liuzhou

I can't decide if this is funny or brilliant or both. Recipe graffiti found somewhere in England.

This morning, I came up with a cracking new breakfast idea that has probably never been tried before. I cracked an egg into a bowl, brought some H²O to 100ºC, then turned off the heat. Used whisk to create a vortex in the sub-boiling H²O and dropped in the egg. After a couple of minutes, I fished out the said egg and plopped it onto a half of one of my favourite flat bread buns. The egg looks fully set, but there is an orgasmic joy when you cut into it and the yolk rushes out to moisten your bread. You may, at this point add salt and pepper or condiment of you choosing. A splash of whisky works well. I have decided to call it a poached egg. I hereby enter this nomenclature into the public domain as a service to the eG membership. It should, of course, be served with a mug of strong black coffee or preferably a bottle of champagne. Or both. Choice of national flag is optional. Choice of egg source is also optional. I used duck, but quail, pigeon, chicken, turtle, penguin, goose, emu and panda are all acceptable. This recipe feeds one. It may be repeated as necessitated by numbers or appetite, but I insist on one bottle of champagne per egg. You know it makes sense.

I wasn't unhappy with it, either. But then I'd crave your Yorkie!

I've had no internet connection for three days, but I have had breakfasts. Rice flour pasta rolls with seafood. (卷筒粉 juǎn tǒng fěn) Rice noodles with Conch meat Roujiamo

Liuzhou Luosifen This is the city's signature dish. Snail soup with rice noodles, pickled bamboo, peanuts, chilli and more. The link above is for a tentative recipe.

At 1 a.m. on Thursday morning, an unexpected, sudden, violent tropical storm struck the city and killed my optical fibre internet connection right at the start of a three-day public holiday (Qing Ming (link to somewhat inaccurate Wikipedia description)). So, I couldn't immediately get it restored. I finally got it re-connected today. It took the China Telecom guy three hours. The tropical storm also wiped out the long planned visit from my young friends from out of town. We are rescheduling. In the meantime, I have been cooking and eating. I'd already bought the oysters one friend wanted to taste with lemon. She couldn't make it, so I had to eat them myself! What a tragedy. La zi ji (辣子鸡 là zi jī), wo wo tou buns (窝窝头 wō wō tóu) stuffed with pork and Hunan pickled vegetables, salt-baked fish. Shiitake, asparagus and peanut sprouts.

I haven't posted any dinners for a couple of days for the simple reason that I haven't had any. I have eaten but it's been meal-ettes while on the run between increasingly pointless meetings. Anyway, got back home this afternoon and took a deep breath. Still a bit of a thrown together repast, but one of my own choosing and cooking. Pork with black fermented beans, chilli, garlic, ginger with scallions and sesame oil. Stir fried bitter chrysanthemum greens (苦菊 kǔ jú) and rice. The next three days are a major public holiday here so more cooking should occur, especially tomorrow when I am required to entertain two (or maybe three) young Chinese friends for the day and all its meals. Then Monday I'm off on a two week business trip around southern China and Vietnam.

Exactly. I agree with everything you say, although I do have a few Chinese friends and colleagues who, like me, don't particularly care for soft skin. One close friend's mother, now sadly departed*, always liked to sit beside me at dinner and grab the bits of skin I discarded. In exchange she would give me the white meat, which she thought worthless**. It became a family joke. And yes, everything on the bone. I prefer that, too. I've never seen the show nor wanted to, but the guy does sound a bit of a dick. * The departure was not at all chicken skin related. ** It's not my favourite. I'm a leg man. But not worthless. I mean the white meat is not worthless; I may be.

Sorry, I've drawn a blank, but I am going to Vietnam later this month, so will continue to ask.

Take wine. If they think your choice is less than "perfect", then they might not serve it which is OK, but if they are reasonably reasonable people will appreciate the thought (and drink it when no one is looking). If not, you probably don't want to make friends there anyway! It's a dinner invite, not a life changing exam. Relax. Five years from now you will be laughing at yourself for worrying about nothing.. Or you could just call them and say you really want to bring something, then they will demur, but insist and ask what they would like. Etiquette is largely nonsense invented hundreds of years ago by very uptight people. Flow with the go!

Yes. I love both, but the green are special. Nice looking laziji. I am planning some on Wednesday.

Good suggestions, but they have specifically requested that they have everything exactly as in the photographs they saw. I think I'll do a three parts, three meals in one dinner. Breakfast (egg), lunch (oysters) and dinner (something Sichuan - maybe not mapo tofu). They'll be happy with anything!

