Pet-caused cooking disasters

[racheld]

A few years ago, my friend Kathy and her soldier husband had invited one of the Colonels at the local base to Thanksgiving dinner, as his wife and children had gone to grandparents or somewhere else. She had asked me for a couple of recipes, turkey timing, etc., so she seemed to be all set to do a lovely dinner.

She called me late that afternoon, sounding almost in tears. "Rachel," she said, "I wanted to tell you this before you heard it from someone else---I'm just so embarrassed and I know you'll be ashamed of me."

Alarmed, I asked, "What happened??!!"---expecting to hear of raw turkey or sprouts like stones, or maybe even a disastrous spill right at dinnertime.

Her reply was, "I was cooking in the kitchen while Bill and the Colonel talked in the living room, and Popcorn (their dog) fished the GRAVY PACKET out of the garbage, chewed on it a little bit, and went in and laid it on the Colonel's SHOE!!!"

Gravy powder vs. gravy-flavored dogspit on Colonel's shoe---I think she hated talking about the former more than the latter.

[christine007]

Too funny.

My German Shep is five foot three when he's standing on his hind legs.

I had my neighbor over, and I was talking about what a wonderful dog he is, how I was training him in Shutzhund (the art of personal protection) and how loving and beautiful he was.

He came into the living room, wanting to be petted and admired, which happened, of course.

It was after she went home that I went into my bedroom for a different shirt and discovered the empty meatloaf pan. I was cooling it on the stove for the family dinner.

He didn't come in for love, he came in for praise for his ability to eat that entire sucker.

It's really hard living with a dog that's not only prettier than you, but smarter.

ETA I had a cat who would climb right on you and steal the chicken wing right out of your hand.

He was banished to the bathroom when we had wings.

Edited December 16, 2007 by christine007 (log)

[andiesenji]

When I had great danes, they were always evicted from the kitchen while any real cooking was going on, anything involving open flames, open oven doors, etc.

Occasionally one would evade the eviction notice and one episode I recall with clarity was when a wagging tail caught me right behind the knees while I was pouring split pea soup into a tureen.

I poured part of the (very thick and sticky) soup over my left hand. Fortunately, I had a bowl of ice water in the sink for blanching vegetables and stuck my hand in it immediately and kept a smaller bowl next to my place at the table.

The most annoying thing was that I had warned the kids to leave the dogs outside until after dinner but being teens, they had a problem with short-term memory.

I spent that night sleeping with my arm hanging over the edge of the bed into a bucket of ice water. No blistering, full recovery within a couple of days.

[maggiethecat]

Brand new Pets-in-the-Kitchen story. Last night, during our Sunday phone call, my daughter told me she wanted to make a pizza and asked me for my recipe. I obliged -- 30 years of Sunday night pizzas and the recipe is engraved on my brain.

Knowing she owns the KA on HGS, I told her to throw the whole batter in the bowl, insert dough hook, crank. "No, Mom, tell me about hand kneading. We have no KA attachments."

Seems she stored the paddle and dough hook in the bowl. One of her cats (I suspect Max) turnded the KA on while they were at work. She returned home late to the volume and passion of "The Anvil Chorus" and two mangled attachments.

[jbh]

Not a disaster, but I once had a cat who _loved_ buttered popcorn.

When I made a bowl of popcorn, we'd politely settle down across from each other and mow through the whole bowl, using our paws, kernel by kernel. The closest to disaster was when I didn't share quickly enough and she'd upend the whole bowl...