Varmint

hwilson- Bring the whole family! Here's the current plan: I will be cooking the pig on one large cooker. Wood has not been delivered yet, but we're trying for a mix of hickory and apple. I'm also getting another cooker, which will have pork shoulders and chickens. All brining will be done in a bathtub! Any pickling (i.e., inebriation) will be done on the tennis court! The pig will start Friday night. The shoulders will start Saturday morning. I'll make the sauce, which will be my personal bastardization of eastern and western styles. Dave the Cook is developing Brunswick Stew. We'll cook a large pot the day of the event. Malawry is in charge of hush puppies. We'll be using a large turkey fryer for that. Lots of people are doing desserts and a couple are doing sides. We'll also need slaw, taters, and, if they're available, collards. I'll assign someone to make these. Any volunteers. One of my partners is bringing a keg of (cheap) beer, but we'll need more. We can work that out later, but a decent keg would be good. We'll need some sweet tea. We can make it here. Most of the cooking will be going on at my house and at my in-laws' place. I have a crappy kitchen, but my in-laws, which is about a mile and a half away, has an awesome kitchen. For those of you driving, if any of you have very large bowls or sheet pans, please bring them. Mark, I can't recall what you said you might be doing. I really am trying to keep the items we're making limited to the above. That way, everyone gets to have a reasonably authentic pig pickin' meal, with the appropriate sides. Plus, we needn't worry about everyone just getting a teeaspoon of each item. Desserts will be wide open, of course!!! I'm not nearly as organized as Rachel, but I think we'll pull this off.

Power's back on here, after being out for 3 hours. Lots of limbs down, but the big ones missed the house and cars. The tennis court survived, too. I made the family some Asian barbecued chicken wings, fresh cut fries, and broccoli.

I'm home. Winds are gusting up to 50 mph.

Still working on some music options, but please bring the acoustic instruments. We might need it for entertainment during the all night pig cooking.

It's raining hard. Wind is gusting up to 40 mph. I'm working and getting ready to interview for a new secretary. Anyone who comes in for an interview in conditions like this earns major brownie points in my book!

No you won't! You have to take the local (#6)! The express doesn't stop there! Gotcha. Thanks.

I chickened out and had ice cream instead. All is still very quiet here. The rains are just starting to hit the Outer Banks. We'll get winds tonight, but I'm pretty confident that we will miss the major part of this storm.

jesus dude, you're supposed to stock up on emergency supplies!?!!!!!! good luck though. Two cases came home with me tonight. I'm good to go.

Total cloud cover now. The clouds are moving from east to west at a pretty good clip. Gentle breezes. Anyone have a kite? School is cancelled. Work is not. There's something not right about that. Will make scallops tonight. With corn, grape tomatoes, and cheese polenta. Might make a glorified fig newton by caramelizing fresh figs and wrapping in puff pastry. I need more wine.

All I can say is that most of our unhealthy trees were taken out with Hurrican Fran in 1996. I also vividly remember that when Fran was about 24-36 hours away, it wasn't really supposed to hit Raleigh at all. When it was 6 hours away, they started to realize we might be in for something big. It ended up being the 4th most costly hurricane in US history. The big difference with Fran is that we had had a solid week of rain prior to the storm hitting. The ground was so wet that the roots didn't have anything to hold onto when the winds came. It's been quite dry the past couple of weeks. Anyhow, we're on the top of the tree guy's list, so the tennis court will be cleared should a few massive oaks fall on it. If something is going to fall, I hope it's one of the hickories, as green hickory is good for pig pickins.

The outermost bands of clouds from Isabel are just starting to appear in the sky. I'll keep on working!

It looks as if I'll take the "Lexington Express" to the Canal St. stop. I'll head east on Canal St., turn right onto Mott St, and Sweet n Tart is a couple of blocks down (before it hits a crazy intersection with Worth, E. Broadway & Park Row). Mind you, this is all coming from the maps on my PDA.

OK, what subway stop is closest to Sweet n Tart? We'll be coming from mid town.

Gee, you're taking my idea for one of my Daily Gullet pieces! Seriously, I remember when we had but one L'il Varmint, and how I resisted taking him to the grocery store. He just made it more difficult than it needed to be. When we had 2 children, I claimed it was near impossible to take them both. I did it anyway. With 3, you've got to be kidding me. Impossible. Still, there I'd go, with the 3 of them in tow. Now with 4 kids, there will be peace in the Middle East and cats and dogs will play together before I take all 4 to the grocery store. Wrong again -- I do it all the time, and I actually enjoy it. Taking all 4 actually makes it easier for me to say "No" to any specific (and unreasonable) demands. I let the kids negotiate those impulse purchases, and let me tell you, it's not always the 9 and 8 year old who wins! Plus, if one of them wants something nasty, 3 others might very well join me in telling the L'il Varmint that it is indeed a nasty choice and that we need to find something that's better for everyone. I put our 2 (almost 3!) year old in the cart seat. The 3 others stand dangerously on the under-cart rack -- as if this is any more dangerous than anything at the local playground!!! When we need something off the shelf, we take turns getting it -- unless it's incredibly light and at my waist level -- that's for the L'il-est Varmint to get. Going through the check out is usually easy, too, but sometimes, the candy and books and lighters and razors are too much for them to keep their hands off. I let 'em get a slim jim instead -- you need to broaden their palates with spicy, fat-laden meat sticks, right? Plus, slim jim's are from North Cackalacky!

Anyone else want to come? We'll have food for you!!!

When we were hit 5 years ago, we had had a ton of rain for several days before the hurricane hit. The ground was so soft that the roots of trees had nothing to hold onto when the winds hit. A gas grill is a lifesaver during these times. Just keep on hoping it continues to weaken!

Again, Ellen, thanks for the great report. This is a hell of a lot of work for you to do all of this for us, and I can honestly say that I very much appreciate it. Great reading. By the way, what wine goes well with bezoar mutton stew?

We'll be fine by the 11th. Even with lots of damage. Last hurricane 5 years ago knocked out our power for 8 days and confined us to our neighborhood for 5 days. The big concern here is trees -- they tend to fall over with lots of wind -- and we have lotsa trees!!!

Thanks for the Arthur Ave. offer to everyone, but we're taken care of that Thursday. See you at Sweet n Tart!

Hell, the barbecue trips without Ellen would be like a barbecue sandwich without slaw or tea without sugar. It just wouldn't be complete.

Dumpling- We're still looking forward to getting together with people at Sweet n Tart, but we'll not be able to go to Arthur Ave., as that is now on our Thursday itinerary. Sorry for the last minute change of plans. So, will a couple of hick tourists be able to find this place? Is there a subway station nearby?

Don't be ragging on North Cackalacky, now! Just because we're the second leading pork producing state in the country, we acknowledge only pork barbecue as being worthy, and we're the former home to the KKK -- this shouldn't lead one to conclude staying kosher is difficult here. Er, never mind.

Ahem.

My sentiments exactly. As I said in the first segment, this is my all time favorite post on this site. I'm a bit surprised Ellen hasn't decided to write a book about this (mis)adventure.

Please make sure that there are at least two or three people left to help me with the pig on Friday! Thanks.