"Foreign Objects"

[NeroW]

Outside at the curb is the biggest damned Budweiser beer truck I have ever seen. We are talking full bore 18 wheeler. After we assured him that he had the right address, he proceeded to wheel in somewhere around 50 cases of beer. Of course, all of the neighbors saw the truck and we were heckled about our prodigious beer drinking ever since.

fifi, you just solved a problem that's been nagging me for years: how to get my hands on 50 cases of free beer. All I have to do is say I found a bug in my Bud.

Come to think of it--has anyone ever done that kind of thing? Lied, I mean, to get free product? Some friends of mine in high school said they found a twig in their Skittles. They got 5 free cases of Skittles.

I wonder how widespread that is? And how companies make sure you're not trying to score free product?

[babyluck]

Also in this same cafeteria, I found what looked like a human molar in my pizza.

I had this happen to me but I am positive that it was one because I took a good look. I bit down onto it while enjoying a delicious fruit tart at a favorite NYC café. I always tell this story to people to illustrate what a passive diner I am. I discreetly bent my head down to get something out of my bag and removed the object from my mouth, took a look--"yup, that's a tooth all right"--wrapped it in a napkin and discarded it in the bathroom. I didn't even tell the person I was eating with. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to make a fuss--to be honest it hardly bothered me at all and I knew it would get blown out of proportion. My companion, who was a friend visiting the college I was at, would get freaked out, and the staff would either be oversolicitous or disbelieving, and I didn't want to feel weird going back there.

To this day, I never divulge the name of the place it happened because I like it so much and don't want to see dentophobia shut it down, only to have it turn into another Starbucks. They make damn good coffee...

P.S. Also during college, I got broken glass in a beer but we couldn't collect on it since none of us were legal.

[phaelon56]

It was not one that I got but rather.... one that I inadvertantly served. During my relatively brief career as a waiter (about 18 months) I was working in a bistro that was famed for their Onion Soup Gratinee. It seemd that every other customer ordered it and the crocks were lined up by the dozen or more to have toasted crouton and cheese thrown on in assembly line fashion by a line cook before they were broiled. On one insanely busy Friday night.... one of the brackets on the wire shelf above the assembly area somehow worked its way loose and fell onto the top of a crouton during the assembly process. Working with blinding speed as usual, the line cook covered that one with cheese like the others and in the darkened pickup area, I grabbed it and served along with the other three bowls to that table. My customer immediately asked "What's that thing?" when he spotted a sharply angled object protruding fromt he top of the soup, enveloped in melted cheese. Fortunately he had not taken a bite and was perfectly content with an apology and a speedy replacement.

[NeroW]

Also in this same cafeteria, I found what looked like a human molar in my pizza.

I had this happen to me but I am positive that it was one because I took a good look. I bit down onto it while enjoying a delicious fruit tart at a favorite NYC café.

You are a better person than me. I would have demanded to know from whence it came. Come to think of it, how would a tooth get in someone's food? Don't adults stop losing their teeth at some point?

[balmagowry]

After we assured him that he had the right address, he proceeded to wheel in somewhere around 50 cases of beer.

Fifi - this must be some kind of an all-time record in the payoff department! Puts puny little individual cases of soup and such all to shame. From a corporate relations standpoint, I'm particularly impressed with the VP showing up with cold 6-pack in hand. Did they *know* about your FDA background? Either way, what a great build-up.

Come to think of it--has anyone ever done that kind of thing? Lied, I mean, to get free product? Some friends of mine in high school said they found a twig in their Skittles. They got 5 free cases of Skittles.

I wonder how widespread that is? And how companies make sure you're not trying to score free product?

Can't say I have; usually I am careful to save foreign objects (a piece of glass, a lump of bone) that turn up where they shouldn't, but I'm afraid I tend to space out and/or run out of momentum before I get around to profiting by them. Then again - there's always the cockroach-in-the-salad scene from Victor/Victoria....

