Varmint

For all the gruesome details of our 5 BBQ joint outing, go here: http://forums.egullet.org/index.php?act=ST...t=0#entry347934

Whenever I ask someone where their favorite NC barbecue restaurant is, I usually get the same 4 or 5 responses: Wilber’s, Lexington #1, the Skylight Inn, Short Sugar’s, Stamey’s, and maybe a couple of others. What folks often forget is how many barbecue joints there actually are in NC, many of them diamonds in the rough. I promised Fat Guy and his lovely wife, Ellen Shapiro, that I would take them to barbecue joints that aren’t on the top 10 lists. These are places that serve awesome barbecue, but for some reason, be it location, ambience (or total lack thereof), or some other strange reason, they’re relatively unknown. We visited 5 such joints, passed on a number of others, and ended our quest with that feeling of satisfaction that we know something that not many others do. But SSHHHH, it’s our little secret. Knowing that the Shaw-Shapiros had been stuck in High Point, NC for the past several days without good bakery products, I stopped by the incredible Guglhupf Bakery in Durham on my way to visit them. This gem of a bakery not only puts out some great pastries, but they make some of the best whole grain breads you can find. Plus, their bretzels (not pretzels) are a delight. I got some bread, some pastries, a multi-grain roll, and a guglhupf cake, of course! Even Momo enjoyed the bretzel action. I’ll do a full-scale visit with the L’il Varmints soon and report back here. I picked up Mr. and Mrs. FG, and we headed west of Lexington. I wanted to get outside of the self-declared barbecue capital of NC to places new to all of us. We started at Backcountry Barbecue in Linwood, NC. This place is owned by Doug Cook, who used to own Cook’s Barbecue in Lexington (which is recognized as the only legitimate NC barbecue joint that also smokes beef brisket). Fat Guy and I each ordered a coarse-chopped barbecue tray, and Ellen ordered a pint of slaw – she’s the slaw connoisseur. We also ordered a small tray of pork skins, as this is a delicacy FG had never sampled. The pork was presented in large chunks and was incredibly tender and moist – perhaps the most tender barbecue I’ve ever had. It had slight smoky flavor and was absolutely delicious. To be honest, it put to shame everything I’ve ever had in Lexington. Plus, it was a buttload of food. As FG indicated, this may not have been the best place to start, as we had established quite a high bar. We were then off to joint #2, but as we were driving, we saw a sign we couldn’t pass up: “Tarheel Q.” We drove around back, saw the woodpile, and decided to give it a try. We went with sandwiches this time, plus an order of hush puppies and slaw for Ellen. Wow! This was even better than the Backcountry Barbecue, as the pork had a more pronounced flavor of smoke. Plus, we really loved the cool lemon juice packets they offered with the iced tea! This place has a Lexington address, but it’s far enough outside the city limits that we decided it shouldn’t be included as an official Lexington joint. As we hit the road, wondering how the heck we could make it to more joints, Ellen informed me of how badly she was craving watermelon. Within 5 minutes, I spotted a pickup truck on the side of the road, just a couple hundred yards away from the Yadkin River. The cargo of this truck? Watermelon, of course. The couple who were selling the melon had a special deal going: If you buy one melon, it was $2.50, but for two melons, it cost you $5.00!!!! What a deal! This special became our running joke for the afternoon. Joint number 3 – Hendrix Barbecue (appropriately located in the community of “Fork”) -- put the fear of God into Ellen and Steve (speaking of God, we saw a great sign on a church: “Give Jesus a try. If that doesn’t work out, the devil will take you back.”). This was a dump. The kitchen and pit was in one room, where you ordered at a counter. The “dining room” consisted of a separate cinder block building with screened windows. There was also a lovely picnic area for your enjoyment. We had a good feeling about the barbecue, however. This was another