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These stories are absolutely fantastic. I had no idea when I stumbled out of bed this morning, that before lunch I would have learned so many ways to use my kitchen in self deffense. When it comes to bugs, I will use whatever is closest if need be to kill it.

I have left a pot on the stove with lid and book on top for 2 days while waiting for my husband to return how and take care of it (roaches are the WORST).

I have killed 3 wasps, one right after another, with my meat scissors... it was very morbid, being they kept MOVING after they had been cut in half.. stabbing just wasn't as effective.

Last night I beat a cricket to death with an oven mitt.

I also have used our grill lighter to burn a many of things to their eventual death.

My sister was NOT nice to me when we were kids. We do well now as adults as long as we don't live near each other more than 6 months. I was probably about 8, and her about 12. She held me down and shoved cherry tomatoes through my clentched teeth and up my nose. After using my legs to shove her off of me, the goo'd up tomatoes splattered across the top of the wall, and of course.. the ceiling. Mom and Dad were not happy.

Especially Mom... because my mother and all her siblings were tortured in school by the lunch ladies. They grew up very poor, and everyone knew it. All my relatives claim this next bit as having happened to all of them. (You would think after the first one, the other 6 siblings would have learned??)

You know those nice green wiggly squares of jello with fruit in them, and the cool whip on top, they serve in the school lunchroom? Everyday they would be so eager to get their dessert. They would wait for the lunch ladies to hand them their plates of the wiggly stuff, and sit down... get their spoon ready for the frist bite of that cool whip heaven.... and it was mayonnaise. They all fell for it. They also claim the lunch ladies would replace the cherries on top of things with pieces of tomatoes just for them. To this day most of them will not eat anything that looks like mayonnaise... cream cheese, cool whip, etc... as well as tomatoes.

As for "major kills" with kitchen items... my great grandmother was working in the kitchen during the summer in about 1920 Florida... so no a/c. She had all the doors open. She had been either at the stove for a while, or at the sink for a while, and turned to switch places... and was bit by a snake on her ankle. She reached out and grabbed her good ol cast iron skillet, and brought it crashing down on the snake... severing it in two. To her horror, the front part of the snake slithered away and back outside! She grabbed up the back end of the snake, tossed it in the skillet, grabbed the lid and threw it on top.... then ran to the neighbors to be rushed to the doctors. I would have loved to be there when she told the doctor the story of the snake that bite her, and smashing it in half, and the head running away... and all she had left was the tail... and presents the covered skillet with the end of a snake inside.

And no... she did not take it home and cook it

As for the snake... the head was never found... it turned out to not be dangerous, and my great grandmother'a ankle healed fine.