On Thursday next, two (or maybe three) young Chinese friends are coming to see me. They have never been to my city before and very politely asked me to entertain them for the day, which I am more than happy to do. Apart from visiting some must-see spots in town, they have also asked that a) Take them to the best place for the local, legendary speciality,- luosifen or snail noodles, for lunch b) Cook them dinner. Of course I am happy to do so, but they have made a few specific requests. i) They want to taste and perhaps learn the art of poached eggs. Poached eggs are unknown to most Chinese people and they barely believe it's possible. My friends just saw a picture of one I made a few months back. ii) They want raw oysters with lemon juice. This is particularly brave. Most locals consider eating anything raw utterly foolhardy, but raw oysters are beyond comprehension! I mentioned a while back that that was the only sensible way to eat them and they thought I was joking, but finally realised I was serious. So, bless them, they have decided to try. iii) They want a real hamburger and fries as opposed to a McD's iv) They want some Sichuan food Now, I'm comfortable with all the above, but together? Poached egg, raw oysters, burger, fries and mapo tofu, anyone? I'm going to have to put my thinking head on. In the meantime, I am still eating. Tonight, I messed about and came up with a sort of ravioli which would have every Italian mama rolling in her grave or send her there if she hadn't already departed. A somewhat Chinese stuffing of pork, shiitake and garlic chives. I served these (and more) with a long slow-cooked fresh tomato sauce. I totally forgot to photograph the finished dish. Too busy thinking about poached eggs with oysters. Then, Mulberries with home made yoghurt. I may well serve my friends that, too. They have no idea that yoghurt isn't thin, sweet industrial effluent.

I can't believe it. I had a meeting this afternoon with someone in an area of town that I don't know well, so we arranged for someone to come to meet me and lead me to where I should be. The most convenient place to meet and one that I did know was outside a branch of McDonald's. Not that I ever ventured inside. Anyway, I was 5 minutes early for the rendezvous and spent my wait scrutinising the promotional gunk on the windows. Which is when I saw this - The idiots have only gone and tried to introduce their American Sichuan sauce to China! The locals, by all reports, are deeply unimpressed. Where is the chilli and peppercorn! It tastes like Japanese teriyaki sauce! They also offer two other flavours, supposedly Sichuanese. Sweet and sour and Gongbao (Kungpo) flavor. Sweet and sour isn't a Sichuan flavour and Gongbao again needs chilli which is absent. I'm told they also offer hamburgers in which taste is absent.

This one? Yes, I sort of see a bat. But actually it gets its name from something quite different. The spatchcocked chicken is considered to resemble a pipa, a four stringed Chinese musical instrument. This image is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license. Nancheng is just the name of the supermarket chain. I agree, more batty than pipa-like, but ultimately more like a spatchcocked chicken.

Prices for everything except the luo han guo and the turkey legs are per 500 grams, equal to 1.1 pounds. The other two give the price each.

My Easter egg.

This weeks bargains in the local supermarket. I've added translations. Click on the images to enlarge. The exchange rate as of now is 1元 = 16 cents US.

Unapologetic liver and onions liver and onions. OK I couldn't resist a Chinese twist and marinated the pig liver* in Shaoxing wine for a bit. With simple boiled new potatoes and quick stir fried spinach. The liver was saucier than it appears. I've met people like that! * Yes @Anna N I'd prefer calves' liver or lambs' liver, too, but it seems Chinese cattle and sheep are born already adult. I've never seen anything other than beef, pork or chicken liver here. With pork liver being ubiquitous. I can buy goose or duck liver if I re-mortgage my home and all my friends.

Yes, and please don't just repeat "the USA". It's a big place and as you seem to be averse to online shopping, then it is reasonable to suppose you are also not interested in mail order, as it's the same thing really. And should you happen to be in, say Florida and I know that one shop in Alaska, I guess you ain't going to get on your bicycle and go there to pick it up personally!

I meant geographically where?

More soupy noodles. This time red-cooked tofu (红烧豆腐 hóng shāo dòu fǔ), fresh shiitake mushrooms and spinach in a chicken stock with fresh ramen noodles. Chilli and white pepper for kick. Red-cooked Tofu Noodles without broth Noodles with broth

Stores where?

Well my friend enjoyed. I'm a long way from Copenhagen and chocolate-less. Easter-less too