jamiemaw

Here's my understanding of the format. 1. Although the Chefs' Table Society is the beneficiary of this enterprise, any executive chef or proprietor can enter the name of an apprentice. This serves the dual purpose of encouraging more chefs, apprentices and proprietors to join the Society (at a nominal cost), especially those interested in the advancement of local, sustainable ingredients, no matter the dialect in which they cook, while also educating and encouraging emerging chefs. This may also sponsor the addition--in the next edition of the CTS Cookbook--of such vaunted recipes as HSG Gingerbread Pudding and Kung Pow Phat Soy. Not incidentally, CTS is a very inclusive and egallitarian collaborative and all are welcome. There will be future fundraising and membership drives announced before year-end. 2. You may enter the name of a deserving apprentice by contacting Lumière (see Kossmekate's post below for contact information). 3. The lottery will be held on November 10th. 4. I'll see to it that the names of the chosen half-dozen are published here if you like. Cheers, Jamie

Chin-ups?

Perhaps it's the nature of my avocation, Arne, but I have no trouble at all with being on top of the thongs.

A five minute cab ride over the Burrard Bridge will land you at the counter of Sado San at Octopus's Garden on Cornwall Avenue. Fresh, lively, and a terrific host--and at about half the cost of Tojo. This is our neighbourhood sushi bar, but it stacks up well to the 400 others now available across the city.

It's a widely known fact that Englishmen can't play soccer either.

Agreed on the linen and double damask, which unfortunately, given the atrocious costs of laundry supply, have gone the way of the fish knife in all but the most exalted dining rooms here. At home though, we use them frequently; they can spruce up even a mid-week meal. As for disposable napkins, we use them for barbecue and other hand foods. Blame the Virgo in me, but I just can't get my mind around besmirching the linen with vast smears of mahogany sauce.

Where would you suggest? Maybe they could have made a replica of the restaurant in a shed somewhere in the 'burbs. Wouldn't that be a tad 'Self Defecating' Seriously, though, the success of the London restaurant scene has left a serious dearth of decent waiting staff. See Clement Freud's review of Maze f'rinstance: new restaurant of the year and still the service lacks lustre. ← I've noticed. And if you read the linked thread through, you'll see that yes, staff should be trained off-site. Replication of premises is not required, especially when the proprietor owns a perfectly good restaurant nearby that's available all day Saturday and Sunday, and during the rest of the week for partnered training shifts. The training manuals are for home study, with weekly tests and an 80% passing grade. Three fails and you're out. But experienced FOH staff (the 'opening team') are factored into the service mix from the established restaurant etc. This system benefits customer, server and proprietor.

Yes. And get this--because it's for a good cause I'm waiving my usual US$25,000 fee. ← Do you need a date ? ← Not really. But I think you should come anyway. Apply to Andre for the Seniors' Discount.

Yes. And get this--because it's for a good cause I'm waiving my usual US$25,000 fee.

1. Charlie Trotter is not charging a fee. In fact when he heard of the donation to the Chefs' Table Society and attendance of apprentice chefs, he offered to pay for the ingredients for his side of the menu, and their transportation from Chicago. Perhaps needless to say. foie gras will not be amongst them. The offer was accepted by the host restaurant. 2. The proforma budget for the evening, including Trotter's air fare and Vancouver accomodation, calls for the dinner to perform financially on a breakeven basis. 3. This suggests that the wines will be exceptional. 4. As of this writing, there are five seats remaining for the Trotter Dinner and a smattering for the others.

Let them eat Trout.

An interesting question that underscores a pet peeve of mine, Shelora. 1. If the napkin is in your wine glass, you're dining in the wrong suburb. 2. If the napkin is anything other than 100% cotton and white, you should remove yourself immediately, unless, of course, you're in a casual restaurant, especially one where you'll be eating with your hands. 3. If the napkin has been manipulated into an origami crane or other guiless creature, ditto. A napkin should be folded in half then into thirds, or, alternatively, into a neat triangle. Other than that it should not be touched by service staff. It may be placed to the left of the service setting, or in the middle of the setting in lieu of a charger. As to cutlery, the knives should be sharp and the fork should have four tines. The soup spoons should enjoy a capacity of at least one tablespoon. They should be sturdy and attractive but not so much so that they disappear. Hotel silver is my preferred weapon of choice.