[fifi]

After we assured him that he had the right address, he proceeded to wheel in somewhere around 50 cases of beer.

Fifi - this must be some kind of an all-time record in the payoff department! Puts puny little individual cases of soup and such all to shame. From a corporate relations standpoint, I'm particularly impressed with the VP showing up with cold 6-pack in hand. Did they *know* about your FDA background? Either way, what a great build-up.

No. The VP didn't know and I don't think he ever did. I was impressed.

[QuinaQuen]

Face it, kids, no operation is small enough to where a foreign object will go unnoticed.

Animals have bones. Plants have dirt, and all the odd little things that show up in dirt.

And when you find a hair in your food, do you even check to see if that hair matches someone in your party?

I had a customer make a big stink about a roach on his pizza one fine summer day. I looked at the food, and realized that the offending arthropod was situated on top of a browned spot on the cheese. Yes, I knew it was a plant; that roach could not have possibly been cooked with the pizza, or there would have been a light spot directly under it. It couldn't have simply fallen on the food during delivery to the table, because the surface wasn't hot enough to immediately immobilize the most resilient arthropod on the face of this earth.

But I comped it because I didn't want that dirty little scammer to make a big stink in front of all the other customers. Do you want to be a nasty little grifter? Think long and hard about where that foreign object could have come from. If it doesn't immediately threaten your health, just pick it out and keep eating.

[sml311]

Shortly after I left FDA, we were living with my sister for a while and we were gardening on a really big scale through the hot Texas summer. Needless to say, copious quantities of cold beer were involved. We got a batch of budweiser that had gunk settled out in the bottom. With my FDA knowledge, I could decipher the code on the six-pack. I called Budweiser. (They have a big brewery here in Houston.) The quality control guy was very polite and responsive. A few minutes later, a lady called and asked if we would be available the next morning for someone to pick up the offending remainder of the six pack. Sure enough, about 7:00 the next morning this gentleman rang the doorbell. It turns out that he was a VP of something. He had a cold six pack in hand. We served him coffee and fresh baked rolls and he entertained us with lessons on cleaning glasses and pouring beer. We were very satisfied with the outcome. Little did we know...

About a week later, we are sitting on the back porch on a hot afternoon. Through the open garage door we hear the rumble and hiss of a big truck coming to a stop. This puzzled looking guy walks up and he is looking at some papers. He says he is supposed to make a delivery and is not real sure he has the right place. Outside at the curb is the biggest damned Budweiser beer truck I have ever seen. We are talking full bore 18 wheeler. After we assured him that he had the right address, he proceeded to wheel in somewhere around 50 cases of beer. Of course, all of the neighbors saw the truck and we were heckled about our prodigious beer drinking ever since.

This reminded me of the time I was in the Chinese Embassy in DC to participate in a discussion with one of their officials. I was offered a Sunkist soda, which I took, not wanting to offend my host. I opened it, took a few sips and noticed small dirt flakes coming out and resting on a lip. I looked at the person next to me to see if she had noticed, and she gave me a knowing smile and nod that said, "Yes, I've noticed the dirt flakes too." After seeing the thread on soy sauce made from hair, I'm not entirely convinced I was drinking Sunkist. Probably Sunkast or something! Still awaiting remuneration from the Chinese government on that one and definitely don't want a truck full!!

SML

[puhorst]

I have two:

1. My parents, being wonderful greethumbed Berkeley, CA foodies grew Swiss Chard in our backyard in the early 80s. As I child, I did enjoy the sweet goodness of the sauteed greens and garlic, until the fateful day when instead of my mother preparing, my father did the honors. He went outside, collected a few crisp leaves, and washed them with the garden hose. Brought them inside, tore them up and tossed them in a hot pan with some olive oil. Sauteed lightly - just enough to wilt them slightly... and served.

I got the prize: a still LIVE snail crawled up and out of my pile of greens... much to my 4 year old horror. It took me 20 years to eat swiss chard again, and when I did, I washed the poor stuff almost into pieces.

