Laughing Goddess

Yeah, crumbs in the boobies tickle, don't they? You don't want crumbs in the cleavage at 75 mph. Not to mention the looks you get from truckers and SUV's as you try to fish them out. Reminds me of the time the lox fell off my bagel and into my cleavage when I was driving on Route 128 somewhere in the Boston area, and of course I put the bagel down and fished the fish out. Well, the driver of the truck in the next lane noticed what I was doing... and I noticed that he noticed.. and it's a wonder we didn't crash into each other. Anyhow, he honked at me, and I beeped at him, and I put the lox back on the bagel and continued my breakfast on my 45 minute drive to work in Winchester. Breakfast was good, and nobody got hurt.

Yeah, crumbs in the boobies tickle, don't they? You don't want crumbs in the cleavage at 75 mph.

Wow, what a fabulous thread -- fascinating. Thank you so much for starting it, Ivan. What was your family food culture when you were growing up? Lower middle class/white trash/south of Boston Catholic. And I still have the strong accent to prove it, even though I've been living in Arkansas for the past four years. (I tell people I meet, "Yes, I have actually pahhked my cahh in Hahhvad Yahhd.") Dinner was stuff like "American Chop Suey," overcooked macaroni with tomato sauce and hamburger mixed in (horrible -- and why did they call it chop suey when it was a bastardized Italian dish?) Spaghetti-Os. Campbell's tomato soup with a grilled cheese sandwich. Hamburger Helper, and later on, Tuna Helper. Swanson's TV dinners. Now I live near the Swanson's fried chicken factory, and man, does the neighborhood smell awful when they're cooking. Homemade fried chicken smells wonderful -- factory fried chicken does not. Canned vegetables. Is this a child-of-the-depression thing? My parents never never ate fresh veggies except at restaurants. I can remember being at the grocery store with Mum when I was small and we always walked straight through the fresh veggie/fruit section without even looking at anything. So I couldn't understand why I liked veggies at a restaurant, but hated them at home. The only exception was broccoli, which was apparently bought frozen and not canned, and I did like that. Was meal time important? No, not really. There was plenty of eating in front of the TV, particularly when the news was on. Was cooking important? I'm another one who has to say that Mum "cooked" because it was part of her job description, not because she liked it. Hence the Spaghetti-Os, etc. What were the penalties for putting elbows on the table? None that I recall. I was taught that it was OK to have elbows on the table before the food arrived, or in between courses, but that it was wrong to have elbows on the table when there was food on the table. What the heck does the whole 'elbows on the table' thing mean, anyway? Why is elbows on the table rude? Who cooked in the family? Mostly Mum, because Dad considered it a woman's job (he doesn't anymore, now that he's retired). But there were some jobs that were Dad's -- making mashed potatoes, and frying a bad cut of steak until it was gray. I hated steak when I was little, and would cut pieces of it and hide it in the mashed potatoes (because they insisted I had to eat all my steak, but not all the mashed potatoes. So the yucky steak got hidden in the bottom of the potatoes, and I ate the top of the potatoes, and the yucky steak got thrown away). I didn't like steak until I had it in a restaurant. If my parents ever come down here to visit me in Fayetteville, I'm taking them to Doe's for a porterhouse, so they can see how a steak should be cooked. Were restaurant meals common, or for special occassions? Luckily, this is the part of my food childhood that was good. We ate out often, mostly casual, but good places for Sundays or special occasions -- birthdays, whatever. Friendly's, diners -- if anyone knows who owned the Montello Diner in Brockton, Mass. circa 1970-1975, let me know! I would do anything to have their fabulous baked macaroni and cheese recipe!!! Fish. Seafood of all kinds -- eating out mostly, they rarely made fish at home. It's still strange for me, even though I've been in Arkansas for 4 years, not to be able to go get a scallop roll or clam roll or lobster roll whenever I want. Did children have a "kiddy table" when guests were over? Nope. Don't think I ever even heard of the idea till I was an adult. When did you get that first sip of wine? As a teen, I had a boyfriend who brought MD-2020 on a date. It wasn't till I was in my 30s that I discovered good wine. Was there a pre-meal prayer? Nope. Hell no -- we were Catholic! I still don't get it: we were required to go to Sunday school until we were confirmed (age 15 or so?), but we never went to church and never discussed religion. So why did we have to go to Sunday school? And I bet most of my hometown is the same. I never read the Bible till I was in a college "World Religions" class. Was there a rotating menu (e.g., meatloaf every Thursday)? Not really, just the same bad stuff, not on any schedule. My parents first tried Chinese food (Americanized -- we're not talking Chinatown here) and Italian food in their 20s, and always liked it after that -- and that was the extent of their experimentation. My Mum told me that Dad took her on a date circa 1952 to a pizza place. She had never seen it before and didn't know what to expect. When the pizza was brought to the table, she was horrified. It looked to her like vomit on a platter! Luckily, she got over it! Mum and Dad have never had Indian food. Or sushi. Thai, once, at my insistence -- it was my birthday, but I'm sure they've never had it again. They've never had Mexican. Or German. Or.... They don't know where they got an adventurous daughter from. How much of your family culture is being replicated in your present-day family life? Uh, no family life, and not likely to have one since I'm 39 and don't even have a boyfriend. I'm part of the eating-out-a-lot culture. I would cook if I had a family, though -- seems like too much trouble to do just for myself, but I do read cookbooks and websites like eGullet every day -- I want the education, for whenever I do decide to cook. And thanks all, again, for your wonderful responses. It took me about three hours to read these 6 pages today, and it was a great read. Next?

