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Rocky Mountain Oysters


Liza

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Now that my dear husband has connections, he's bringing home the oddest things. Last night, it was Rocky Mountain Oysters, really bison testicles.

Ahem.

So we do a little saute of onion, carrot and celery. Throw in some sliced creminis. Add the RMOs with a little light cream and fresh thyme. And would ya believe it, they were delicious. Sort of sweetbread-ish (and next time, I'll flour them before to see if they can get crispy), and only variety-meat-ish at the finish. They definitely paired well with the mushrooms, as both have that earthy quality. I could easily see serving them, without naming them of course, to just about any meat eater, and having them go over big.

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That was an intersting review, thanks.  I would not have thought they would taste very good, but prepared and described the way you did, I could imagine they did.  I have only heard of these, never seen them prepared.  First question, did you buy them by the pound, and if so, how much are they per pound?  Secondly, when they are prepared and served, it it apparent by looking at them what they are?

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My dear husband got them for free, but he'll find out the price. They can't be THAT expensive as demand is not that great. They're sold by the pair. Yes, really. About 1/2 to 3/4 pound per pair.

And no, you can't really tell what they are by looking at them. Davy adds that for the adventurous eater, it's pretty easy. He thinks kidneys are much more 'heady' and stronger-flavored. Says RMOs are 'cakewalks' in comparison.

OOPs. Didn't mean to post it twice.

RMOS are purchasable from Elk Trails Bison Ranch, at the Union Square Greenmarket on Saturdays and Fridays. Purveyor is Ron Kipps, who also sells bison liver, ribs, strip steak, cubed meat patties, jerky, dog treats etc. Basically, every bison cut you could think of, or want.

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A brief recipe for Bull's Ball Pie. Click me.

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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We were served testicles Szechuan style many years ago at a now-defunct restaurant run by New York's best, but not best known, Chinese chef, Mr. Tsui.  It was part of an extraordinary banquet. They were quite good, but nothing to hunt out for another meal.

Pat G.

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And no, you can't really tell what they are by looking at them.

Hmmm.  They must have come with the thick outer membrane removed, I presume, otherwise it's pretty clear what they are.  Did you just get egg-shaped spongy-looking things without an outer skin?

I agree, these are delicious, mild-flavored offal items, which anyone can enjoy if they're not squeamish.  I always soak them in water with a little vinegar before cooking, which drains off some bloody residue and also firms them up a little.  The main difficulty with cooking them is that they retain a lot of moisture, so they can get a bit mushy unless sauteed pretty briskly.

I had given up any hope of finding them in New York, so thanks for the Union Square tip.

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Picked up my bison balls on Saturday - thank you, Liza.  Will be cooking them tonight or tomorrow, depending on whether the apartment is full of decorators when I get home.  Also grabbed a pack of frozen bison burgers.  Two for dinner last night.  Perhaps because they were frozen (yes, I had thawed them before cooking), they disgorged a fair amount of liquid in the first few minutes in the pan.  But once I drained that off, they browned up nicely.  They need some extra seasoning, but they were nice enough - although, I wouldn't have known they weren't good quality beef.  Ate them with a home-made tomato and onion sauce, and a side of tostones which I thought were just fine (depsite yells of derision from a Dominican back-seat chef).

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Just a few more tips on cooking the bison balls, in the event anyone feels like trying them.  The versions sold at Union Square do come ready peeled, so that saves some trouble.  The tricky thing is that these organs retain a great deal of moisture, and you can end up with a mushy result if you're not careful.  In the past, I've tried packing them with salt to draw the moisture out.  Trouble is, they seem to suck the salt in.  

My technique with the bison bits was ad hoc, but worked.  First I soaked them in water with a few drops of vinegar for about forty minutes, changing the water frequently.  At this point, they are still oozing just a little blood, so you want to keep changing the water until it isn't pink any more.  Drain them well.  Then slice them into disks, as if you're slicing boiled eggs for a salad.  Spread them out on absorbent paper, put another sheet on top and pat it down.  Leave them for a while.  You can repeat this until you get bored.  

Then soften some chopped onions in oil, with some garlic if you like, celery - whatever.   Throw your disks in and sautee them briskly.  Guess what?  More liquid leaches out.  Drain it off.  When they've changed colour and are looking a bit firmer, take them off the heat and reserve the whole mixture overnight in the fridge.  Next day?  Yes, more liquid.  Drain it off.  I gave them a final frying, checking the seasoning, and adding a little cream (some white wine or butter would have been good), for dinner on the second day.  Sprinkled some chopped parsley on top - chives or chervil would be good.  Now they came up firm, not mushy, and very tasty.  I can see the Chicken McNugget analogy, but these are really much more interesting.

Enjoy.

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