2. My father, again. It ends happily though, with no emotional scarring. We were out to dinner. He ordered oysters rockafeller as an appetizer. Bit into one, broke a tooth on a pearl. A REAL pearl. Quite beautiful, and not terribly small either actually. Dinner was comp'ed, and my mother ended up with a new pendant.

[hannnah]

I've got two good ones. One time we went to one of the many franchised Pizzeria Uno's around DC. When my pizza came out, there was a corkscrewed metal shaving melted into the cheese on my pizza! We called the manager over, who all but accused me of planting the shaving and refused to comp anything or bring me a new pizza. Like I carry around my own pizza oven to melt things into the cheese. Right. We've never been back.

The second one, we were in Wong Kei, a Chinese restaurant in London famous for its discourteous service. I was about halfway through my chicken and sweetcorn soup when I dredged up a nicely tenderized silverfish. We pointed this out to our waiter, who promptly brought me another bowl of soup. Now, my husband pointed out later that the soup they brought was undoubtedly from the same pot as the silverfishy bowl, but it didn't have any silverfish directly in it, so I didn't mind so much.

[NeroW]

2. My father, again. It ends happily though, with no emotional scarring. We were out to dinner. He ordered oysters rockafeller as an appetizer. Bit into one, broke a tooth on a pearl. A REAL pearl. Quite beautiful, and not terribly small either actually. Dinner was comp'ed, and my mother ended up with a new pendant.

That's awesome. I always wondered if that had ever happened to anyone.

[Fresser]

I cut my tongue on a piece of glass I found in my Campbell's soup. I sent the offending shard of glass and the empty can to their headquarters. They sent me back coupons for MORE soup!!!

No more soup for you!

[auntdot]

In the late 70's I was working in a medical research lab on ways to prevent hyaline membrane disease in preemies.

We used rats.

We cleaned rat cages.

I became familiar with rat poop.

Fast forward several years. We are visiting Boston and tred a local brew called Haffenrafer's (sp?) Private Stock (known to our Boston native friend "the Green Death" .

After drinking the bottle, at the bottom, was a rat poop.

Maybe that was why they called it the Green Death.

[MichaelB]

Mine was say 25 years ago at a sandwich shop here in Cincinnati. Theplace serves huge double deckers. There is something hard in my sandwich. After removing said hard object from my mouth, I inspect a long fingernail painted bright red. I look over to the woman running the roast beef slicer. Yup, same red color and yup, a brand new roast mounted on the slicer. She sacrificed that nail to get the last couple of ounces of yield for her employer.

[srhcb]

When I was young my Dad used to hunt ducks. Whoever found the first piece of shot during the meal was awarded the "bee-bee prize".

[babyluck]

Also in this same cafeteria, I found what looked like a human molar in my pizza.

I had this happen to me but I am positive that it was one because I took a good look. I bit down onto it while enjoying a delicious fruit tart at a favorite NYC café.

You are a better person than me. I would have demanded to know from whence it came. Come to think of it, how would a tooth get in someone's food? Don't adults stop losing their teeth at some point?

I wonder about that to this day.

[NeroW]

Also in this same cafeteria, I found what looked like a human molar in my pizza.

I had this happen to me but I am positive that it was one because I took a good look. I bit down onto it while enjoying a delicious fruit tart at a favorite NYC café.

You are a better person than me. I would have demanded to know from whence it came. Come to think of it, how would a tooth get in someone's food? Don't adults stop losing their teeth at some point?

I wonder about that to this day.

So do I.

[srhcb]

Although it never really happened, (at least as far as I know), back when I was in high school we used to joke about knowing our friend Grub Rahkola was working if you found a Camel butt in your Dilly Bar.

[FlourPower]

Not really a foreign object, but I've been served raw chicken a couple times. Once at a local place and once on top of a Caesar salad from Chili's.