One of my friends puts ketchup and mustard on tuna sandwiches. And he puts it on Wonder bread (wonder why they call it 'bread'?) Tuna. Mayo. Ketchup. Mustard. Wonder bread. GAH!

Then you should read this on oysters. A good initiation to eGullet. LOL! that thread reminds me of when I was in Ireland last summer, and one of our friends was a 19 year old from Arkansas who had never had mussels before and was unsure about ordering them. But my friend Rose told him, "Just think of them as little clits." He ordered 'em, and he liked 'em!

Tommy,

Elyse -- because it felt so creepy on my boobs, I didn't want it in my mouth! It was my first time trying oysters. I mean, you have to admit, oysters feel and look like phlegm. Now back to the boobs: for some reason, when I drink beer, it will someimes dribble down my chin and neck into my cleavage. But it only happens with beer, not wine, not mixed drinks, not water... Must have to do with the fact I'm drinking it from the can. Will probably happen sometime this evening, because I'm drinking beer out of the can right now.

if i may be so bold jason, i'm always impressed at how stain-free your shirts are when i see you at the beginning of dinner. Thank you. When Jason says I use Shout. I don't just use Shout. I use Shout Gel. The trigger bottles of Shout or Spray & Wash do not work as well as Shout Gel. The Spray & Wash stick is OK, but the Gel with the scrubby brush on top is the best. My laundry day mostly consists of spreading out Jason's shirts in front of me, one at a time, and scrubbing Shout Gel into each stain. Then I wash them with a pre-wash or soak cycle with a regular detergent like Tide or Arm & Hammer in our front loading Whirlpool Duet washer. These shirts I speak of are mostly t-shirts and golf shirts. Nice button down (especially white) shirts go to the cleaners. Yup, Rachel's right. The Shout Gel with the scrubby thing on top is great. Worst cleavage/food accident I've ever had: I was out with a bunch of friends somewhere in Nova Scotia, eating oysters by the ocean, when one of my friends said something funny just as I was dropping an oyster in my mouth. I burst out laughing, tried to catch the oyster in my hand, but it fell in my cleavage. EWWWW! CREEPY! I screamed and jumped up, dancing around, and finally reached down and scooped the creature out of my cleavage, and threw it in the sand. I didn't eat oysters for a long time -- I finally got over it! Men are terribly amused at women dropping food in the cleavage -- and often offer to lick the offending item away. Geez, you don't think I let EVERYONE lick my boobies, do ya?

