I knew it was a dumb idea from the get go, but you trying lying in bed in pain for three months on powerful drugs then try to make a rational decision!
In my accelerating frustration at relying on delivery food and being bored, while simultaneously developing a craving for comfort food, and recently having discussed aspects of fish and chips on this very website, guess what I tried to find!
I searched my phone app for chips and found what was described in Chinese as 香脆薯条(xiāng cuì shǔ tiáo) and in English as “delicious chips”. Massive points for using the correct name!
Then I went scrolling down the page and found 鳕域条 (xuě yù tiáo) or “cod slices”.
I got fish and I got chips.
They arrived very quickly.
These were accompanied by two sachets of tomato ketchup (which should never be anywhere near fish and chips) and a tiny pot of Kewpie sweet mayonnaise. The ketchup went straight into the trash and the mayo had a silver dagger thrust into its heart before being hung, drawn and quartered. The "chips" were pale and limp and the fish was overcooked and dry, despite the coating not being at all coloured. The whole combo had been fried in what tasted like months old well-used oil. The aftertaste won't go away even after me washing my mouth more than once and then gargling several times with 18 year old single malt whisky, purely for medical reasons, you understand..
