Carrot Top

"The Cubicle Gourmet" really should be put into print. Sounds like a best-seller to me, and very very useful to many many people. Danielle - when someone keeps coming by and fondling your stuff, it does not mean they like your stuff. It means they like you. (Hope he is cute and nice. . . )

After reviewing more than a decade's worth of stories set entirely in the Wall Street investment bank (top five category) partner's dining rooms, first as Executive Chef, then Director, finally ending up as VP in charge of all foodservices including several cafeterias - I have to say that in all that time, I can remember only one Partner of the firm exhibiting behavior of this sort, at a breakfast. It was much more common to see this thing happen with younger men (never saw a tantrum from a female but of course the numbers there were nowhere near equal at the upper echelons so the study must be considered skewed along with other things one might consider skewed ). . .men with fairly newly-minted MBA's who were out to make their name. They always looked foolish to whomever was there, and I can not remember a single one of them rising much higher on the corporate ladder. And I have to say that it was even more common to see this sort of behavior in the cafeterias, with the more average level person "taking it out" on the cafeteria worker - in ways larger like loud ugly comments on the (subsidized) food that did not float their boats for some reason or ways smaller like being carelessly and unneccesarily dirty and unkempt with the food that they ate. On the other hand, I can count on more than the fingers of one hand some other "newly-minted MBA" types who did know some things about food, about manners, and about how to organize and prepare for a meeting that included food as part of it. Some are now Partners in the firm, some have their own highly succesful firms, some are in high-level politics, and some actually are now at the helms of the public/governmental organizations that run things to do with America's money and power. The bad-mannered ones, the uncouth, the ones that disrespected the food - well. God knows where they went. Probably they were thrown onto the trading floor with the other hyenas. Heh. Fine place to be, money to be made, bagels to be thrown. As for the Partner that mis-behaved that one time? Wily fellow. Didn't hurt him a bit. Moved on to politics at the highest levels. Brains can sometimes overcome naughtiness. Que sera.

I've never read a more amazing book of recipes for whole grains than this one:The Splendid Grain. (It even appears to be on sale now on Amazon. . . ). Wait a minute. There is another book that is as amazing for whole grains. This one:Mediterranean Grains and Greens by Paula Wolfert. Between these two books, there is a lifetime's worth of recipes to explore without ever being bored and probably rarely being disappointed with the idea of "whole grains". Amazing.

I KNEW that "the bureau swallows to take the fish idea powder" and that "Napoleon fries the idea powder" all this time, in my heart - - - but had never seen it so succinctly expressed. As for me, I am merely "living to fry the beef rice" (remember the disco song of the same name?) and naturally, in my off hours, to "pick private's ham of three texts cure". That does take a lot of time. Singing the "song of sung" in happiness at your find, I remain, "The Cold Cow in West in Special Grade Picks" P.S. Are you sure this is not a code? Anyone that reads it will fall down laughing and whomever wrote it can then come in and steal our jewelry and bonds and even our pastoral egg sand!

But is it okay with you to use food instead of report covers for purposes of this discussion? I hope so. Report covers don't taste as good. And they are nowhere near as difficult to make, generally. Nor as expensive, generally. Nor as emotionally appealing to most folk. Indeed, this has given me inspiration for a new sig line! Thanks!

Perhaps you could substitute "report folders" but it would not be the exact same thing. "Food" is not just something that is eaten or that is cooked, "period". After our ancient ancestors slaughtered their first deer and sat around the fire chowing down upon it for mere physical sustenance, their next act was to take a hacked-off leg and offer it to their neighbor. In this act, much of what is generally considered to be the essence of humanity was born. Sharing of sustenance. A thought and behavior process that goes beyond the mere animal instinct to something that might be considered "higher". Today in discussions of food we call this behavior "hospitality" when discussing its larger sense, and in the smaller or more singular acts, we call it manners. Certainly we could discuss manners or hospitality using "report folders" in an anecdotal sense, but it would not be quite the same. Report folders are quite nice, but they do not hold within them quite the same essence as a bagel for discussion of cultural norms, sensitivities or behavior. Therefore the anecdotes. Food is not just fodder for the stomach nor is it merely science for the mind or technique for the chopping block and hands.

The behavior exists, for sure. And you will find Dr. Jekylls and Mr. Hydes (or Ms. Hydes as the case may be) in any field. The only point I would make here is that underlings are not powerless, even in (and perhaps even moreso than in years past) the typical corporate situation. If there is any body of people working at the place at all in any sort of hierarchy or team, getting a reputation for this sort of behavior will not pay in the long run for those that exhibit it. What would I do? As Soba asked. Smile nicely and curtsey to the assholes then tell everyone who was anyone or who knew anyone afterwards about the interesting scene that had occured. Bwaaa haa haa. Karma. Never forget the power of karma.

