chappie

At dinner last night a friend told me about a dish he had a party (hosted by a local chef and restaurateur). Basically the same method and ingredients of hummus, except instead of chickpeas for a base, it used (I imagine grilled?) chicken livers. He said he it was so good he "would have slathered it on a someone's sock and eaten it." Better than pate, apparently. Has anyone ever heard of this or anything like it? I must learn more, because this needs some research.

I like the combination of good olive-oil-packed tuna, hummus, microgreens, oil-cured olives and tomato.

Ah, so that's where he got it. I always love when people grow up thinking something their elders often repeated was original, only to discover it came from the magical world of pop culture. My fiancee used to talk about a song her grandmother and her made up that went "Playmate, come out and play with me, and bring your dollies three, climb up my apple tree..." And then one day while visiting my sister in California she played a friend's radio show featuring old crusty out-of-print records and bang: there was the playmate song. I got a good laugh out of that one, and brought a tape back as evidence.

I have a large oval Le Creuset dutch oven that would be perfect for this overnight, but I can't find a definitive answer on the lid-on-or-off philosophy. My thinking is to start in on the stovetop to caremelize a bit, then stir, maybe add some balsamic and thyme, and place in a 200 degree oven overnight, lid either off or slightly askew. If you left the lid on, where would the liquid go? How would it concentrate?

Cookoff is eight days away and I still have no idea what I'm going to make. I've had requests for the same recipe I made last year, but I don't want to do a rerun. Someone told me a company in my town is selling sea scallops harvested off Ocean City, Md., in the shell, and that I might find some with roe. That would make for an interesting flavor; I did a lobster/andoille/mussel/saffron batch two years ago (was foiled by travel time and the failure to realize a crockpot wouldn't reheat it fast enough), and the tomalleys added great flavor. But I also spent a small fortune on it, which I don't want to do this time. I'll report back on my decision.

When I was young my Granddaddy Fred always told us "Eatin' greens is a special treat. It makes long ears and great big feet." I'm not sure the allure of elephant ears and clown feet was a good way to get a child to finish his kale, but luckily I liked the green stuff anyway. My feet were abnormally large for a kid, too, but I grew into them.

A couple of questions: I have palm sugar I purchased for making Pad Thai. Would this work as a substitute for the maltose or is regular brown sugar better? Secondly, would throwing a dried chili or two in with the sauce ruin the flavor balance?

I live in Maryland where we often find thousands of what we call periwinkles in the salt marshes. They are quite small, maybe a half-inch across at most. Would they work for this dish? I once tried boiling a few of them but found the meat very difficult to extract; plus there's a hard bottom to the "foot" that is probably inedible.

Those side-by-side "Vietamish" places are so bad I have to wonder if they either share the same kitchen or at least a room in which a delivery service brings bland AmeriChinese takeout for the staff to add lettuce leaves and white pepper to and call it Vietnamese.

Just found this review of toaster bags, which doesn't quell my interest in acquiring a good set: "GH Institute Product Tests Toaster Bags A new type of product, called a toaster bag, promises a lot: Drop two slices of bread and cheese in these nonstick bags, toss in the toaster or toaster oven...and before you know it -- a mouthwatering grilled cheese sandwich, quickly, cleanly and conveniently.To see if this new cooking product lives up to its claim, the Good Housekeeping Institute tested out two brands: Toast-Its and Toastabags. The results? The bags failed to deliver great-tasting dishes. When the outside of the grilled cheese sandwiches were buttered, the bread turned soggy. When bacon was tossed in the bag, none turned out crisp, and some came out still raw. French toast was another disaster because the bread cooked unevenly, and the egg mixture dripped to the bottom of the bag. The GH Institute's biggest concern? On occasion, the bags didn't remain centered in the oven and came in direct contact with a heating element, posing a fire hazard. The manufacturers' response? Toastabags says it doesn't recommend cooking foods that produce liquids, while Toast-It says that "melted fat from bacon or the egg mixture that collects at the bottom of the bag" helps to "reduce cleanup." Toast-It also says that its Teflon bags cannot catch fire and, in any case, should be "kept away from the heating elements."