wood burner, as were all 5 of our joints. The chopping block was well worn, and the owners, who have been running this place for over 30 years, let us get a photo of a nice ham ready for chopping. Plus, they served Diet Cheerwine, which was needed to cut back on our sugar intake from all the sweet tea we were drinking. Needless to say, this barbecue was fantastic. Good smoky flavor; cracklins mixed in with the meat; a touch sweeter than the other places’ pork. The hush puppies were out of this world, as they had the best crust and the most tender crumb. This was already a fantastic day. We continued on. We saw a sign for a Jockey Underwear plant, and Ellen got very excited about finding a great bargain on some new Jockeys. Unfortunately, the only store there was an employees’ only store. After deciding not to borrow an employee’s ID badge, we headed to restaurant number 4, the Red Pig BBQ House, just outside of Mocksville. This place had an awesome menu, where you could get coffee plus 2 refills for 50 cents without ordering any food. If you ordered food, you’d get “all the coffee you’ll have” for the same 50 cents. I had sweet tea, of course. They also had lots of great vegetables and a corn bread bologna sandwich on the menu. We shared a barbecue tray (sliced and chopped) with extra hush puppies and slaw, of course! Excellent Q once again. Very pronounced smoky flavor. The hush puppies had more wheat flour in them and were a bit lighter than the mostly corn meal samples we had had earlier in the day. Our final stop was Snook’s Old Fashion Barbecue in Advance, NC. We wanted to go here for dessert only, as we were too full of pork at this point. Fat Guy ordered one of each type of homemade dessert on the menu: coconut cream pie, chocolate pie, and peach cream cheese pie. Oh, and a barbecue sandwich for good measure. Like Hendrix Barbecue, Snook’s dining room is in a separate cinder block dining room. In fact, Snook’s seems to be like a game of Monopoly when the L’il Varmints are playing – buildings scattered here, there and everywhere. There’s a separate building for the bathroom, the barbecue pit, a couple of storage sheds, the kitchen, the dining room. All in white-painted cinder block. Well, waiting in the dining house where a sign stated clearly not to mess with the air conditioning unit, our food was delivered to us, and one bite of the coconut cream pie let us know it was worth coming here. The peach pie was loaded with fresh peaches in a cheesecake-like batter, but it had this pink jelly-like topping – corn starch plus gelatin plus strawberry??? Mrs. Varmint informed me that this is a very, very Southern dish. Cool. The owner wouldn’t tell us how the jelly topping was made, as the recipe was her mother’s secret. By the way, the barbecue had perhaps the best flavor of all – lots of crunchy cracklin’s mixed in with a great smoky flavor. But by this time, my taste buds had about given up on me. We were stuffed, and we decided to forego any more barbecue joints for the day. Six hours later, I’m still too full to think about food. I wonder if Fat Guy is sneaking some of Ellen’s watermelon? The barbecue tray at Backcountry Barbecue. Very tender, very moist, lotsa food. Mmmmm. Real fried pork skins. Fat Guy couldn't finish even one. Tourist. Backcountry's wood storage container (don't even think of calling it a run-down barn!) Could you pass up this sign?? Fat Guy was sad it wasn't Wednesday. Sandwiches and pups at Tarheel Q Only the finest of lemon juice for the customers Great woodpile The great watermelon truck Now which one??? Such a bargain to get two!!! Perfect!! NC barbecue joints often are in the middle of nowhere. The kitchen and pit building I neglected to leave my card to the left of the window. Impressive ham and chopping block Hendrix BBQ!!! Note how few hush puppies are left. Barbecue al fresco (with Diet Cheerwine, of course) The Hendrix "dining room" Next stop! Da Red Pig!!! We're getting mighty fully by now. Last stop We couldn't go for the 1-1/2 pound tray at this point! Each day-glo sign is a different menu item. Fat Guy is in heaven! Last Q of the day Some dessert is necessary, of course.