I know what you mean about suddenly liking something once you have a 'good' version of it. I always disliked BBQ *ducks* until I ate BBQ at Willie Mae's in West Memphis, Arkansas. I remember eating it and thinking, "So THIS is why people love BBQ so much." I guess I just never had GOOD bbq before. But I'm from Massachusetts, so what do I know? But one thing I can't abide is CELERY! Why did you put celery in my kung pao chicken? why did you put celery in my tunafish? Why did you put celery in my potato salad.... chicken salad..... It tastes nasty, and those STRINGS!! AAAARGH! Nasty taste, nasty texture, and those strings getting caught in your teeth... Why does anyone eat celery?! OK, rant completed. Thanks for listening.

Yeah, I have cravings too -- I'll eat something till I'm sick of it. I was on a creme brulee kick for a while, but then when it got so popular that it was on every menu, I didn't like it any more. I went on a caviar kick one weekend -- it was all I ate (the cheap kind, LOL -- too poor for the good stuff). Haven't had any since. Then there's the salt and chocolate cravings for PMS. Whoever invented chocolate covered pretzels should get a medal.

Did y'all see the story about how Ireland's stores now charge shoppers for bags? http://www.msnbc.com/news/946646.asp Seems like a good idea to me, though I do use the plastic ones for kitty litter. If they change the situation in the US, then I would have to buy bags to get rid of the kitty litter! Or maybe I could get rid of the kitty litter in old cereal boxes? Hmm, I don't eat that much cereal. Anyhow, it wouldn't be a big adjustment if we did it here -- we'd all just have to get used to keeping sturdy shopping bags in the car.

I'll vote for Quizno's, too. I was surprised at how good the Tuscan chicken sandwich was, with nice bread/fillings. And the Back Yard Burger chain -- http://www.backyardburgers.com/. Just had a bacon cheeseburger there the other day. The lemon chicken sandwich is good, too. Did anyone mention Steak N Shake? http://www.steaknshake.com/ The chicken melt sandwich rocks, and so do the cheese fries. The chili's not bad either -- Cincinnati style (five-way or three-way). Lenny's is another good one for cold subs -- the chicken salad has big chunks of chicken, and it's always nice and fresh. No letting the chicken salad sit overnight in the walk-in. http://www.lennyssubshop.com/menu.htm Hmm, I seem to be on a chicken kick today.

I love visiting my parents in Massachusetts in the summer, where the ice cream trucks still roll along, bells ringing and all (or sometimes music playing). My favorite is the one that's like a chocolate eclair, only there's a dark chocolate candy bar in the middle. Candy Bar Crunch? Is that what it's called? Well, I think there are at least two names for it, depending on what company made it. There aren't any ice cream men here in Arkansas, but at least the Schwan's man will come to deliver gallons of ice cream every two weeks.

"I only eat one piece of bacon, two at the most -- After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under the host." ** apologies to Dorothy Parker**

A slab of bacon a day keeps the doctor away.

Ooh, I have one to add to this. My ex's mom use to steal from restaurants -- glasses, mostly, and sometimes ashtrays too. Once, when she tripped as we were leaving (with me seething behind her), a waiter said, "Oh, don't let her fall -- she'll bleed to death." She kept walking, but didn't return the glassware hidden in her coat -- and then later confessed to being embarrassed. And she also thought her husband tipped too much, so she'd wait till we all left the resturant, then went back in saying that she had to go to the bathroom and would take money off the table. I caught her at it. She also claimed there was no difference between margarine and butter and thought I was a snob because I don't eat margarine. Glad I got rid of that BF and his evil mom.

That cracks me up. And reminds me of something that happened to my cousin Carol. She and her husband were invited to another couple's house for dinner, and the main course was lasagna, which tasted terrible to Carol. She feared that the ricotta was bad, but she saw that everyone else was eating, so she was polite as possible and ate what she could. A couple of months later, Carol invited the couple to her house for dinner, and she made lasagna. They guests declared it delicious, and the wife asked, "What's your secret?" "Well," Carol said, "no secret really," and described how she made it, including of course using ricotta. "Oh, ricotta!" the wife declared. "That's the secret!" "Why, what do you use?" Carol asked. Guess what she used? Cottage cheese! BLLEEECH!