EvergreenDan

Craig - Put Phil Ward's variation, the Final Ward, onto your to-do list. It seems to be about half way between your two faves above.

Feel free to add a third, Leslie. You could fix that by adding a third.

"Hotmixology". Um. No.

1 1/2 oz rye 1 oz Malort (Franklin) 1/4 oz Maraschino (Luxardo) 1/2 oz lemon juice (shy) Luxardo cherry Would this be a Chicago Sour? I have not had Jeppson's (and missed my chance, since I was just in Chicago). The Franklin version is not particularly harsh.

1 oz Smith & Cross 1/2 oz Bonal 1/2 oz Punt e Mes 1/2 oz Dolin dry 1/2 oz Campari Pretty great. Eeyore's Requiem meets Bitter Mai Tai?

These might be interesting to collectors. I doubt any of them are particularly wonderful to drink, and I'd guess that the sherry has gone off. The two Scotch bottles won't have changed much (if at all) for the age. The triple sec and kummel look like they have lost volume. In other words, they are way cooler to look at than drink, I'd venture.

Braggart

If your kids are over 1 or 2 years old, that's just wrong.

That's buttered stripper pole, not old gym socks. Sheesh. Some people.

Maybe freeze the syrup? If it is too thick, add some vodka. If it freezes solid, freeze into pre-measured 1/2 oz cubes. I bet they would melt instantly in the shaker/mixing glass. I make a drink with frozen Aperol/Campari and lime cubes. The juice adds just enough water so that they freeze just beyond slushy.

The bottles with the live worm are REALLY scary.

I haven't had any weird aftertaste or old sock taste (which is strangely appealing to me -- isn't that what Batavia Arrack is??), but inexpensive Calvados is like an eau de vie -- often like firewater straight. Dupont makes many expressions, varying widely in price. At least some of them are very good. You can often mix with a Calvados that you would not want to sip. Same thing for brandy/cognac.

Itchy Armpit Mono of Nucleosis

Aperol has a pretty horrific orange soda pop flavor straight, but when mixed with Campari becomes a delightful bitter grapefruit.

Luxardo amaretto is very good. Disarronno is not. Can't say about Lazzaroni.

If you were shrunk down to 1" tall, your dog would still obey you. Your cat would eat you.

Epic recipe and comment.

Iceberg vodka tastes of lettuce, I hope.

Sticky situation.

From Cheri Loughlin, the Intoxicologist: Cocktails with a Tryst Stimulating reading, I'm sure.

Midori is always in season.

Dunno. I've usually had the classic and am happy to try a twist, particularly one an unsinkable template like the Negroni. I really don't want to order a regular Negroni out. I want something that I don't make at home all the time. Fred Yarm posted an interesting observation in chwhnd to the effect that in Boston, almost all of the great bars are either in or closely associated with a restaurant. He then speculates that it may have to do with the high cost of liquor licenses. I'm of two minds. I applaud the small restaurants in attempting to have some sort of cocktail program. If they at least can make a Negroni, then I have something nice to drink. If they don't even try, then I have to settle for a pour of some boring whiskey or maybe risk a lousy Martini or Gin & Tonic. But if the bartender is really incompetent, then I agree it's best to not try. Like my "special" Manhattan that I order in mid NH, which was supposed to be with a premium bourbon, Carpano Antica, bitters, and a Luxardo cherry. What came out was vodka, something sweet and red (red-dyed cherry juice, perhaps), and a neon cherry. I sent it back and ordered a glass of Carpano, which amazingly they "just used the last of in your first drink".

Needs Midori.

Calisaya is on their list and I've never heard of it. If you go, remember that dell'Erborista is about 3-4x more expensive to buy than the others. Just sayin'.

OK, my froggy friend, you need to get a bottle of Sibilia or dell'erborista. Pronto. They way you describe your cocktails, I'm quite sure you'd love it.