The soft opening is designed to break in staff and kitchen. That's one reason why the prices are relaxed. Fair dinkum. But why not train staff off-site, the way it's done in the other western democracies? When empty tables go unbussed in an otherwise empty room, it seems there might be deeper issues afoot--I think that was the crux of magnolia's observations. The concept makes sense; the proprietor is experienced; the food sounds good. Let's hope Roast settles in quickly for a good long run. That being said, I look forward to more members' critical observations before dropping my emasculated, third world currency there.

I would second Sarh's recommendations of Racine for dinner and The Wolseley for a daylight meal. The latter is just west of The Ritz.

How is it possible to get your restaurant running smoothly before taking possession of the premises? ← The fact that you asked this question, dick, certainly answered mine.

Positively gaping.

I applaud the liberal application of Dutch Cleanser whether at home or abroad.

DIABLO TALENT MANAGEMENT LLC From the desk of: Ursula Rottweiler Dear Mr. Jackal, Mr. Maw has gone off the Penhalgion after he mistakenly drank a bottle and then summarily fired his man for 'contaminating the tonic water.' Fortunately, we were able to convince Smithers to rejoin our employ, albeit with an enhanced remuneration scheme and early retirement package. Mr. Maw is no longer permitted to drink brandy, however his new 'hybrid' limousine runs well on it. In fact, we encourage his consumption of local stouts and ales to assist in keeping his weight up. His distant rugby past, clouded by the shrouds of time, only confirms this predilection. And not seeking to offend, he generally allows his host to select the Champagne. Ditto the flowers, although there is a rider (unattached) that stipulates 'Absolutely no gerbera daisies, carnations (especially of the striated ilk), baby's breath, or amanita phallloides as he finds the latter 'a bit of rough going on the kidneys if I get peckish.' Sincerely, (Ms.) Ur Rottweiler Executive Assistant to the Chairman

I quite like the name. Equal parts John Bull/Blighty/Empire-Raj/Self Defecating. Besides, my drunken concierge should be able to remember it.

Thanks for the acute observations, magnolia. Do you think that this type of opening malaise is systemic in British restaurants, i.e. where the service staff is unprepared (or unwilling) to take common sense initiatives? Your impressions seem to support the notion that the opening crew was either 'three ring binder' trained (i.e. to react by rote), or severly undertrained to the point where they will impair the business. The food sounds interesting though. Perhaps with service repaired it will thrive as a daylight restaurant.

Have a word with yourself, mate. Rather than focus on the last paragraph of that article, perhaps you should look at the one that proceeds it, which explains how Iqbal got his break in journalism around the time that Salmam Rushdie received death threats and went into hiding (Aha! There's an attention-grabbing headline!!) and goes on to explain how he then went into PR (the business of telling entertaining lies). FIY, Tandoori Magazine was set up (by Iqbal, on behalf of his client, Karan Bilimoria) as a PR vehicle for Cobra Beer. He did write an article about FOH management in Indian restaurants which did say that many waiters came over as 'miserable gits' and Mr Bilimoria got quite upset about it, on the grounds that you don't woo potential customers by insulting them. So, Iqbal Wahab was sacked from Tandoori (and Karan Bilimoria may even have said, "I'll kill you", 18 times. Although I doubt it, because he is an extremely pukka gent.) What's sad about this article is that, when it was started, The Independent solemnly forbade it's journalists from taking bribes and certainly from writing puff pieces about restaurants based on free meals and whatever the charming proprietor tells them. ← Mother pukka! Sounds like this is a place for the discriminating diner. Thank you for your inciteful observations although the notion of me talking to myself is frightening.

