I am spectacularly lazy about my kefir. I will use it regularly and then forget it. BUT, I keep mine in the refrigerator almost exclusively. It really slows down the culturing so that it harder to get away from you. It's like the slow cold bread dough method, it's still working but at a much reduced rate.
Maybe try that for a while and see if it suits you.
I think the 3 to 4 days is way too much at room temp. I never go more that 12-24 hours at room temp before I put it in the fridge.
I would suggest to sieve it though, for your preferred consistency. And try to reuse those grains.
