A few days ago, I visited the small store downstairs from my apartment to buy a six-pack of beers, as one does. On entering, I headed straight to where my beer of choice is sensibly located in a fridge, and there it wasn't. Where my beer should have been was an imposter!
I looked around to see where some incompetent wretch may have deposited it, but to no avail. My gruntle was getting very dissed.
I went back to where my beer rightfully belonged to examine the imposter to get the details in order to lodge an offical complaint and discovered that the imposter was my beer after all. For some reason, after twenty-six years the brewery had decided to disguise it by radically redesigning the cans.
Old New
I bought my needs and went upstairs, where I decided the makeover isn't so bad after all and actually makes it easier to spot. My gruntle was assuaged.
Today, I repeated the process and bought another six pack. When I got back upstairs, I disocvered they've already altered the design again and replaced the previous non-coloured ring pulls with hideously bright red ones. But that is not the bad idea (not that it's a good one). These moronic ring pull do every except facilitate ringing or pulling.
Whereas previously you could get your finger through the ring to pull, now they have reduced the 'ring' to a 3mm slot which a new born baby could get his or her finger through.
This radical idea seems to be so that they can incorporated a tiny QR code on the damn thing for you to scan. Doing so goes to a webpage telling you that they require your personal and financial details in order to proceed. 滚开 (gǔn kāi)* ! as we say here to emphatically reject suggestions we wish to decline.
I had to get my tool kit out to open the damn cans. It is impossible by hand.
Idiots.
* 滚开 (pronounced 'goon ky' - rhyming with sky) literally means 'to boil' but in Mandarin slang is an obscenity meaning 'eff off'.
1998 refers to a special edition of this local beer, made to mark Bill Clinton's visit to Guilin, China in said year. It has since become their biggest seller. Guilin is where the brewery is situated about an hour north of me.
