Jaymes

I lived in Panama for four years. Also a very big ceviche country. They use corvina and marinate it much longer. Sometimes even overnight. I like it that way, as do the rest of the Panamanians. Served with a wedge of lime, a bottle of additional hot sauce, and saltines, of course. I guess what's "right" and what's "wrong" is all in what you're used to. And what's "good" and what's "bad" is all a matter of personal taste. We all get to do it however we like. And that makes for a pretty grand ol' world, I think.

I don't think anyone is arguing that, under our current system anyway, servers shouldn't be well-tipped. I'm pretty sure we all agree that they should be. I certainly do. I think the issue being discussed here is what is the proper behavior when a server doesn't receive the tip they think they deserve. I think that like any job, when things don't go as you'd like, rather than be rude and confrontational, you keep smiling, keep working, take the good with the bad, and hope for better next time. And as soon as you decide that the bad outweighs the good, find another line of work.

I think classes are a very good idea. I know that a lot of baby boomers are just now retiring, and looking for new hobbies and things to do. Many were not really that interested in cooking as a hobby, having busy lives and just trying to get food on the table. But now that they've got time on their hands, they're attending all kinds of classes. I don't think you can go wrong.

This is absolutely correct. It IS voluntary. And the restauranteurs are the ones in charge. They created this system. Anytime they don't like it, they can change it. But until they do, it IS UP TO THE CUSTOMER how much to tip. People that don't like it should either figure out a way to change the system or go find another line of work. And I speak as someone that has waited tables, and had three children, all of whom also waited tables at one time or another. It's not the customers' job to set your restaurant's policy. It's the restaurant's job to set policy and the customer's job to follow it. And right now, a tip is "voluntary," which means voluntary. And as long as it is voluntary, sometimes it's going to be a nice big fat tip. And sometimes it ain't. You don't like it? You want 20% all the time? Then institute a service charge so that the policy is clear. I can tell you that in the restaurants where I and my kids worked, every time management said they were going to have a flat service charge, the waitstaff said they didn't want one. They were afraid, and probably rightly, that the big fat tips would disappear and that the net result would be a lower overall income. I guess taking the good part of any job for granted, and grumbling about the drawbacks is just human nature. But chasing customers out into the street? Unforgiveable. Let me ask you this. Have you ever been given a really big tip that you honestly didn't think you particularly deserved? Maybe they were drunk. Maybe they were flirty. Maybe it was their birthday and they were feeling generous. But you really did nothing above and beyond your usual standard of service in order to "deserve" such a large tip. Tell me, did you manage to resist the urge to follow the customer out onto the sidewalk and return some of it?

Let me assure you that if anyone chased my dad out onto the street and harangued him for a bigger tip, it's the staff that would get an "education."

I freeze meals for my dad. In addition to the obvious - soups, stews, braises, casseroles (like lasagna), it's a huge help for Dad if I freeze small portions of meats. He likes ham, so I cook our family's favorite recipe and then cut it into filets and freeze them. He can defrost one and use it for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Seems to work well. One thing I'm doing for him is making up a big pot of beef stew, and then taking out some for the baggies before I add the potatoes. I've found that reheating frozen potatoes doesn't work well at all. So he'll take out the bag of stew and heat it up. Then cut up one potato and cook it in the microwave in a little of the stew broth.

Speaking just for myself and what matters to me, having the mains consistently arrive at differing times because that's what's most convenient for the kitchen would result in me never patronizing that restaurant. And I'm sure I'm not alone, so I think the costs of doing it that way would be far greater in the long run. There's nothing ruder than enjoying your meal while your tablemates sit there watching you, with nothing in front of them. And conversely, there's nothing more annoying than watching your expensive dinner get cold because the kitchen can't get its act together.

Yes, and also ask if they have any spoilage they'd like to get rid of. Last summer, I got three big bags of absolutely delicious corn, free. Each ear had a worm or two, so the farmer couldn't sell them. But those little critters were easy to chop off.

Great job. Almost like we're there with you and mum!

