Competition Round Four: Limericks

[maggiethecat]

The limerick's a verse form complex:

Its contents run mainly to sex.

They're chock full of virgins

And masculine urgins

And vulgar erotic effects.

So please write one all about food.

The content should never be--- crude!

But we will be alert

And you might win a shirt

For a food pun that's tastefully lewd.

To offer some foreplay to you

I won’t hold your posts in my queue.

I’ll release them each day

(More exciting that way!)

But the climax still comes in Week Two.

Contest Three is on hold for awhile.

(Interruptus, she said with a smile.)

The submissions were great

But I want more than eight

A Big Bang is more eGullet’s style.

Post your limericks here . . .

[Fat Guy]

On account of technological incompetence

By one or more administrators of corpulence

The queue was forgotten

Ms. Cat's mood turned rotten

Please take until Friday to show your brilliance

As before, post your limericks here . . .

[awbrig]

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Im a Schizophrenic

And so am I

[maggiethecat]

Lay aside that new shiny "Saveur"

Check these out---just become a voyeur.

Your limerick's better

And harder and wetter

Post one now. I'm excited. Fer shur!

[awbrig]

can you provide me a link on the form or how to write a proper limerick

thanks in advance!

[Fat Guy]

Here are some very serious rules for proper limerick composition. I think Maggie will probably be a bit more lenient, though!

And just to be clear, do not post your entries on this thread. This thread is for talk about the competition. Entries go on a separate thread here and will be released from the queue after a preview by Maggie.

[maggiethecat]

can you provide me a link on the form or how to write a proper limerick

thanks in advance!

Sure, Brig!

Limerick How Tos

And again, the contest is extended a week.

[maggiethecat]

I think Maggie will probably be a bit more lenient, though!

Lenient is my middle name. Well, one of them!

[maggiethecat]

Two days left for you to indulge in limerick silliness. How's this for a lure: I will write a custom limerick for each entry I receive between now and midnight, May 31st. It will include your alias and some tomfoolery about comestibles.

There once was a chef from Sioux Falls

Who said, "Maggie, stop busting my balls!"

I'll write you that poem

And it will sure show'em

A limerick just nevers palls.

[maggiethecat]

Congratulations Xanthippe. Check out her third- place winning limerick on the front page of TDG. Naughty girl!

[maggiethecat]

Congratulations, btw. Gee...I just awarded a prize for a clean limerick.

[maggiethecat]

Zilla:

Congratulations! A short story in limericks: that's ambitious.

Bask in your well-deserved glory.