TDG: Ivan on Blue Hill

[Fat Guy]

Our official unauthorized historian, Ivan, has reviewed Blue Hill.

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[Jinmyo]

NEW YEAR'S Day was to mark the debut of my Magnum Opus, a 170-volume work retelling the History of the Western World, written entirely in free verse.

Free verse? Wanker.

[helenas]

edit: comment reconsidered and withdrawn.

Edited January 2, 2003 by helena sarin (log)

[Max]

(I])saw before me a ruggedly handsome young man holding an immense pepper grinder. "Always carry your own," he replied cryptically, and disappeared into the Men's Wash Room,

I love your metaphoric eloquence.

[Nick]

More, more of Ivan's writing please. Recent unpleasant events are swept away like so many crumbs after reading such a piece.

[Bux]

I deftly swiveled my head and saw before me a ruggedly handsome young man holding an immense pepper grinder. Gratefully, I copiously peppered my dish, and returned the pepper grinder to the young man, thanking him. "Always carry your own," he replied cryptically, and disappeared into the Men's Wash Room, where he was no doubt heading when my lamentations reached his ears. I took a bite of the now-properly seasoned Bass Tartar, and returned to my Magnum Opus.

Who dirinks magnum Opus with Bass Tartar? And we all know the real Ivan is dead. Of course the pepper was poisoned. Alas we have but a charade or perhaps more properly a facade of the real Ivan assuming the portrait gracing today's installment is supposed to be more up to date than the last one. Still it serves as a lesson for all. It may be bad manners in the US to reject the offer of a stranger's pepper, but the French know better how to carry on in a public restaurant where, for them, eating out is a life and death matter of a different kind.

[robert40]

Cabrale.

Oh Cabrale For Where Art Thou.

[Sandra Levine]

Is this supposed to be an improvement over Off-Topic Chat?

[Steve Plotnicki]

What she said.

[jaybee]

What they said.

Is there somewhere in Ivan's review where he says what he thinks of the food?

[tommy]

Is there somewhere in Ivan's review where he says what he thinks of the food?

[laura]

This is a parody, right? How clever, and well thought out and such an improvement . I'm kidding. It's really very dull.and although most of the off topic chats didn't interest me I think it was brilliant idea to come up with a

thread that is worse than the off topic threads.

[southern girl]

What they all said and...if I were the folks at Blue Hill...I don't think I would want to be parodied like this...maybe I'm off base, it certainly wouldn't be the first time ...I know it's "publicity"...but, I would prefer real food reviews like appear in the NY Board...or discussions on other boards.

[bpearis]

was this originally posted on aintitcoolnews.com? it reads that way.

[Wilfrid]

Fucking "mild looking".

[Nick]

I still like it. Are people suffering from writer's envy?

[Jinmyo]

Free Verse? Piffle. Ottava rima (abababcc), now that would be impressive.

[phaelon56]

Ivan's History of the Western World sounds suspiciously similar to Joe Gould's Oral History of the World (see the short story entitled Joe Gould's Secret - it's in a compendium by writer Joseph Mitchell, entitled The Old Hotel). Let's hope Ivan doesn't meet the same sad fate as Joe Gould (or Joseph Mitchell, for that matter).

[maggiethecat]

More about Rachel's dress please.

[Rachel Perlow]

Pretty dresses.

Shoes.

[Blondie]

Fucking "mild looking".

Isn't that better than poncey?

[ivan]

edit: comment reconsidered and withdrawn.

Actually, I thought it was a valid point. Aren't there other Russian surnames that are a plural noun? Can't think of one off-hand, but it seems plausible.

[Gavin Jones]

Free Verse? Piffle.

Jinmyo, poetry now consists of words which fail to reach the end of the line.

That said I always feel every Ottava wants a Sestina - preferably Petrarchan.

[ivan]

What she said.

Which "she?"

Jinmyo called me a wanker.

Helena furthered the discussion on the origin of your surname.

Sandra said that I suck compared to off-topic chat.

Of course, you can agree with all three without contradiction.

My only consolation, as I recover from the devastating blows to my ego inflicted by Jinmyo and Sandra is that (a) Any male over the age of 13 who denies being a wanker is either lying or worse, and (b) To OTC junkies in the throes of OTC withdrawals everything sucks compared to OTC.

Edited January 3, 2003 by ivan (log)

[ivan]

What they said.

Is there somewhere in Ivan's review where he says what he thinks of the food?

It was exquisite.