Recent discussion and debate in various forums regarding the efficacy and protocols of restaurant reviewing and food writing, FAM trips and the perambulations of Mr. John Mariani have forced my hand to set the record straight. Diablo Talent Management LLC Office of the Chairman Ursula Rottweiler Executive Assistant to the Chairman AA Stewart Esq 88 Ellis Road Crowthorne, Berks United Kingdom Dear Mr. Stewart, Thank you for your recent electronic message confirming the attendance of Mr. Maw at your country home for the period 5 July to 8 July, 2005. As you may know, many international food critics, not unlike rock stars, typically have significant clauses in their contracts that deal with specific nutritional and accommodation requirements. This is especially true of Mr. Maw. As Mr. Maw’s visit with you is largely social, however, I have personally sorted through the regular omnibus contract that more typically describe his life on the road, and send to you today only those that are critical to his (and your family’s) well-being. Below then, the expurgated and annotated version: CATEGORY 7(A): CASUAL/SOCIAL/COUNTRY HOUSE (right click here) NEEDS OF MR. J.D. MAW AND ENTOURAGE 1.0. UPON ARRIVAL Mr. Maw likes to have his shirts and evening wear re-pressed, if you would kindly so inform your man. Please keep household pets and young children at a safe distance. 2.0 ACCOMMODATION: GENERAL REMARKS Mr. Maw’s suite, preferably on one level, to be not less than 1,200 square feet. The bath-tubs in each of the suite’s bathrooms to be heated, at all times, to a constant temperature of 122º F, with ironed copies of The Telegraph, and large, crystal drinking vessels of The Famous Grouse nearby. An ice chest, with chilled bottles or cans of indigenous craft brews and ales should be with easy arm’s reach of the bath-tub. There should be plenty of towels. The morning balcony or patio should enjoy a south-eastern exposure, where he prefers to take his breakfast (privately) of good Irish rashers, three coddled eggs, several lashings of strong, very hot coffee (espresso strength) and a selection of freshly squeezed citrus juices, iced. Eight sliced of toast (four white, four whole-wheat) with fresh fruit preserves and Keiller of Dundee’s “Orange Chip” marmalade, 2 lb. size. 2.2 For afternoon tea, which Mr. Maw also takes privately, he prefers a south-western facing balcony or patio, again with superior linens, crystal and cutlery. Large bottles of quality SPF 2 bronzing oil to be adjacent to chaise lounges (four). As Mr. Maw is keen to experience “regional cuisines”, he has no firm stipulations on the food service at tea, however, as a personal aside, I have long noted that a balcony or patio refrigerator of artisanal stouts and ales and regional meat leathers can go a long way to improving his disposition leading into the dinner hour. The “hot-tub” (or “mechanical bath” as you call it in England) on this balcony should be maintained at the same temperature as the interior bath-tubs, and must be on a timer. 2.3 Toilets may be of regulation porcelain, however we must insist that substantial gripping bars be installed on either side. Preferred diameter: two inches. Not incidentally, we have had the most success with cast iron. Aluminium and space-age composites, conversely, have thus far proven ineffective—following Mr. Maw’s departure from The Savoy recently (which you may have read about), the General Manager, M. Alphonse d’Aprés Toi, noted considerable structural damage in the titanium welds, which inevitably led to the lawsuit (see below). 2.3.1 Bathroom Amenities 2.3.1.4 A selection of superior (Geo. F. Trumper’s of Mayfair, W1 is our preferred supplier) quality shaving soaps, hair-dressings (summer pomades should be WD 20 or lighter), balms, emollients and moisturizers, shampoos and the like should be neatly arrayed on each bathroom counter. After-shave: Trumper’s Extract of Limes, 1 litre size. 2.1.1 NOTE: A large bottle of antacid tablets, should be kept (and replenished twice daily) in a prominent place, preferably next to the defibrillator. 3 In-Suite Amenities 3.1 A greeting basket and iced Champagne is no longer necessary for strictly casual/social/country house [right click here] visits, and in lieu of chocolates on his pillow at bed turn-down time, and as he is on a strict diet, Mr. Maw prefers a corned beef sandwich. Hot mustard please. 