The birth of weeniecello

[philadining]

Somehow, I think that "either brilliant or insane" is an assessment Andrew has encountered before...

[Andrew Fenton]

A hoax? A joke? I beg to differ! Every new paradigm has its detractors: it's widely known that the Pope's first response to Galileo was something along the lines of come on, dude! The earth going around the sun? Please. But we all know who got the last laugh; likewise, soon Salami on the Beach will be served at all the finer bars, cocktail lounges and Spring Break wet T-shirt contests.

As to comparisons with barbarians and Romans... well, let's just say that the Goths needed a little something extra to take over Italy. Black eyeshadow and gloomy music will only get you so far: high-proof liquor and red meat fill in the gaps. QED.

[Meanderer]

The historical perspective you bring to this debate is both impressive and convincing. I am persuaded. Make mine a Vienna Beef Sausage, though.

[The Old Foodie]

As to comparisons with barbarians and Romans... well, let's just say that the Goths needed a little something extra to take over Italy.  Black eyeshadow and gloomy music will only get you so far: high-proof liquor and red meat fill in the gaps.  QED.

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What were the Goths going to do with that ransom of 3000 pounds of pepper that they demanded when they sacked Rome then? They were "Germanic people" were they not? "Wieners" are "Germanic" are they not? Perhaps Alaric and his men dipped the rims of their tankards (?) in pepper before drinking their wiener-schapps?

Will we ever know the truth?

[Andrew Fenton]

Old Foodie, I think I see a research grant in your future...

Now, to respond to the SL's (bunge & kinsey):

Perhaps, because of flamability, it would not have been a good idea...but did you grill one post-soak and dress it up in a bun with fixins?

Tell us about the drunken weenies?  Do you think they would be good slapped on the grill and served alongside a Weenietini?

The good news was, the weenies were reasonably alcoholic, even grilling burned off part of the booze. Also, they didn't explode like beef grenades. (There's some sort of Molotov cocktail joke there, but it's escaping me.)

The bad news is that a hot dog that has been soaking for weeks in alcohol tastes like a lab specimen. You remember that kid in high school biology who, for $10, took a bite of his fetal pig? He might like these.

[Andrew Fenton]

Okay, a question for all you meat spirit connoisseurs. By this point, you'll all have figured out the logical next step in this process. What's the greatest, most savory, and fully delicious meat out there? Why, bacon, of course. So by all rights, baconcello should be next up.

But the thing is, I'm looking for a good breakfast drink. And I'm thinking that bacon and egg-cello would be even better than just bacon. But I need to figure out the best way to infuse the eggs into the vodka.

I'm not going to use raw eggs-- that would be nasty, and potentially salmonellicious, and wouldn't give the "Denny's Grand Slam Breakfast in a glass" flavor that I'm looking for. My first thought was to use hard-boiled eggs. But I worry that the hard-cooked egg proteins won't infuse well.

Better would be to whip up some sous vide'd spring eggs and then infuse them.

But my thought is to poach a couple of eggs directly in the simmering vodka; this will keep all the flavor in the alcohol. My question is, is there any chance of an explosion from boiling vodka on my stovetop?

[The Old Foodie]

My first thought was to use hard-boiled eggs.  But I worry that the hard-cooked egg proteins won't infuse well. 

Better would be to whip up some sous vide'd spring eggs and then infuse them.

But my thought is to poach a couple of eggs directly in the simmering vodka; this will keep all the flavor in the alcohol.  My question is, is there any chance of an explosion from boiling vodka on my stovetop?

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Hard boiled eggs can be pickled in vinegar (old British bar staple) - and the pickle certainly penetrates the egg, so presumably there is some permeability which is presumably two-way (where are the food scientists out there?). Anyway - the raw egg/salmonella thing may be a false assumption too - perhaps the alcohol destroys the bugs (food scientists please de-lurk and commit yourselves) - I've never heard from anyone coming to any harm from an egg nog. That might be the way to do it - make the baconcello into a baconeggnog.

Janet.

(P.S. I'm applying for that research grant straight away, meanwhile will prowl the ancient texts for inspiration).

[Pontormo]

Madonna mia! Andrew, have you no shame? I would like to point out that this particular category is called "FINE Spirits and Cocktails."

However, on the serious subject of breakfast drinks, a few possibilities come to mind:

1) powdered eggs and egg substitutes unless the object is not to transform the vodka into viscous gunk. While I realize you have come down hard on drinks that did not seem palpable enough for human consumption, I'm kind of having a hard time believing taste matters all that much to you.

2) Going for something more organic than processed? Make friends with one of your Reading Terminal Market purveyors and see if they'd be willing to put some interesting strong-tasting things in their chicken feed. That is, if say, egg shells react to the presence of garlic in their creators's bodies the way our skin does when we sweat. My scientific education is lacking, I realize. Then seep the shells in your booze of choice.

3) Highly processed? Bacos! That should take all of 6 1/2 minutes, I beat.

4) Go East, Young Man! India might inspire a few new ideas with its buttermilk drinks, for example, as long as you get away from the infusion thing. Sort of a take on buttermilk pancakes if you go for a mixed drink with blueberry and maple syrupiello.

5) What about fermenting breakfast grains? Don't we already have lots of breakfast drinks along those lines called beer, for example? Wouldn't raspberry-flavored beer be the potable counterpart to Wheaties with market fruit?

