Milk & Honey

[Simon Majumdar]

In a moment of internet madness we joined this "club" in London just on Broadwick St.  We had thought it would be interesting as it was being run by the Match Bar Group, consistently the best provider of cocktails in London and it was being overseen by Dale DeGroff who is the main man in NY and this bar is the sister bar of one of the same name in Manhattan

I liked the idea that you had to book ahead as this meant

a) You would get a table

b) You would be spared the plethora of shiny suited oiks who populate Soho in the evening.

The bar itself has had what they call a "silent" opening.  Almost no publicity except for that about the nature of a silent opening

Arriving at the correct address, we were unsure if the plain black frontage ( no signs at all ) was the right place, but despite the fact it could have been The Soho Spankorama, we went it.

Inside we were "greeted" by two waifs who has the brains of your average soap dish.  Not only did it take them a good ten minutes to find the name Majumdar on the list ( not hard to spot I would have thought, it is not exactly Smith ) but then we were informed that the table we had been allocated "does in fact not exist, but we have a ledge you could lean against"

Insisting, slightfully forcefully that we had not paid all that money to join a club to "lean against a ledge" we were begrudgingly shown to a seat in the basement and told that we could have it for half an hour.  How gracious.

The decor was meant to be louche New orleans Style.  It looked more like the inside of a tart's handbag.  The music was described on their blurb as "cool, unobtrusive jazz" I think.  It was in fact blaring loud and I am pretty sure that it was "Hats off to Barry Manilow" on the night we were there.

A twenty minute wait followed before we were offered and brought two competently made free cocktails.  Free food was also on offer which comprised some pretty dodgy looking oysters and a few half decent prawns on a sorry bed of lettuce.

Gradually the place began to fill up and we were surrounded by chattering people.  All fine, until it dawned on us that they were almost to a person all employees of the Match Bar Group.  Now I am not sure if this is just me, but being bumped from a table because the rest of it was full of staff members who had ( I assume ) not paid for membership is a bit arse over tit.  If they wanted a place for their staff to hang out, then open a staff canteen, don't have it funded by mug punters.

We had one more competent cocktail ( thank the lord for the training methods of Dick Bradsall ) and left.  Their was a queue at the door of shiny suited types who were being told " this is a member's bar, but you can come in if you don't mind perching against a ledge"

The club had its rules up on the wall by the entrance.

No Noise

No males to Approach Females

etc etc

Perhaps, in our case they should have added

NO RETURNING

1/10 singularly the worst place I have been to in London for a long time.  The point is for the half decent Martini.

S

[Tonyfinch]

How much did you pay for the privelge of joining such a club?

[Charlene Leonard]

I have been following the PR of this bar with some interest.  To begin with they weren't going to reveal the address (apparently that's how it works in the NY one) so it would only be open to those 'in the know'.  however a few weeks later the address was there for all to see in ES Mag and The FT's mag.  maybe they decided they didn't want it to be *that* exclusive....  however the philosophy behind it appealed to me and even I was considering forking out the £180 to join.  This is a real shame - are you going to mention anything to them, or give it another go?

[Simon Majumdar]

I can only tell you that from that experience, they seemed as if they would not be too bothered what anyone thought.

I have to 'fess that I did not stump up the cash, Rob did, but I am hard pressed to think of there being enough hot needles on earth in the world that they could stick in my eyes to make me want to go back there

S

[Thomas Secor]

Do you know their hours?  Unfortunately, I have reached the point where I would willingly beg for hot needles in my eyes, if I could find a place in Soho/Bloomsbury/Fitzrovia that:

a.  stayed open past 1;

b.  made good drinks;

c.  did not require me to wait in line with a bunch of knuckleheads;

d.  did not require me to pay an initial fee with the membership (as I may not be in this town forever, I would prefer to pay as I go);

e.  did not require me to pay much in excess of 250 pounds per year; and

f.  of course the kicker, would accept me.

I just want a place to drink late with friends without a hassle, I do not need all the other accoutrements of a "members club".  It seems that should not be hard to find, but alas....

Any thoughts?

[Tonyfinch]

Yeah. Its called home.

[rmajumdar]

Well, since it was my dosh I suppose I should set the record straight (Simon's post was as always a mixture of truth, fiction and the just the plain bizarrrrre - it's only since he's been under my tutelage does he give marks other than 1/10 or 10/10).

The fact that I had booked a table which seemed to have disappeared when I arrived did irk me but they did give us one until around 9pm (we arrived at 7:30 and only intended to have a couple of drinks anyway).   The first round was a bit slow coming as there appeared to be only one barman in the downstairs bar, but my Sazerac once  it arrived was good.  The second one arrived more quickly.  They were pretty strong too (a good thing).

I'm not sure how oysters can look dodgy but I eat a lot of them and the ones served looked like normal rock oysters on the half-shell on ice to me. I decided to give them a miss as I once had an unpleasant experience mixing them with spirits.  We then had some shrimp which were ok.  Decor was more dive bar than lounge bar and the music (trad jazz, I think) was a bit loud).  I was up for another round  but Simon was bitching so much about the other people in the place I got earache, so we upped and we left.

Further info:  Membership is open to anybody. They are open until 3am Mon-Sat and until 2am Sunday and they say you can get a pro-rated refund if not satisfied.

Basically I want the same things as Thomas so I’m  prepared to give it another go (sans my moaning minnie brother, natch  ).  I can take up to three guests so if anyone fancies trying it out please contact me (you buy your own drinks, though).

Robin

[Simon Majumdar]

Once again Robin's memory and judgement have been clouded by a free drink.

I urge any of you to take Robin up on his offer.  He is excellent company and it will save me having to go ever again

S

[rmajumdar]

Once again Robin's memory and judgement have been clouded by a free drink.

Free ????? It cost me £150  

[Hasmi]

Bizarre thing is I actually just put myself and couple of people on their list for wednesday.

Though Simon's review has filled me trepidation.

Nevermind it is free to get in to so theres only one way of finding out the truth and thats to go look for yourself.

Keep you posted

H

[Hasmi]

Was crap!

A dark dark dark place!

The members bar was tiny!

Not happy!

Not going again!

[Simon Majumdar]

Never, ever doubt the Majumdar Brothers Again!!!

[Miss J]

Never, ever doubt the Majumdar Brothers Again!!!

A mantra I employ at least a few times a day.

Miss J