We've also gotten a couple rocks on pizzas over the years. Still not sure how that happened.

[clifford]

2. My father, again. It ends happily though, with no emotional scarring. We were out to dinner. He ordered oysters rockafeller as an appetizer. Bit into one, broke a tooth on a pearl. A REAL pearl. Quite beautiful, and not terribly small either actually. Dinner was comp'ed, and my mother ended up with a new pendant.

My girlfriend once had a pearl in her vichysoisse, and it was still attached to the earring. When we brought it to our disinterested waitresses' attention, she condescendingly replied "no one in the kitchen would wear an earring LIKE THAT".

She then gave us a great little patronizing smile that said, "Eat your fucking soup".

My all-time favorite foreign objects story was when I worked in a little restaurant in Baltimore. I walked into the service area where I found one of my servers staring at the finished plate of Oysters Rockefeller. We served these four to an order in a cassoulet (sp) filled with rock salt. There stood Steve, staring at the empty cassoulet and the four empty shells. He had a very puzzled look.

We started talking about the absence of the rock salt, and how it made it out of the kitchen and to the customer with no one noticing. I asked Steve how it even made it to the table, since it had to pass the cook, expo, runner, server, etc.

Then the customer came staggering out of the dining room, literally careening from wall to wall as he headed for the bathroom. I followed him in and watched as he began to projectile vomit. I went back to the table and informed the gentleman's wife that he was violently ill, and might require medical assistance. The wife responded, "I think it was those white things he ate".

"What white things?" I replied.

"You know, the white things with the oysters" she continued.

"You mean.....the rock salt?????" I said, incredulous. "UNDER the oysters??"

"Yeah, what are those?" asked the idiot's wife.

"Ma'am," I flatly stated, "those are rocks, rocks made of salt".

The man left in an ambulance and we never heard from him again (to the best of my knowledge).

Now, when the asshole Chef heard about the incident, things again got interesting, as he felt that it was a service issue and the waiter should have informed the guest not to eat the salt. I simply replied, "While were at it, we should tell them not to eat the plates, too."

At the end of the night, we wighed the rock salt that fills the cassoulet. Slightly more than two pounds. And he ate them all. With a spoon. I can't for the life of me figure out how he did it.

[Katherine]

OMG!!

Lucky he lived.

[estragon]

Hmmm....

Cockroach in the bottom of hot and sour soup, Chinatown NYC (and I ate almost all the soup... )

Long polyethylene strip, in a Knorr mix.

Large stick, in a Stouffer's dinner. Mostly unpleasant, no chance you'd eat it.

A nice-sized chip of mirrored glass, Old El Paso Salsa. Very nice, sent us scads of coupons.

[ElfWorks]

i am soooooooooo not reading this thread.

:D

xo

[Holly Moore]

I was Regional Marketing Manager for Dunkin' Donuts back in the mid '70's. A couple of incidents come to mind. The first is opening a lumpy envelope from a customer to discover a fully chewed bite of a donut with a small pebble in it.

The second was an error by a baker. Somehow powdered detergent got mixed in with the shredded coconut. The detergent had lye in it. A serious incident. At least I thought it was until, in a mild panic, I called the Director of Marketing. His instant response, "Oh, he got the song wrong. It is 'Put the lime in the coconut.'"

The rule in any restaurant, by the way, is to do whatever it takes to relieve the customer of the foreign object. No evidence makes the potential suit much harder to prove.

Then there was the new cook at Holly Moore's Upstairs Cafe. He put crab in the Crab Imperial. A very costly foreign ingredient

[ambra]

Many years ago, I had the great displeasure (for many reasons besides the following) of working in a bakery in Italy. We were making sesame cookies, and it was my job to roll the dough through the sesame seeds. When I noticed that some of the sesame seeds were moving ,I quickly asked the boss what to do. To which he replied, "eh, a little bug never hurt anyone, besides no one notices!" (!!!!!!!!!)