Ideas for a crazed old ugly enamel coated cast iron frying pan:
Buy a baby turtle at the circus and make a cute pond environment for it. Just don't keep it on the stove.
Make a mini rice paddy and grow rice for home consumption or artisanal gifts.
Make some crazed marbles in it and then arrange them inside it for an art project.
Hang it on the inside of the front door in case of intruders if you don't have a baseball bat. Although statistics say that heavy frying pans are most often used by the intruders against you.
Put the pans out on the street in a box that says FREE.
Learn to say no, so you can use that empty wall space (which we all agree doesn't exist in @weinoo's kitchen) to hang the turnips you got in your latest box because there's no way they will fit in the fridge.
OMG I just saw the @jimb0post! How could two people come up with such an inane idea at the same time?