4 In-Suite Communications 4.1 Three line telephone service, one cordless. South American area codes in a neatly typed, laminated (i.e. bath-suitable) format, prominently displayed. Large format, plasma screen televisions. High-speed internet access. Incidentally, should Mr. Maw require pocket money for the pub or other nocturnal visitations (I’m afraid he can be as absent-minded as HRH Prince Charles in this matter), please contact his banker, Hamish Huanquer at Coutts’ bank. The most efficient way to order in cash, however, is via e-mail to: www.ska.com./profile/holding/private.html. Then simply type in Mr. Maw’s entry password—“007”, followed by this code—“snacks”. The cash will usually arrive (in largish notes) within the half hour—please inform whether to front door or “tradesmen’s”. PLEASE NOTE: Mr. Maw is now strictly limited to a daily cash allowance of £2,000 and so we would ask you to ensure that he doesn’t get over-enthusiastic about buying your neighbours excessive drink at the, I believe, “Crooked Billet”. 5 BED LINENS AND GENERAL SLEEPING SPECIFICATION 5.1 Linens 5.1.1 Preferred supplier: Frette. Minimum Thread-count: 400. Reading Pillows: Goose Down. Sleeping Pillows: Hypo-Allergenic foam. Mattress: Hand wound horsehair under hand-tied independent coils, “pillow-top”. Preferred supplier: Savoy Hotels Group plc. Minimum size: Kindly specify “Farouk”. 5.2 Bedside Amenities 5.2.1 A selection of quality broadsheets and magazines; some local so that he can write about the cultural peculiarities of your region. Be assured that this is all the local research (with the exception of forays to nearby restaurants and drinking establishments) that he will require of you. 6.2.1 The bedside refrigerator should be stocked with beverages as mentioned above, plus sparkling water and two crystal drinking glasses or small vases. 6.2.2 “Black-out” curtains and sleeping tablets. 7 Massages 7.1 In-suite massages and Turkish baths are no longer a requirement for casual/social visits. 8 DINNER AND LATER 8.1 As Mr. Maw is keen to experience regional cooking and drink, we shall leave it to you to plan a suitable dining itinerary. Quite often, Mr. Maw will insist on “helping out” with the dinner check. He will not be insulted if you ignore this amusing aside—he really can be quite funny. 8.2 Mr. Maw will no doubt also offer to prepare a meal based on his extensive but regionally focused repertoire. Allow me to describe how this works. After leading you on impossible and highly expensive goose chases to local butchers, fishmongers, greengrocers and wine shops (beware his Siberian Peach Pie with Chateau Petrus, 1931), Mr. Maw will come down from his evening bath, circa nine o’clock, wondering why you and your family look so tired. He will then enchant your other guests with tales of foreign intrigue, win all of the party games and seduce your neighbours’ wives. Their husbands will never speak to you again. He will then take all of the credit for cooking the meal, even if in tones of faux-modesty (“Heavens, it really wasn’t anything at all”), which your wife (who actually prepared the meal according to his specifications and recipes) will misunderstand and blame you for over the next decade. Your son, who has been hefting cords of firewood to Mr. Maw’s in-suite fireplaces all evening, will herniate a disc in his back and have to retire from any notion of a rugby career. Your daughter will never marry. 9 ENTOURAGE 9.1 Not Apllicable 10 INSURANCE 10.1 Following the flooding incident at Blenheim (which we have only just settled with the Duke of Marlborough), the fire at Buckingham Castle during Jubilee Week two years ago (Mr. Maw maintains that he had specifically requested “indoor fireworks” from his preferred Mexican supplier), and the liability suit launched by our solicitors when Mr. Maw lost his balance at The Savoy (gripping bar structural deficiencies, see above), we think it only prudent to add a temporary liability “rider” to your household insurance policy. To quantify: If successful, Mr. Maw’s suit against Savoy Hotel Group plc would result in him owning the four hotels outright. Truth be known, he couldn’t