arielle

Um, wow! Thank's for the story - I wasn't actually demanding such a detailed response, but THANK YOU, for two reasons: it was a great read; but also so honest in the difficulties that you had. As I've said before, few people are willing to put themselves out there like that. I really admire your courage, both in life, and also in your posting here. Some people need a lesson in that. To my mind, you are the sort of mentor, avant-garde(ist) that women need as rolemodels today. I'm very grateful to have had the chance to discuss something as important as this issue.

Marlene, I can't give you suggestions as I know less than nothing about Philadelphia (except that it's the name of a film! ), but I was curious as to whether it is a goal to showcase "Canadian" food, wine etc. I know that you said that Canadian beer was a must, but what about the others......and if so, what would you choose? Elk? Moose? Beaver? Seriously. I am a transplantee here in TO, and I've been wondering what 'real' Canadian food is - excepting Maple Syrup of course .

Giddeeyup! On a more serious note, how do you feel about the loves to cook/to feed others angle that sinclair and emilymarie and chefette were talking about? I know that you said that you fell into the industry by accident, but were you in love with cooking, passionate, or even obsessive, as Wendy (sinclair) said? If so, did you find that you became somewhat disillusioned? - you said that the more advanced you became in the hierarchy, the less time you were able to spend in the kitchen, the more time you had to do management/bureaucratic functions...?

most?

Oh Karen, I agree with you, I was just taking the proverbial.... I think that there's plenty of racism, sexism, homophobia to go around out there, and I don't want to contributed by becoming some embittered, militant feminist who destroys her capacity to do good and to be successful by poisoning her mind and wasting her time being uselessly angry. I agree with the teachings of the Dalai Lama, who states (in a nutshell) that the best way to live your life is to understand when you are being hurt, but to be sufficiently self-aware and controlled to respond to the hurt in a constructive way; trying to hurt that person back will not solve your problem, and if you are a consciencious, sentient being, such retaliation will only hurt you more...... Having said that, I can laugh at myself, and I think others should too.....so I inflict this humour upon them on a regular basis. SOE-PA: patience; tolerance; forbearance (in Tibetan)

QUOTE(Daniel Rogov @ Oct 19 2004, 11:49 PM) (d) I'll take just a wee bit of umbrage in your charge that all of us male food writers fail to recognize greatness when it is produced by a woman. First of all, let's keep in mind that some of the most influential food writers and critics of the late 20th and early 21st century are women. Quoting Boris-A's response to Rogov: "Daniel, in an earlier post I tried to show that this cirsumstance unfortunately doesn't necessarily mean that these women are less proned to dismiss the due credit to the work of women. In my example, sadly au contraire. " Daniel - Karen and I have both expressed our disappointment with the relatively negative attitudes of a lot of women when it comes to interaction with someone (another woman) perceived as having more status. I find that for men competition is often a healthy, fun way of living and working, and that at the end of the week two male 'rivals' can go and share a beer.......unfortunately, many women are not like that, they involve the personal with the professional. Personally, I don't think that it matters if you don't like the people you work with, as long as you respect their work ethic and feel that they are good at what they do. Men are usually better at doing this than women, hence a few friends of mine who did their apprenticeships under chefs who would regularly abuse them both verbally and physically (one chef grabbed his apprentice's hand and pushed it palm down onto the flat-top whilst it was on! and then made him work out his shift before letting him go to the hospital to treat the burn) and they were willing to put up with that sort of treatment. Most women I know would not be ready to deal with that. Actually, I think that the abuse factor is a very important one for us, because most women I know were raised to stand up for themselves, or to remove themselves from situations in which abuse may have been a risk. We were brought up to know that no man or other person had the right to hit us, or to abuse us in any way etc etc......so now we aren't willing to stand for it in any situation......What do you ladies think about this? Quoting Carrot Top: "Woman - I think this can be figured out." Karen - Come on, you should have put the definition in just to help the poor blokes out there - you know, the ones who think that it's actually WOMAN: inflatable companion to MAN (n. see defn. in M); displays tendency to open mouth like this , prefers lying down lith legs and arms akimbo. Intellectually is vastly inferior to MAN.

A carnivore.

Nice..... But I'm sorry - she doesn't eat vegetables....????!!!!!! With all due respect to her, unless she has some sort of digestive issues that make the consumption of these impossible........WTF is wrong with this woman!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?

Carolyn - I'm very sorry for your loss.

Michael, I don't know what you have encountered, but there are documented cases of anorexia dating several hundred years back in European culture - that is to say, not a society that encouraged women to be thin......I understand that you have leved ina culture where it does not seem to be a problem, but I would ask you whether or not this was not simply a matter of it being something that was not to be discussed......Even living in a 'western' society that is supposedly far more accepting of eating disorders, I know of several women who are either anorexic or bulemic and who felt humiliated at the thought that their families may even have suspected......and we're suppesedly tolerant of this sort of thing. To my mind, the restaurant's concept is great. Do I think that it'll work? - no. But I'd like to think that it may help the plight of those suffering from bulemia and anorexia......

And does Whole Foods (same as Nth American chain?) sell other forms of meat? Are they convinced that the methods of raising and slaughter of these animals occurs in a way that is somehow more humane than the slaughter of kangaroos? To be honest, I don't know what the major source for kangaroo meat is (ie: just where the 'roos are living and how they are killed) but at times there is a major problem with overpopulation of the wild animals, and they have to be culled. And as one of my friends said once: it's actually less humane to eat free-range and organic stuff and avoid the battery hens etc because you're killing the *happy* animals!!!!