My daughter and her husband both have very demanding jobs, and a newborn, but enjoy cooking, eating, and their time in the kitchen together. They often use this book: Jacques Pepin - Fast Food My Way Perhaps having some inspirational resources such as this one convenient and handy to turn to would be a help.

Can you link to it? I'm google retarded right now. Quickest, easiest, tastiest pasta dish; what's yours?

Yes, and that's the obvious answer, isn't it? Get help. And maybe that will work out. However, from what you've said, and speaking from my own experience, if it were that easy to "get help," I wouldn't have been in that predicament. I had a husband that, kind of like what you said in your initial post, didn't think it was worth all that trouble, certainly not to him anyway, and never lifted a finger to help, other than occasionally volunteering to pick up pizza or Chinese or Chili's Babyback Ribs on the way home. Asking him for help usually just resulted in an argument with me explaining why it mattered to me to have home-cooked meals for him, our three kids, and myself. And that just made me feel less like it was "worth it." He couldn't help with prep because he was "tired and wanted to relax." And cleanup? "Why should I help when, if we got pizza like I wanted, we could just toss everything." I hope your situation is different. I hope that explaining that it matters to you will cause your partner to cheerfully pitch in. That didn't work for me. But I'll tell you now that my children, two boys and a girl, all grew up to be wonderful cooks, interested, involved, one even in the restaurant business. And they're continuing the tradition with their children. Oh yes, it sure was "worth it." And now I'm a happy grandmother, having jettisoned along the way the jerk that didn't understand, called me foolish, wouldn't help. It's interesting to me that in the end, we each got what we wanted. I and my kids are still enjoying delicious, nutritious, imaginative homemade meals that we often have the fun of cooking together. And the jerk is still eating takeout pizza.

Not to mention knowing the difference between "it's" and "its." Ah well. I guess the quality of the schools in the UK is as poor as in the US. Small comfort.

One thing I discovered while raising my family of five is that the thing that takes the longest is the main dish. In my big family, that was usually meat. So on Sunday afternoons, I'd cook a couple of meats - maybe a ham, a nice roast, perhaps one casserole, lasagna, meatloaf, roast chicken or a turkey half, stuffed cabbage, stew, ribs & kraut, things like that. Things that are filling and keep well. If you've got the main taken care of, it's not really that much of a hassle to saute a fresh veggie dish or toss an interesting salad or make a starch - rice or pasta or potatoes or bread - if we wanted one. And for me anyway, it really reduced the stress to know that the main was taken care of. I was actually pretty cheerful thinking about which vegetables looked good in the market, and what sort of salad would best compliment the meal. It put the joy back into cooking. And it was also much easier to prepare one main during the week that doesn't do so well as a left-over, such as fish or steaks.

Ah yes. And also, how many hilarious and even bad memories are made around the family dining table. No wonder it's the star in so many movies, eh?

The Gift of Southern Cooking

Yeah, me, too. Talk about a classic. For decades, nobody got married in the south without getting a copy of "River Roads" as a present.

Wow. Who knew how badly I need to go to Estonia?

What a beautiful place. I love your travelogues. Thanks.

Jaymes, I found this on a web search: Brennan's Onion Soup Does it look like the recipe you remember? ← Yep. Thanks!

Wow, I'll say it's "not my mama's." And I'd never have tried it if not for your recommendation, and the fact that I note it's got all those great reviews. I'll have to give it a go at our next potluck.

Over the years, I've found the recipe in the Brennan's cookbook to be a favorite. I'd post it, except that the book is packed away in anticipation of an impending move, and I'd link to it, except that I tried to find a link and couldn't. But it's wonderful. Very rich and satisfying.

I've never seen it in the south without meringue, either. And generations and generations of potluckers and thousands and thousands of church-supper-goers seem to have survived just fine.

We usually serve soupy beans in a bowl with a spoon. That way the broth gets eaten along with the beans.

Be sure to let the plastic wrap rest on top of the pudding as CaliP says, with no air between, like you do guacamole, to prevent the top from developing a skin.