So many meals...so little time. Having grown up in Fargo, North Dakota and believing well into my twenties that all vegetables grew in cans, the memories abound. My mother, for example, made the world's worst spaghetti sauce. Ground beef, canned tomatoes, and chili pepper- period. For most of my adult life, I have avidly avoided any opportunities to dine on spaghetti with anything remotely resembling red sauce. Thus, when invited to dinner, I always ask what is to be served under the guise of wondering what wine to provide. Sadly, whenever the dreaded entree was mentioned, I always managed to have a sick child or other emergency waiting in the wings. Until, that is, my 37th birthday when my best friend from college invited me to a celebratory barbecue. And it rained. Not without a plan B, she started cooking, (yes, you've guessed it) "dah, dah, dah, DUN"- the dreaded RED SAUCE FROM H_LL! I used to think my mother was the worst cook, but now my friend has totally underwhelmed me. Not only was it a meal designed to produce Fargo flashbacks, but the aftermath was equally apalling. During the cleanup, while my friend scraped the leftover spaghetti, watermelon and corn into a bowl for compost, another guest proceeded to shove every leftover salad- greens, cole slaw, tortellini and potato- into one container to eat later. And yet, the best was yet to come! My friend and I produced sons within 6 weeks of each other. Hers is organizationally challenged, to say the least. The day following the birthday bash, she reminded her beloved child that he needed to be awake, bathed and fed by the time she picked him up at noon. Sadly it was not to be. Thwarted once again, she rushed him through the bath, handed him his clothes and asked if he had eaten. Beofre he could say no, she had grabbed a bowl from the fridge, a fork from the drawer and stuffed all of them into the van. "Listen", she growled, "before I'm done with this sales call, I want this bowl empty." "But mom", he said. " Just eat it!" she demanded through clenched teeth while shoving the bowl at him. She came back to find her son clutching an empty bowl- well, almost empty, save for the few watermelon seeds and lonely corn kernals floating near the bottom. Thus ends the saga of how she fed her son compost for lunch.