Jump to content


participating member
  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Fresser

  1. French bunion soup: Freudian slip uttered by soup-loving podiatrists.
  2. If this were a court case, the customer would receive the depreciated value of the coat, which would depend on the life-expectancy of the coat and its age. This assumes, of course, that the restaurant acted negligently. But the restaurant didn't. They offered to check her coat--she declined. She also knew (or should have considered) that she would order red wine, a liquid which can (and often DOES) stain. Let her exercise ordinary care in taking care of her coat, not just drop it over a chair near her food. Also consider that the LINING is stained--the side of the coat which is rarely seen. Were I the restaurant owner, I'd tell this self-absorbed extortionist to take her coat AND her busines elsewhere. If she wants to tell her friends, let her. We could use the publicity.
  3. Brawnschweiger: Virility-enhancing liver sausage.
  4. Melissa wins the Punning Princess award for this one! Raviaioli: Mayonnaise-stuffed pasta pockets. Gnucchi: Inferior-quality Italian dumplings.
  5. Nosh Mosh: Frenzied scene at Ratner's Sunday morning brunch.
  6. Beer Barrel Polke: Jewish version of the Chicken Dance. French Knish: Parisian potato puff-pastry.
  7. I was noshing on sardines at my desk yesterday (yes, my co-workers just LOVE me for that) when my black co-worker Freddie peeked at me and exclaimed, "Man, we used to eat those my neighborhood when I was growing up! Sardines & rice!" Other black co-workers chimed in that they loved snarfing sardines and crackers, so we yukked it up about how a nice member-of-the-tribe grew up eating the same food as two dudes from different neighborhoods. Not all the receptions have been as kind, however. One time I unwrapped a sardine sandwich on the job and my very kind Italian boss wrinkled his nose and smirked, "I use those for bait!" Everyone at lunch howled at that one. And one time at college, a roommate threatened to defenestrate me for cooking kippers and eggs in the dorm room. I'm not sure if those who disdain sardines do so because of an aversion to fish, or just because the sardine itself gets no respect. I have a Mediterranean cookbook that lists a tasty recipe for Sicilian Spaghetti with Sardines--maybe this fish is more popular among Eastern and Southern Europeans. Anyway, as someone who has never wielded a fishing pole in his life, I ask: let's hear your (canned) fish stories.
  8. Matzo bawl: Whining sound heard on the 7th day of Pesach. Often accompanied by a craving for starch. GoogleKugel: Noodle pudding consumed by internet geeks.
  9. Mind if I have a sip of your Sprite? SLLUUURRRRPPP!!
  10. Shtiklpickle: a small slice of brined cucumber. Hamentuschen: stain caused by sitting on a Purim pastry.
  11. Craplach: An urgent visit to the bathroom after eating leaden meat dumplings.
  12. I was wondering more why the chicken was standing there motionless with a chef running at him with an axe? The I realized: He's trying to figure out how come he's still alive, but has somewhere along the line already been plucked.... ← You must mean this charming signage: Said bird must realize his impending doom. Danger, I think, was as much a part of the Harold's experience as barbecue sauce. When I used to eat at Harold's, most of the Shacks were located in decidedly dicey neighborhoods--hence the bulletproof glass and teller's cages. One feat of drunken derring-doo involved crossing 60th Street (the southern border of the U of Chicago campus) and visiting the Harold's at 63rd and University. I knew students who would make the pilgrimage there at 2 A.M. when the 53rd Street Harold's had closed. They returned with many interesting stories to tell.
  13. Mama Fresser and I baked many a frozen Chicken Kiev during the 80's. I still remember the faux-butter filling oozing out from the Kiev onto our trusty cookie sheet. And who can forget Bartles and Jaymes? During my (relatively) hard-drinking days, I would wash down food from Harold's Chicken Shack with a peach wine cooler.
  14. Das ist meshugee!! Seriously, does ANYBODY mix cheese into the sacred salami-undt-eggs mixture? Du bist farikt, mein Jack!
  15. Inquiring minds want to know, Blovie: Do you saute the salami in discs or do you chop it into chunks and saute it in garlic powder? And the next time I'm in NYC, do I get to don my toque and cook for Blovie and Company?
  16. Harold's just opened a new store in the Wicker Park neighborhood of Chicago. Wicker Park is similar in character to NYC's Greenwich Village, as well as being uncharted territory for Harold's. So I stopped in to scope out the store and suck up the ambience. The signature bulletproof glass is nowhere to be found here, althought the rest of the restaurant is typically spare. Next time the hunger pangs strike, I'll head into the Wicker Park Harold's for a plate of livers and report back on my experience.
  17. Chunks? Oy gevalt. ← Years ago during Succot, I whipped up salami omelettes for 40 guests in my wacky Moroccan rabbi's kitchen. Once the rabbi's mother overcame her indignance at a man invading her kitchen , she happily joined in as we diced about three foot-long salamis. The scent of garlic was in the air as I whipped up omelettes one-by-one for his guests, who topped their omelettes with dijon mustard and dined in the sukkah.
  18. Perlman wields a mean fiddle but I disagree with his salami-frying technique. He would cut the salami into discs and fry them on each side. I much prefer to dice the salami into chunks, thus exposing more fry-worthy surface area. Back on topic, my father left most of the cooking to Mama Fresser, just like most men of the generation. I learned to cook at the foot (and later elbow) of Mama Fresser, and I like to season the fry-pan with garlic powder while sauteeing salami for an omelette.
  19. Greens are as foreign to the typical Yankee as grits are. Which is a shame, considering how I love spinach and other green leafy vegetables. How should I, as a greens newbie, prepare them? Would I cook them in a manner similar to spinach, which I love sauteed with garlic and lemon?
  20. BubbleheadChef's thread on Submarine Cuisine comes close. Of course, Bubblehead did have a more captive audience.
  21. There are not a lot of options along Madison Avenue. 1.Do not go to 'One Fish Two Fish', you may eat, get food poisoning, and die. 2. Hanrattys...A burger joint with half way decent salads, Mad. between 97th & 98th. 3. Satchi...A reasonably decent sushi bar, not cheap, Mad. between 95th &94th. 4. Mexican joint on 97th between Mad. & Park. Street food, not low carb but good. Maybe she can find something, like fajitas w/o the tortillas. More choices on Lexington, but is's a hike and tends to be Hispanic (i.e. high carb). ← Wouldn't a deli fit the bill? You could get a meat plate (turkey, pastrami and whatnot) with veggies on the side and forgo the rye bread.
  22. I stand with Fat Guy on this principle. Anyone who says, "I deem this rule of kashruth to be impertinent to me, therefore it does not apply" is a Jewish solipsist. Jackal's quote from the Reform movement says this explicitly: Here's a news flash: laws (religious or otherwise) are not written to IMPRESS individuals; they're here to guide one's actions, or, in some cases, prohibit them.
  23. Soy Pepperoni: Now You Can Have Your Treyf and Eat It Too! Somebody stop me!!
  24. Pow! This implied "dairyness" is why I always thought it was such a mortal sin to put mayonnaise on a corned beef sandwich. Once during lunch at a Hillel house, shivers went up my spine when a lunch-mate squirted mayonnaise on his roast beef sandwich. He looked at me quizzically and said, "What's the matter? Mayo is parve (neither meat nor dairy)." This is a red herring*, given that online media and discussion boards are barely ten years old. Information is spread much more efficiently now than in the nascent days of noshing. Not that there's anything wrong with herring.
  • Create New...