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Everything posted by Fresser

  1. Thanks to the wonders of modern gastronomy, such delicacies as Bac-o-Bits and kosher "shrimp" now grace our grocery aisles. How closely these kosher foods mimic the taste of their treyf progenitors, I don't know. Still, something about them bothers me. So, with apologies to Montesquieu, I ask: do these kosher substitutes violate the Spirit of the Laws? And if kosher "shrimp" does indeed taste nasty, is this a sin in and of itself? We now return you to our less Talmudically scheduled programming.
  2. I'll have what Duck's having. On my first night in NYC, Big Mushy and Mrs. Mushy took me to the 2nd Avenue Deli. We fressed on chicken livers, corned beef and were served by an appropriately grouchy waitress.
  3. Mr. Finkelman goes into his favorite Lower East Side restaurant and sits down at the counter. A waiter comes over and sets down a bowl of soup in front of Finkelman. Finkelman peers disapprovingly at the soup and beckons to the waiter. "Waiter! Taste this soup." "Sir, is there a problem?" the waiter asks. "Taste the soup." Finkelman insists. "But what's the problem?" "Taste the soup!!" Finkelman repeats. "But Mr. Finkelman, " the waiter wails. "You've been eating here for thirty years! Has there ever been a problem with the soup?" "TASTE THE SOUP!!!" Finkelman blurts. "O.K., all right already," the waiter says. "Where's the spoon?" Finkelman shoults triumphantly "Ah-ha!!!"
  4. Stumbling through Fresh Direct's stinky cheese page yesterday, I saw the following description of Epoisses: What intrigues me about this description is that the monks see an element of divinity--at least in a metaphorical sense--in their food. Food incites passion, a fervor that can intermingle with religion. Consider all the church-related dishes and meals Southerners often serve, and religious services are often followed by communal meals. I'd like to explore this nexus of food and religion. There's an ardent (and irreverent) tradition of this religious whimsy in the Latke-Hamentaschen Symposium, where university professors mount their pulpits to extol either the latke or the hamentaschen. This debate started at the University of Chicago (where I was an undergrad) and is often moderated by a rabbi who gravely pontificates on the numerology of latke recipes as well as potatoes in the Torah. I'm not kidding. This debate has spread across the country and here are some links: http://www.mitadmissions.org/topics/life/w...s_dilemma.shtml http://wso.williams.edu/~sbrown/life/31303.html http://www-news.uchicago.edu/releases/96/961121.latke.shtml As much as Jews love food (Shaw will tell you this ), we by no means hold a monopoly on the intertwining of food and religion. Consider: Soul food. Church buffets and Sunday dinners. It's such a rich vein. Let's start mining it.
  5. You could also try the Original Pancake House at 51st and Lake Park.
  6. Try Salonika at 57th and Blackstone. Very much a Greek coffee-shop atmosphere. Also, see if Medici or any of the other joints on 57th are open for breakfast. Welcome to the U of C (I'm class of '90).
  7. When I read this, I immediately thought of Holly Moore.
  8. I've noticed the women here all crave salt. Could it be that the painful cramps that women endure are caused by low sodium content in their blood?
  9. LOL, yeah he's somewhat entertaining. Not quite as entertaining as he thinks he is but the boy sure ain't shy. ← Somewhere there lurks photographic evidence of this--right, Ronnie? Sorry I couldn't make it, Heartlanders. Eat some Zingerman's pastrami for me.
  10. Does it count if I embarrassed someone else? I was at a Halloween party years ago at a downtown Chicago restaurant. Everyone at our party was in costume, and I was dressed up as a French maid, much to the amusement of all the women present. After downing several diet Cokes, I used the restroom--the mens restroom. While I was washing up, a youngish guy walked into the restroom, saw me and shrieked. "AAAUUGHH!!" Then he bolted out of the restroom so quickly he forgot to open the door first. So I sauntered back to his group's table to reassure him he wasn't in the ladies room instead. "Hey, man," I said in my best basso profundo. "There's plenty of room in there." The poor guy had curled into a little ball and was cowering in fear, bleating, "No! Please nooooo!!!!" while his whole table convulsed with laughter. The poor chap--he'll never use a restaurant mens room again.
  11. Here in Chicago, home of Da' Bears and Da' Coach, we prefer the much more nuanced pronunciation "SAM-wich." Hope this helps.
  12. "Mouth feel" must go. I think it's a crutch for people grasping unsuccessfully for adjectives. "This (cookie, tart, persimmon, whatever) has good mouth feel."
  13. Bearnaise is typically served with filet mignon--a cut which has very little marbling and thus is definitely NOT manly. You might as well tart up a chicken breast with lemon glaze and a flowered radish to feed the caveman in your life.
  14. Boo-ha!! Broccoli is green and it's always served with a manly cut of steak. What could be more virile than eating something that looks like a miniature tree?
  15. Depends on the preparation. ← Hannibal Lecter ate fava beans. So legumes are manly.
  16. Nein, nein, nein!!! Vegetables are manly! I've been known to shovel down a pound of sauteed green beans or shredded cabbage in a sitting. Now excuse me while I go thump my chest and belch.
  17. Are you interested in visiting any divey fried chicken joints or soul food haunts, Fabby? The Fressermobile awaits!
  18. Have your sailor PM me or any of the other Heartlanders. We'll be happy to show him around town.
  19. Never before has an eGullet thread propelled me to my fridge to read a jar label... My own Miracle Whip label--yes, the same one featuring the vaunted Classic Turkey Sandwich recipe--declares that regular Miracle Whip has a mere 3 grams of fat per serving. How much lower in fat could Miracle Whip Light be?
  20. See if this helps you guess my age. I remember when gas stations only sold GASOLINE. True, this was when attendants actually pumped the gas for you, but you never thought of topping off the tank and filling the fridge at the same time. Try and find a gas station now that doesn't sell food. Just tonight, I threw a sawbuck in the Fressermobile's tank and wandered inside the gas station kiosk. A phalanx of coffee dispensers stood along the window, while an entire dairy case with milk, cheese and premade sandwiches sat along the wall. Factor in the racks of pretzels and candy bars, and you have two aisles of a grocery store where, once upon a time, you bought gas and nothing else. In fact, here's a motto for them: Fill your tank, fill your tummy!
  21. Miracle Whip was the standard tunafish fixin' when I was growing up. One of my favorite meals in the 1970's was tunafish (made with Miracle Whip, of course) served alongside Kraft macaroni & cheese. My tastebuds have matured since then--I haven't eaten the blue-box concoction in YEARS--but I still like Miracle Whip.
  22. Lawd have mercy--I top my cheddar cheese grits with stir-fried broccoli!! Is a Yankee dispensation in order?
  23. Any chance the Pizza Clubbers will include Centiole's in Girardville on the itinerary? I think Big Mushy would come out of the woodwork for this one. Centiole's Pizza 1 E Main St Girardville, PA 17935-1318 Phone: (570) 276-6368
  24. Maybe "grav-hax" is badly-spelled Swedish for "fag hag" -- hey, you said this joint was in drag, y'know ... ← Next time I'm in Philly, perhaps I should stop in dressed as my French maid alter-ego, Heather Duster. Nu, so how IS the salmon, anyway?
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