give a hoot about the money, or so he claims, it’s just that he wants to fire Mr. Gordon Ramsay immediately from his duties as leaseholder chef at The Savoy’s sister property, The Connaught Grill. No doubt he would like to be able to dine there again as well. 11 SPEECHES AND SINGING ENGAGEMENTS 11.1 Mr. Maw is currently booked to deliver the following speeches: 11.1.1 Crowthorne Resident’s Association, care of Mr. Bob Wade, President; Saturday, July 7 at 2pm. Topic: “Promoting the Quality of Life in Crowthorne—A North American Perspective” Venue: St. John’s Parish Church. Duration: 17 minutes, followed by Q & A (eight minutes). Tea and Biscuits. Speaking Fee £1250 plus VAT. 11.1.2 Bagshot & District Horticultural Society, care of Cecily Wooley-Smallpiece, Speakers Committee Chairman; Saturday, July 7 at 2:45 pm. Topic: “The Role of the Privet Hedge in the Electronic Age—A North American Perspective.” Venue: Wooley-Smallpiece Residence (note: rear garden if clement). Duration: 17 minutes, followed by Q & A. Tea and biscuits. Speaking Fee £850. 11.1.3 Page 3 Girls of Berkshire Alumnae Reunion, care of Tanya, 22, from Bracknell; Saturday, July 7 at 3:30 pm. Venue: Crooked Billet Public House, Honey Hill. Topic: Mr. Maw will read from his novel-in-progress “Eating Out Abroad—The Diary of an International Food Critic.” He will also give out the annual “Honey Hill” trophy for “Best Preserved,” followed by a Mix and Mingle. Sponsored by Top Shelf Magazine Group. Pints and meat pies. Fee: £15. 11.1.4 Broadmoor Bowling Club, Ladies’ Section, c/o Mrs. Dennis Sherwood, Hon Sec’s wife. (01344 771727); Saturday, July 7 at 6:15 pm. Venue: BBC Clubhouse, Cricket Field Grove. Topic: “Bowling—A North American Perspective.” Tea and Biscuits. Fee: £650. 11.1.5 Crowthorne and District Culinary Society, c/o Mrs. Clive Freep, outgoing-President; Saturday, July 7 at 7:00 pm. Venue: The Iron Duke, 254 High Street, Crowthorne. Mr. Maw will prepare a seven-course meal while delivering his lecture: “The Art of Regional Cuisine—A North American Perspective.” He will be assisted by Tanya, 22, from Bracknell. Dinner. Fee: £ 2,000. NOTE: Mr. Maw will stay late to sign copies of his novel in progress (£45 plus VAT) and to present the CDCS “Silver Salver” award to Mrs. Freep for her long-standing service. 11.1.6 8:00 pm (sharp) Return to Crooked Billet for Page 3 Alumnae Banquet. Gratis. 11. 2.1 Singing Mr. Maw has no active singing commitments at this time and is not to collect royalties in the bar. NOTE: Mr. Stewart, it would be very helpful indeed if you would assist in collecting these speaking fees, hopefully in advance. Sorry about the extra running around. All cheques (or, preferably, bank drafts) should be made payable to the “Maw Family Charitable Trust”, c/o Coutts’ Bank as above. Tax receipts issued upon request. The Maw Family Trust, a related company of DIABLO MANAGEMENT LLC, as our brochure will clearly attest, is dedicated to the furthering of knowledge and international goodwill regarding regional foodstuffs, culinary anthropology, food research and other, associated topics. In closing, Mr. Stewart, may I simply add that I apologize in advance for Mr. Maw’s behaviour, and, on behalf of all of the shareholders of DIABLO TALENT MANAGEMENT LLC, wish you and your family well during this home invasion. Of course, any invoices for repair or collateral damage in your village should be sent to me at once. Yours sincerely, DIABLO TALENT MANAGEMENT LLC By: (Ms.) Ursula Rottweiler Executive Assistant to the Chairman CC: Hamish Huanker Esq, Coutts' Bank, London W1 Ur/Maw//Casual/Social/CountryHouse Reqmnts— Form 7A.

True story. By the way, I like my dives when I'm so reclined.

Exactly. The list would have had some impact had it been correctly titled and its methodology defined. Zagat? I'd love to have the difference between their published ADC and Reality, nationwide, for one night.

Thank you for doing the math, Katie. I found it very interesting and wish that there was more discussion of comparative costing, from detail like this, to inclusion of pricing during restaurant discussions. It puts a lot of things into perspective, especially on an international website where there are also conflicting taxes and currency considerations in the mix.