As a 14-15-year-old busboy working late, I would swipe a Pepperidge Farm roll out of the warming drawer, butter it and load it up with Hershey's chocolate syrup and whipped cream. This complemented the "Busboy Crack" I would make seperately: Strong coffee, hot chocolate mix, chocolate syrup, cream and maybe even creamer, more sugar, all shaken vigorously in a bar mixer dispenser and poured into shots for energy.

We knew a guy who paid full price for not much more than you assembled at the fixins bar. College Park had (still does, probably, but different ownership) a great little Greek placed called Marathon Deli. Gyros and souvlaki were killer. This guy was a thin, perpetually clean and groomed, workout type who counted calories and fat grams. He would stroll up to the counter and proudly order a "veggio gyro — and hold the Greek sauce" (tzatziki). They must have loved the profit margin they pocketed whilst handing over a pita wrapped around lettuce, hothouse tomatoes, onions, an olive or two and a sprinkling of feta. "Mmmmm... these are incredible," he'd say after the first bite. I've never forgotten that quote. Dad tells stories from his days at UVa. in the early '60s, when he and other broke friends would order the "Turkey Special" for a nickel or dime at a favorite dive. Two pieces of white bread spread with mayo and sprinkled with pepper.

In college I once lived in a house with six other guys who all hoarded their food, which was segregated and crammed into highly competitive turf zones in the kitchen, which featured one regular fridge/freezer and three stacked minis. As a newcomer, I had one tiny shelf in a cabinet and even smaller real estate in one of the mini fridges. As two of the brokest in the herd, another roomie and I were notorious pilferers, learning how to shave a slice of ham from one guy's stack, a piece of cheese from another, etc. — scavenging which usually took place after midnight. Andy had a large store of cheap rice, and virtually lived on a dish comprised of cooked rice, pilfered cheese, borrowed cocktail olives with pimentos and salsa, tossed in the microwave for a minute. And it wasn't too bad. Sometimes our habits would be subsidized by a kindhearted roommate who would return from a weekend home with truckload of his mother's Jewish cooking. Knishes for a week straight, topped with someone's mustard, broken up into the aforementioned rice/olive dish or, as I did on one desperate munchie binge (with a kasha knish), basted with butter, coated in brown sugar and cinnamon, baked and served with burgled ice cream. Hey, it sort of worked. At another college apartment, when my funds dwindled, I was left with nothing but cooking oil, a sack of cornmeal and several onions. I survived on deep-fried hushpuppies for a week — until a roommate sick of everything coated in greasy residue and the place reeking of burnt oil bit the bullet and took me out for gyros.

Daniel, I want to know more about the kind of bacon you used in your toffee pork bits. It looks really good.

Can I make congee with brown rice or is that heresy? Also, about the salted pork... is it ever browned in a pan and added late or is it always customary to simmer it with the rice? I've never made congee but want to try it.

I don't drink much soda, but I enjoyed Vanilla Coke the few times I tried it; didn't find it "mediciney" at all, and thought the vanilla flavor was somewhat decent for a mass-produced junk drink. Never tried the Pepsi one...

All is too quiet on the National Corndog Day front, being that it is a mere two or so months away. The site still refers to Corndog Day 2005 as being right around the corner, and I got no response to an inquisitive email I send last week. This year I vow to either make one of the D.C. parties or host an Eastern Shore one. And I will complete the triple-double; you can bank on it.

I know possess several pounds of Sichuan peppercorns, but I really don't know what to do with them. For as lengthy as this thread is, it doesn't link to too many recipes that I can find. Any help?

