I read and accept your aversion to rolled oats, but I wonder what your well-meaning mom tried to sell you. I can't abide sweet cereals or gummy "quick oats". Nor have I tolerance for breakfasts that take more than 10 minutes.
My solution: Old fashioned rolled oats, covered with water, microwaved for 5 to ? minutes, depending on the power of your nuker, splashed with heavy cream and good sprinkle of kosher or Maldon salt.
A cousin to grits or savory porridge.