The Ideal Bar

[Morgan_Weber]

This thread topic might totally fold, but I'm sure people on eGullet have their opinions,

Regarding the details and minutiae, what are some of the things that you like in a bar and what are some of the things that irritate and drive you crazy?

(ie. if you were going to open your own bar, you would definitely include/exclude these details)

edited to add: We'll take for granted that the bar is serious about making great drinks...

Edited November 9, 2007 by Morgan_Weber (log)

[Nathan]

quite frankly, there are three different reasons that I go to bars and each of them requires an entirely different bar...

[weinoo]

I really like the Italian custom of offering a small bowl of nuts, olives or even mixed pretzel-y things with your drink...oh, and they always offer it with a small spoon as well. Classy.

Great ice. Cool cocktail glasses properly sized. No free-pouring (unless, of course, it's a vodka/cranberry). Glass of water with your drink. Many bitters.

And, as Nathan points out, different bars for different reasons.

[Mayur]

Girls.

What?

[Danne]

Very high standard on the bartenders. They don't have to be fast, but they have to work nice. I hate when I see the bartender handling my glas at the top. That can really destroy the whole drink.

And ofcourse, good snacks to every drink (not only peanuts). Glass of water. Not to loud. Pre-chilled glasses. And the best; A hot towel (yes the type you get on a airplane) to whipe your hands and face with so that you feel relaxed and fresh when you are starting your cocktail.

[Peter Green]

So many choices. Really, you need a bar for each mood.

Let's try one:

- competent bar staff, and this means knowing their products, and being able to recommend things I might not elsewise try. (Yukari's shochu place on soi 33 in Bangkok is a good example).

- educated bar staff. If I'm in the mood, I like a bartender who is up on current affairs, and fairly literate.

- soft lighting. Not too dark. Not too abattoir bright.

- music that doesn't intrude, but fills the background.

- a staff/customer ratio that ensures you have the amount of time you want from the staff, but they're not so bored that you're in the way of them reading a paper.

- air conditioning (if we're in the tropics)

- heating, if we're up north (fireplaces are good)

- decent food, if the munchies are upon me. But not big meal stuff. I don't want to be in a restaurant.

- local small brewery beers on tap.

That's a start. I could write in a place like that.

[mod*betty]

The first thing that comes to my mind is NO TELEVISIONS!

I was just telling someone today about one of my favorite things about the Blue Comet Bar in Glenside PA- they have 2 televisions up in the corners above the bar. Turned off. on the screen is a note- "Talk to the person next to you" --love it!

[HVRobinson]

What do I want in a bar? Wowzers! Like everybody else... several different bars. A huge mug of leave me the heck alone. A corner to hold court in. A place to practice bar magic. Someplace for cigars and port (or bourbon or ....). About 472 taps with my favorite barley wine (of the week) flowing. Someplace that does the world's greatest onion rings. A place with a jukebox that covers MY era and not the crap the kids listen to today (when did my dad channel thru me?) A real dartboard with a clear toeline and no tables in the throwing path.... and enough light to find a bounced out dart. A bathroom that doesn't feel like somebody could have died in it last night... and that it had been cleaned within the last decade or so. A real HONEST TO GOODNESS brass rail at the right angle to put your shoe on and not feel like you're climbing K2. Did I mention a place for cigars and pipes ... where you don't pollute out those who don't smoke... but can have a pint in peace without having to shiver next to the dumpster with yesterday's mildewed coleslaw fixings? At least 5 good ports that pour often enough that they're not 2 years since opening and taste severely corked. PASTIS! (Rest in peace, WineSonoma!) Tapas. A sound effects machine near the pay phone (or telephone corner) with excuse background noises (office, garage, hospital, etc) so that you can get some down time at the bar without more guilt (garage noises.... "honey- they found that bad Johnson Rod.... and will try to balance it now. I'll be home in about 3 hours....")

hvr

Edited for Bruce

Edited November 11, 2007 by HVRobinson (log)

[avant-garde]

My ideal bar would be in my house. It would be in a finished basement where I could retire after a long day at work. I would have speakers built into the walls and my iPOD would only play what I want to hear (Jazz, Wilco, Bossa Nova, '80s, etc). I would also be my own bartender, because let's face it, I know what I like. And also because I'd like to "officially" be a bartender. It would be stocked with just about every liquor I would ever need (including the hard to find items), and it would have an insane collection of Islay Scotch.

[Mayur]

But would it have girls?

Okay, going away now...

[Morgan_Weber]

But would it have girls?

Okay, going away now...

←

girls? of course there'd be girls...and good lookin ones.

[Morgan_Weber]

So what's the consensus on smoking in a more classy bar? Good or bad?

[Alchemist]

I must say I miss lighting customers cigarettes in bars. I used to carry 2 lighters so I could double fist firing up two people at the same time. It really helped with tips. But I really like not having people smoke in nice bars. And yes, I smoke. I feel the same way about a cocktail as a meal. If someone has just lit up a stinky french cigarette just as I recive my Manhattan, well there goes the nose, mine and the drinks.

But if it's 3am, and I'm drinking Miller High Life, and an attitude adjustment of Mathusalem...I kinda like having a cigarette at the same time.

And I feel better at the end of a really busy shift when the bar isn't thick with smoke. Boy moving fast for a long time in bars like M&H, or the Grange Hall, or 357. It was like running a 10k through a forest fire. My lungs would HURT. I wonder how many thousands of extra packs I've smoked working in bars for a decade before the ban came down.

So my ideal bar would have smoking sometimes. It would have great bartenders, an amazing list of spirits, awesome ice, beer with almost no flavor, the people sitting next to me would be either great story tellers with a never ending litiney of jokes, or completly into the times or a good book. There would be Zepplin and Mazzy Star playing. It would be fun and comfortable.

[Mayur]

IMO, the ideal bar should have an indoor/outdoor private back area (similar to what PDT in NY has, but slightly more elaborate) where people can smoke with drinks in hand, but where Mother Nature, rather than the bar's own HVAC system, can filter the cigarette smoke.

I happen to really hate the fact that people can't smoke and drink at the same time any more at NY bars (with a number of exceptions that I can count on one hand). I agree with Alchemist that it sucks for both bartenders and customers to be immersed in a sea of tobacco smoke willy-nilly, but having the option to smoke without standing on the sidewalk (and abandoning one's drink) would be nice.