Once during a drinking session while home from college I performed an even stupider stunt with lemons, slices of which were sitting on a coffee table for tequila shots. Unpromted, and out of nowhere, I grabbed fistfuls of sour citrus and jammed them into my eyes, then ran around the house screaming. At first I did this out of lunacy, but momentarily I sobered up enough to realized my eyes were now in agony. It took hours for both the laughter and my pain to subside. I do have a photo somewhere, though. I'll scan it if I find it. Just a routine cleaning, I guess.

Does anyone have any recipes involving cutting the end(s) off a whole lotus root and stuffing the holes? It seems this would be great with some sort of ground pork mixture, and my friend in China says he has had it often stuffed with some type of fermented rice.

When I played lacrosse in high school, one of the tricks I was known for (none of which had anything to do with my field skills, which were average at best) was devouring whole bananas, peel included, on the bus to away games. I managed this usually in two bites, much to the entertainment of my teammates -- and my coach's dismay. At least I wasn't drying and attempting to smoke them.

With Busboy's directions, I found the place at opening Tuesday morning after dropping my friend off at Dulles for a 7:30 a.m. flight — back to China, where he lives now (in Guilin). It was a abuzz with workers preparing the day's fish and trimming outer leaves off baby bok choy. I was impressed with Great Wall, and it was just one step below the gigantic, ultra-clean supermarket I went to in Richmond, Calif. Out there, the selection of seafood was much larger and everything swam in pristing, aquarium-quality tanks. But still, Great Wall in Fairfax has plenty of seafood — as well as meats. If I'd had a cooler or wasn't driving two hours home to the Eastern Shore, I would've bought duck, rabbit and some poultry feet for soups. Instead I stocked up on lotus root, baby bok choy, daikon, several brands of jarred fermented tofu (a taste test, and none come close to the stuff my buddy brought back from Guilin, sadly), a large tub of kimchi, black vinegar, and a few other odds and ends. It is almost overwhelming, and I need to make many further visits. If only we had one here on the Eastern Shore... I am amazed at how much cheaper their produce and meats are than at an average western grocer.

I am the defending champion of an annual chowder cookoff hosted by my friend Sean at the Severn Sailing Association in Annapolis, Md., and am looking for a strong followup to last year's "Cornographic Crawfish" winner for February's rematch. There will be about 25 entrants, and I know people are expecting something unique. Last year I used crawfish, roasted corn, pureed and strained corn (as thickener), cream, poblano peppers, chipotle, fatback, red peppers and secret spices including a mysterious granulated shrimp product Dad brought back from a roadside stand in Vietnam last winter. I've seen some recipes out there for Sauerkraut Chowder and was thinking of adapting this concept, but I haven't decided for sure. Has anyone tried this chowder, or do you have any preliminary suggestions on defending my crown? I expect tougher competition this go-round, because I am again likely the lone Eastern Shore entry and I believe I wounded the locals' pride last February.

This should be renamed "Hades," and have a sign over the door saying "Abandon all hope ye who enter here." Hey...they make a fine "hangover soup" -- something with tripe. And I've never thrown up after eating there. Not that it's exactly fine dining, either. ← You have to question any Mexican/Salvadoran/Latino restaurant at which the lone hot sauce on the tables is Tabasco. I am mixed on the place. On the one hand, it's open late, had a laid-back bar atmosphere, and the pupusas are cheap and serviceable. On the other hand, on Monday night I made the mistake of ordering "enchildas nortenas," not really reading the description well. Basically it was queso con queso con queso. Cheese fried cheese. Tortillas filled with plain cheese, then covered in more cheese, baked, then topped with still more cheese plus sour cream. I had to ruin my friend's bathroom at 3 a.m.

I just purchased some lotus root at an asian supermarket (Great Wall in Fairfax, Va.) and am also looking for recipes on how to prepare it. The last time I had it was at a Korean tofu place in Oakland, Calif. They served it as panchan, crunchy and slightly sweet, glistening with oil and alongside some sort of soybeans.