Perhaps it was due to the phenomena called "positive thinking"? So often, saying so does make it so. Very unscientific in the world of food, I know - but true in the world of psychology. I often throw entire jalapenos into the freezer from laziness, to chop and use later. Never noticed any affect to the heat level. . . (Definitely not SSB here. . . )

Wilted baby spinach salad with thick chunky bacon bits, softened red onions, and quickly browned sliced portobellos in a deglazed pan raspberry vinaigrette. Sigh.

While telling tales of high-powered investment bankers behaving badly can sell books and create a feeling of superiority to such animals among the readers of such literature, it is a fact that most investment bankers who rise to any level at all of power within the workplace are not badly behaved. Their clients would not put up with it as such behavior can obviously make people uncomfortable and the deals would start falling through. There might be a rare enfant terrible who pulls this sort of prank (and who will get away with it as long as whatever genius is shown is still pulling in the money hand over fist) but they will not usually get away with it forever and continue to prosper in the structure of the corporation. Now LAWYERS may be a different subject. Wherever they are, who knows what might happen.

These things can be worrisome. Does the way a person eat say something about their personality? Sometimes I'm not sure. But probably. As far as deal-breakers go, I definitely knew there was something wrong with the man I was once married to when he saw button mushrooms in the fridge and insisted that he could not stand the taste of them, not to use them, only to use hoity-toity mushrooms like shiitake and enoki or portobello. . .fuss fuss fuss. It came to my mind that I was not sure he knew what he was talking about. I thought it food snobbery. So I made a recipe that included mushrooms and did use the common button mushroom in it, no others. Placed it in front of him and let him think it was the "other" sort of mushroom. He ate it and loved it. Told me he really liked the dish made with these sort of mushrooms. So good, so different from the blech button mushroom. I didn't say a word. Haven't said a word about it to him to this day. Naturally we are no longer married. How could you respect someone like that? ............................................................................ P.S. He actually had been a chef. Graduated from the CIA.

Moody's Diner in Maine used to make a home fries potato breakfast dish that was served topped with a meat sauce similar to what you might serve with pasta but not exactly. Outstanding. Around here sometimes (Southwest Virginia) you will find the diners serving "Beans and Cornbread" - stewed mushy pintos in a ham flavored broth with a side of cakey cornbread. Once in a while greens will be prepared to go alongside -garlicky vinegary long cooked greens. That is the only way the other stuff is tolerable to me - when the greens are alongside it. Durn Yankee.

A wetsuit.

Okay. I'll contribute. There was the time that I put a really enormous thing in my mouth and I'll tell you all about it. It was. . . Oh. Wait a minute. Sorry. This is eGullet. That thing was definitely not USDA. .................................................... Here's one. When I was about eighteen years old one time I was in a bar - a "yacht club" bar. The reason "yacht club" is in quotes is because it was a wanna-be yacht club bar. A yacht club bar in name only - a poseur of a yacht club bar. Why these places with strange carpeting, colored lights and sticky dark fake wooden tables think they can get away with this is beyond me, but anyway. One of the usual drunks came in. A boatbuilder. He held up a handful of green peppers in his hand. "Hey anyone want to taste my Polish peppers from my garden? Nobody can grow a pepper like me." Nobody took him up on his offer. They continued murmuring into their beers about who would win the America's Cup and why interspersed with insults of everyone they could think of that did not happen to be there that night. "I dare ya" he continued. "These babies are hot, hotter than any pepper this size ever." I'd had a few beers and as the smallest person there (and the only female there that had not won any alligator or mud-wrestling contests to date) I thought it imperative to prove my worth, my strength, my incredible powers. In other words, I was really determined to show off. This happens to short people sometimes. "They're hot, doll" he said, slightly giggling through his cigarette and the spittle on the side of his mouth. "Yeah, okay. How hot could they be? They look like regular peppers to me" I said, taking one from him and chomping down on it in a crunchy juice spewing bite. It seemed as it my mouth blew up to twice its size. My lips were an explosion of heat and the entire lower half of my face started to burn as if it were stuck to a piece of solid ice on a metal pipe. I smiled weakly and said "Uh, I have to go to the Ladies Room." Let us not dwell on what happens after one eats a pepper like this after drinking a lot of beer. I never could have imagined such a thing. Thank god my head was spinning a bit throughout this entire episode or I would have started crying, and that surely would have lost me the bet. One orange, one bite. You were smarter than me, Fresser. At least the orange didn't try to kill you.

My exact thought but I'm so glad someone else said it. . .

There is a reduced soy-sauce/garlic/chili oil/ five star anise mix that I used to make that would then be blended into a homemade mayonnaise (some adaptation of a "nouvelle cuisine" recipe that was then used for a steak salad). From memory, I do think that it is important to reduce it slowly over low heat rather than quickly over a high heat. Why? Who knows. It just worked better, tasted better.