That is one repulsive picture!!! Looking forward to the design now.

We actually hit 5 barbecue joints today, none of which are frequently mentioned. Surprises galore! Report with photos to come.

That's no costume around here. Be sure to dress appropriately for the pig pickin'!!!

Yeah, it wasn't the critic's thighs, as Rocco would have had to have been on crack to do that! Now the other women with whom everyone was getting way too friendly, that's another story. Of course, I'm sure the film crew didn't egg them on or anything!

Tana- Just post a link here. We love to see food porn. And if you took the photos yourself, you can post the images, too. We don't want you posting images of other persons' work. To post an image, click on the IMG button, paste in your link to the image, and then click OK. Simple as that!

You mean like an extended Olive Garden commercial? Ah, but to quote one of the patrons, "You can get better food at the Olive Garden."

Just remember folks, that Mark Burnett is showing us what Mark Burnett wants us to see. He loves to create tension and hostility. He also creates on screen personas through creative editing, even though that persona may represent 1% of what the individual is truly like. Also remember, if the cameras showed great food and great service, it would be very, very boring TV.

I might also add that if you were to look at the average size of the patrons at Golden Corral (excepting the Sunday, after church crowd), Steven would be referred to as "Svelte Guy."

Great article, Craig. I recently went through this entire ordeal at our neighborhood Ruth's Chris, where every singly one of those strategies was utilized to the max. Because I was entertaining clients -- strike that, we were celebrating a major closing -- I was helpless. What was worse was the upselling of the food rather than the wine! Anyhow, it was a big client and a very worthwhile investment. Oh, and you do indeed suck.

Seeing Steven and Ellen are in my home state, I must chime in. K&W Cafeteria (and its brethren) is a statewide institution. Try going there in about an hour when the churches let out. You'll have quite a wait. These places represent much of the old South's principles: simple food served quickly at a fair price. I'd say these cafeterias (and the barbecue joints) are equivalent to the diners of the North. I've never been a big fan of these places (I have no self discipline and end up with 11 items on my tray), but for convenience and cost, they're top notch. The only downside of Chick-Fil-A is that they're closed on Sundays. And who ever said that a free market society has no morals???? Rather than barbecue, Steven needs to start hitting some of the "meat n' 3" joints. I'll see what I can dig up in the Triad and Unifour areas.

Our best friend just closed on her very first house this past week, so I asked her around 5:00 yesterday what she wanted me to cook her for dinner that night. She told me, "Steak. I want a steakhouse meal." That's what she got. Salad consisted of an iceberg lettuce wedge with homemade green goddess dressing (god, when was the last time someone had green goddess?), yellow tomatoes, grape tomatoes, and avocadoes. Dinner was pan seared filet mignon, baked potatoes, sauteed mushrooms, and lima beans with grape tomatoes and pesto. It's a pretty brown looking plate. We drank an awesome 1993 Banfi Brunello. I love to break out my decanter! For dessert, a 4 berry cobbler (straw, black, rasp, and blue) with vanilla bean ice cream.

Thanks a ton! You should be arriving just in time. Too bad you can't be here for the pre-pickin' festivities!

As far as help is concerned, you can call me Jimmy, cuz I'll take what you gimme! Friends are very welcome. My primary objective is to determine where the "maybes" stand and to see if anyone has had a total change of plans.

I'll seed the tomatoes from time to time. I also use just a touch of minced garlic, too. And if I really want to push the envelope, I'll use feta -- it tastes good, regardless that it's not Italian. Smoked mozzarella works well, too!

Unlike Pavarotti, of course. If he only limited it to a single milkshake, that'd be different.

Folks, could you please take a look at the attendee list several posts above to make sure this currently represents the best guess of who's coming? I need to reserve a tent, tables, and chairs, and I'm trying to estimate the size of the crowd. BTW, this will be a marathon event, of course, starting Friday afternoon, going through the night for a few lucky ones, and really kicking in on Saturday. I'm now shooting at the food being ready by mid-afternoon, say 3:00. That gives us more daylight to work with. Thanks, y'all.

By the way, I forgot to provide a link to the Dillard House's website. Here it is: http://www.dillardhouse.com

Sam, are there foods that you totally avoid to protect your voice? Is dairy a no-no (based on the milkshake and cabrales consumption, perhaps not!)?

I recall Craig Camp making a big distinction between broth and stock with respect to making risotto. Is this a distinction without a difference?

We had a huge wedding. Mrs. Varmint is from Raleigh, and her family is very active socially -- remember, this is the South. Thus, over 500 at the wedding itself. Nevertheless, we did things extremely non-traditional. No tuxes, Mrs. V. didn't walk down the aisle (popped from behind the altar), people wore jeans. It was scandalous here, but it was a blast. We managed to eat some chicken satay at the reception. We had 5 food areas, each a different cuisine. After we danced our asses off, we went to a local hotel and ate some fruit that was in our suite. We were really too tired to eat much of that, and the Dom that was waiting for us in the room also was barely touched. The pillows were wonderful!

The E-man's photo didn't turn out, unfortunately. I borrowed a friend's digital camera to take these shots, as I'm still in analog world.

To me, an essential element of a fast food restaurant is the ability to eat it in the car while driving. Disregarding the dangers of doing that while changing the radio station and talking on my cell, I still want portability. I want to go through the drive-thru, get my food, and continue. If I hit a fast food joint, I rarely eat inside -- I eat in my car. Many of the healthy options just aren't made to eat in the car. That's an element that must be strongly considered.

Maggie, there are so many things that you don't get. Why oh why????