasn't idiotic enough on its own, the vending machine ran out of items. Of course, this happened to Michael. I can't quite blame him for not taking the challenge seriously -- except that he's been browbeat mercilessly for not taking the competition seriously... I dunno about that dude -- he doesn't come across as Stephen Hawkins, but damn, he's gotta be real dumb to do that -- or else maybe he really doesn't give a damn... But then again, after the main challenge, Tom went after Michael's team for even allowing him to present the menu to the kids -- I think that was a good choice; Michael is a goofy, child-like guy. Maybe he dated Tom's daughter at some point? Main Challenge: Bite me. I mean, kiss my ass. Cooking for kids AGAIN? At least they let the contestants KNOW that they were cooking for kids, I guess that was a saving graze. But what the hell happened to those high ethical standards they made so much hoopla about during the Lychee thing? Betty's addition of sugar to her cookie recipe the next day was a helluva bigger deal... The way she tried to weasel her way out of it was depressing. One moment, she's ripping the flesh off of Marcel's face and the next, she's kissing him -- then she starts crying when she gets caught cheating. Creepy Oompa-Loompa hosebeast. I don't know who it was that spoke up about the use of oil, but to only speak up about it once you're called in as the losing team -- and then to try claim the moral high ground by refusing to say WHO had done these things, was completely spineless and pathetic. Bravo had the footage -- they knew who did what. That they decided to not send anyone home is the absolute most surefire example of the production staff manipulating the competition. Sad.

There exists an expression, in several languages that goes something like this: "Hunger is the best cook." I've never gotten around to figuring out if this is true, but I heard that in French, there is an expression that goes something like this: "A sauce is the best cook." Does anyone know if this is true or not?

Oh dear, he stiffed him?

Dunno how it stacks up against other stores, or even if it is the best in the area, but one very good one in the Sacramento area is Corti Brothers. It is supposed to be an Italian themed place, but has a lot of things from other European countries -- Scandinavian goat cheese, caviar and lefse, for instance. Lots of pasta and wine. Great cheese selection -- and a really great meat selection. But perhaps most important of all, the staff actually knows what they're talking about. Some of them appears to actually have cooked food themselves, even! They can actually offer advice on how to cook things. Mindboggling... Try that at the Whole Foods hippy/yuppie store -- if you want anything beyond the pre-made lobster bisque, you're screwed...

Well, this isn't a classic recipe, but I've been trying to create some good roasted potato wedges for a while. There's a burger joint nearby that does these great, extra big fries (wedges, basically)... I prefer to avoid deep frying, so I've been trying to create someting similar, but by roasting... Now, for the longest time, I used to think it was impossible to get that nice, crispy texture on the surface, that the deep fried spuds had -- but then I found The Fat Duck's Heston Blumenthal's recipe: Ingredients: - Potatoes, peeled and cut into wedges. - Flour. - Olive oil. - Thyme, rosemary. 1) Boil wedges in salted water until cooked through, but be careful not to overcook. 2) Sprinkle with flour. 3) Drizzle with oil. 4) Roast at 375 for 1 hour, turning and sprinkling with thyme and rosemary halfway through. (Well, that is, as far as I remember) Now, thyme and rosemary is all very great and wonderful, but it's more refined, elegant, suave, or whatnot, than what normally comes to my mind, when I think of fried taters... Perfectly fine for a 3-star Michelin joint, but it's like dressing up a mutt in a poodle suit, if you ask me. Okay bad analogy. But here's what I ended up with: Ingredients: - Potatoes, peeled and cut into wedges. - Flour. - Garlic powder, cayenne pepper. - Olive oil. 1) Boil wedges in salted water until cooked through, but be careful not to overcook. 2) Mix garlic and cayenne with flour, sprinkle over potatoes. 3) Drizzle with oil. 4) Stand wedges on their "backs" in a tinfoil covered rack, place on pizza stone, roast at 375 for 1 hour. I've tried a bunch of different things -- especially Indian style spice mixes (which I've not yet given up on) -- but this one is a total no-brainer success whenever I make it...

Hehehe, yeah that was great... The dish was supposed to be about childhood memories, so it totally made me think of that flick, Tommy Boy -- "You ate a lot of paint chips when you were a kid, didn't ya?"