Perhaps this thread could be re-named "The Gallery of (Regrettable? Perhaps there is a better term. . . ) Food Tricks" and all could compete to top each other as in "The Gallery of Regrettable Foods" thread that already exists for actual things cooked. Fantastic performances, guys. Fantastic. Blue-ribbon prizes to all. Keep up the good work!

That is an amazing treasure-trove of ideas you've listed, Mottmott. If you keep thinking of all of them you will be quite full before you even bite into the finished dish. The way I decide is to think of how I want the house to smell while I'm cooking. Let your imaginary nose lead you. . . .

The answer is many. Include the family diner in this list and there will be a huge component of PROFESSIONALS who do this on a daily basis that make a good living doing it. They have the titles of "chef", "cook", and "manager". And people pay to eat their food daily - tons of it. Does the fact that this is the way America eats affect the home cook? .................................................... On the other hand, how far does one take this in the other direction? How many home cooks make their own pate brisee or puff pastry? Their own stocks or broths? Their own butter? Cheese? Grow their own chickens? Raise their own lamb? Vegetables? "Cooking" is a sum of many parts. What finally hits the palate is affected as much by the original ingredient (that came from somewhere, was grown in some soil, fed on some grain or feed, butchered in some particular way, handled or aged or rushed to the market afterwards - each of these steps being performed by some human being highly competent in what they each do) as it is by the recipe (which someone developed and wrote down at some point) and by the chopping, combining, and heating or chilling that is done. Selection of product in the store of course also affects the final product and to know how to buy well is an art or science of sorts and one that is affected by the depth of the pockets. A simply shaved perfect truffle served over a plate of homemade (store-bought) pasta tossed with French butter. Or a piece of bony chuck combined with packaged aromatics from the supermarket, cooked to perfection. Which one demands more art? Of what sort? Who would be the "better" cook? The more "appreciated" cook? ......................................................................... Each thing that we eat is combined of a multitude of small acts of collaboration. (To good result or bad.) Each thing that we eat should allow credit for more than just the final act. The final act of cookery is only one small part of the whole. So credit? Give it - don't worry about taking it. The results will show.

How many chain restaurants have menus mostly composed of foods ordered in packages and reheated/dolled up?

Roanoke Natural Foods is the closest thing to a Whole Foods this area has but it is an entirely different animal. It is a smallish-to-medium size "Health Food" store that gave itself a new paint job and hired an designer and some help that do not look as if they will keel over any moment from malnutrition or long-term unhappiness as is common in most health food stores. The selection is not huge but they do have a "deli counter" that offers some ready-made things and hot herbal teas with a tiny brown rice cracker or two to sip while you ponder the six-dollar bite of cheese you might indulge in. Whole Foods Market (aka "Whole Paycheck") goes the extra ten miles or so beyond a dolled up natural foods market in all ways. Big-time corporate. Copywriters hired to write job descriptions for the cashiers and that sort of thing. Dreadful and exciting all at the same time. Va va voom. How we do all want to be Whole. In our Foods. At our Markets. Damn the prices. Sell the first-born. All kids do is eat, anyway.

Tableware Lust falls into the same category of Linens Lust. It is an excellent obsession, and should be looked at this way: It is much less expensive to buy a set of new (dishes, silverware, glasses and all that goes with it) ( or in the linens category towels, sheets, pillowcases, quilts, curtains) than it is to buy furniture or alternately to go on a vacation. To have a change in the colors, textures, shapes - and following along with that the ideas that go along with the design - is not only pleasant but NECCESARY. Why? Because boredom leads to being dullardly. And we can't have that, can we? ............................................................................... It is cheaper than therapy, too - and you actually have something to put in the pipedream of a Yard Sale that will happen sometime that will of course set you up financially secure for the rest of your days. Vivre le Tableware Lust!!! (Pier One, too, should be added to the list of where the car heads while in the throes of desire. . . )

S'mores strudels.

About five years ago they turned the old railroad station into a "Farmer's Market" and cute little food-mall sort of place. It is not huge but it is pleasant in season outside -plants and fruits and vegetables are sold. . .and inside there are several places to eat and buy food. Among these is a fish market and they do sell sandwiches, fried oysters, etc. There is also a place to have coffee and an Italian restaurant which might be called "Soho" which several people have told me is decent. There are signs to this place everywhere as you exit the highway. (It might be called The Depot? but I can't remember exactly. Surely the website for Charleston would have this information.) When visiting Charleston this is one of the places I go - the other is the mall in the center of the city which is also a good way to waste time and money. For shoppers seeking bargains (including some excellent kitchen supplies if you hit it right) there is a place called "Gabriel Brothers" about five minutes out of the center of town which sells overstock stuff. Incredible buys there. Brand name stuff.

What exactly is it that Hooters (Hooter's?) sells? ← Opportunities to gawk at scantily-clad waitresses. ← Is there some special foodstuff that they sell to go along with that activity? The signage solution seems quite simple, actually.