I don't know if I should laugh or cry about the situation of women in Israel - laugh, because this is happening in a supposedly democratic, non-sexist society that constantly complains of the prejudice of others that they have been subjected to for the last few millennia; cry because I hate to see anyone living in such a repressive atmosphere. I can attest to the difficulty of owning a restaurant on a shoestring budget. We have our own little place, that we purchased from the previous owner. There were so many extra costs that we simply didn't anticipate (and we did do a lot of planning, and I've been in the industry since I started at University - about 9 years, and my husband for 15 years, so we knew most of what we were getting ourselves into), and it *is* very difficult to get through when you don't have a trust fund or some such backup as Karen said. But you just have to keep working hard and hope that you'll succeed.

QUOTING MELISSA: Ability is a combination of aptitude and intellect ... ain't that the all time truth?! HELL YEAH! (and willingness to use a little elbow grease! )

Do you think that only new restaurants 'deserve' (?) to be reviewed? If that is the case, then many, many reviews by Richler and others are "yesterday's news"....

Okay, so this is a little OT because it's not about women as top chefs, or even women working in kitchens at all, but I think that it's relevent, particularly considering Wendy's comment about women 'drawing in the weak' in order to support their own points of view. I think that it's relatively obvious that the women who have posted in this thread have all encountered some level of resistence to their efforts to succeed in their chosen professions, whether or not it was because they were women. But we have all managed to work hard and get through this in order to do well. What bothers me the most is that I often see other women, not men, being the ones trying to make it harder for us. When I was in 2nd year Law, I clerked over Summer at a local firm. I was treated with respect and equality by the male and female lawyers there, who, after having seen that I did work hard and that I did work well, entrusted me with some pretty serious work. The female support staff tried to cut me down at every opportunity, something I found extremely disappointing. There was one other girl clerk, and two guys, and the guys found that everything was great: the secretaries and assistants helped them. For the other girl and for me, we could never use the photocopier, we could never get any help in researching something.....etc etc. And these girls were horrid gossips, and would try to criticise us constantly regarding our dress, behaviour etc. It was simply disappointing to see that some women cannot look beyond their own noses and realise that we should all be supporting one-another, not trying to make it harder.... Mes deux centimes!

F*@k yeah!!!!!!! Now that's what I'm talking about!

Liz, I'm soooo jealous of your setup, it sounds beautiful. I love antique furniture, especially quirky things. re: your friend's stash above the stove; if they have another place to put it, I would recommend that because heat has a bad way of screwing with booze, especially wine. Our wine is stored in old wooden wine boxes on the floor of our passage (it has french doors, so they're lined up behind the doors.....) I really want a wine fridge, but they're sooo expensive... (one day Santa's gonna help me out here!

Nice!

Skippy's friends were the envy of many an Aussie kid! Who wouldn't want a kangaroo that would 'hop to' when called? Nicole Kidman's career began around the same time, on a kid's show called "BMX Bandits" (I think - anyone who can verify this?)

The Press Club: the icons indicating "ladies'" or "gent's" are coloured, backlit glass sculptures of the sexes respective genitalia! Quite a surprise the first time you go there! XX/XY (a gay bar) has the circle-arrow, circle-cross designation for the washrooms. A great idea......except they really *are* unisex, and I've seen a few straights freak out a little at that...wimps! (By the way, I am a female married to a male, so I'm not prejudiced against heteros! )

I hope you don't mean that he is thrusting his pelvis into his dishes! Eeww!

WHAT THE?! I don't know *how* I missed that! But yeah, there are lots of people in Aust. who think that it's weird to be eating an animal that is 1/2 of the national emblem......but then again, you can also eat emu (it tends to be on the tougher side, I'd recommend that it be marinated or braised), and that's the other 1/2! So it's not really so very weird after all! I wouldn't call kangaroo a "mainstream" food yet, but it is becoming more common, especially in restaurants, as are other 'bush' foods like crocodile. I like it, but then I *do* have what my husband calls "a touch of the madness"

I've never really understood the cachet of the abusive Maitre d' - why oh why do people fall for the old "he treats us like shit, so this place *must* be cool" thing? In answer to GG's question, YES, the Maitre d' or host or hostess can "make or break" your place. Of course it depends on the restaurant......but I know of a certain place where the host has upped their profits phenomenally just by 'seating' the room better, allowing tables to be turned.....it's hard work for both FOH and BOH, but there's more money for everyone. And *that* makes the world go round! By the way, I think the whole "celebrity" thing is a little overboard, don't you? It's kind of like being famous in a Paris Hilton way.

I think that part of it is women's motivation and how that is effected by society's attitudes: 1) be it a prejudice that we aren't suited to the top job; and 2) that being a cook or a chef is not a status job (I mean, for a lot of women, especially those raised by feminist mums, the idea of "cooking" was horrifying. When I was a kid, I steadfastedly refused to learn how to cook, or clean, or wash and iron my clothes, etc. Then my Mum said to me when I was 17 "How will you ever be a strong, independent woman if you can't take care of yourself?" I graduated one week later, and that Summer I taught myself how to cook. I love it now!) so that we were being urged by others to become doctors and lawyers - I've been working my butt off in restaurants to pay my way through law school, sometimes I just want to be a poet [but there's no money in that, right, and the status is at best a little dubious. You know, they're all opium smokers, or absinthe swillers ] - just like Karen said about her Mum who was too busy getting her PhDs to raise a daughter.....chef is not a title we are taught to aspire to. And, of course, there is always the simple lack of precedent in that there have never been as many women in professional kitchens as men, and therefor not as many women who can be examples to both man and women that it is possible for women to reach the pinnacle of the profession. KAREN! Egads! I don't know what to say. You must be a very, very strong woman. I wish you the best of happiness.