Should you return to the Italian roots from which these ideas sprang like Minerva--haggard, breastplate backwards--from Jupiter's brow, how about prosciutto e melonello?

Edited August 16, 2006 by Pontormo (log)

[eje]

[...]

But my thought is to poach a couple of eggs directly in the simmering vodka; this will keep all the flavor in the alcohol.  My question is, is there any chance of an explosion from boiling vodka on my stovetop?

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We were just talking about igniting liquor elsewhere, and Mr. Ed Hamilton had sage words. Flames are likely and explosion is possible.

Any time you raise the temp of your liquor you vaporize alcohol, increasing the likelyhood of flames, especially if you have a gas range.

(I tell you man, Ham n' Ale Flip could be the next breakfast of champions! I'm going to work on it! Though, I don't know why you insist on the using flavorless vodka for your experiments...)

[Andrew Fenton]

We were just talking about igniting liquor elsewhere, and Mr. Ed Hamilton had sage words.  Flames are likely and explosion is possible.

Any time you raise the temp of your liquor you vaporize alcohol, increasing the likelyhood of flames, especially if you have a gas range.

Fortunately, I have an electric range. Also, I live for danger. My feeling is that courting death make the resulting baconyeggycello all the more savory. (Burnt hair, not so much.)

[Andrew Fenton]

Madonna mia!  Andrew, have you no shame? 

Fortunately, no. Every so often I worry about developing a sense of shame; but so far I've managed to dodge that bullet. Whew!

I would like to point out that this particular category is called "FINE Spirits and Cocktails."

Trust me, this will taste just fine. And finer the more of it you drink! But I'm glad to see you're on board with this project, Pontormo; it can only benefit from your insight. Let me address some of your suggestions:

1) powdered eggs and egg substitutes unless the object is not to transform the vodka into viscous gunk. While I realize you have come down hard on drinks that did not seem palpable enough for human consumption, I'm kind of having a hard time believing taste matters all that much to you.

I would totally go this route, except that I'm not in

* the army,

* prison, or on

* the international space station.

However, I like the idea of a quick and dirty route, and I'll keep this in mind just in case my circumstances change. (Hello, NASA? You listening?)

2) Going for something more organic than processed?  Make friends with one of your Reading Terminal Market purveyors and see if they'd be willing to put some interesting strong-tasting things in their chicken feed.  That is, if say, egg shells react to the presence of garlic in their creators's bodies the way our skin does when we sweat.  My scientific education is lacking, I realize.  Then seep the shells in your booze of choice.

Now we're talking! I totally love the idea of chicken-hacking like this. Ideally, what I would do would be to find a farmer who I can persuade to feed his chickens booze. Lots and lots of booze. You know how hoboes and frat boys smell? If that pore-liquor smell works for them, why not for chickens? What I need to do is to give a chicken Jack Daniels for like a week straight; those eggs would be AWESOME.

Should you return to the Italian roots from which these ideas sprang like Minerva--haggard, breastplate backwards--from Jupiter's brow, how about prosciutto e melonello?

Brilliant; truly an idea worthy of Bacchus. Plus, it'd be all classy and whatnot. And if there's one thing I'm all about, it's class.

[Priscilla]

Can't you just see a BLTini?

Baconcello, and V-8, which conveniently concomitantly delivers tomato and salad. A toast soldier garni? Maybe not. But then, why not.

Thanks for the mind-bogglinization, ongoing!

[Andrew Fenton]

See, that's the kind of out-of-the-barrel thinking I like to see.

[FistFullaRoux]

Jeez, I thouhgt we were pushing the outer limits when we infused jalapenos and sun dried tomatoes into tequila in college. Salsarita, anyone?

I am impressed and disturbed. The egg thing, however is going to be a tough one. You can't cook the egg in the vodka, since the vodka will lose the alcohol. But, since egg whites taste of nothing, and the yolks are what deliver most of the flavor, consider a savory curd type concoction, maybe even with bacon in it, an addition for the breakfast boozer. Maybe a bacon/sausage zabaglione?

[lexy]

But, since egg whites taste of nothing, and the yolks are what deliver most of the flavor, consider a savory curd type concoction, maybe even with bacon in it, an addition for the breakfast boozer. Maybe a bacon/sausage zabaglione?

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Poached or hard-boiled egg yolk 'olive' garnish?

(I post this idea hesitantly - I can't decide whether it would be really awful or actually sort of good)

[The Old Foodie]

You can't cook the egg in the vodka, since the vodka will lose the alcohol.

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Not as much alcohol as we sometimes think - see <a href = "http://homecooking.about.com/od/alcohol/a/alcoholsub_2.htm">THIS ARTICLE</a>

[Pontormo]

Truly inspired, Andrew. It's very easy to tell you do stand-up for a living. As for originality:

My mom is totally o.c.d about hand washing and leaves a little trail of paper towels in her wake from all the wiping. It never occurs to her that someone has to come along and pick up her germy residue paper towels.  Take care of yourself girl! Sounds like you need Jack Daniels and Country Ham infusion stat!

1

1. Paloma in Comments to Laurie, "This Doorknob is for You," Crazy Art Purl: The True-Life Diary of a Thirty-Something, Newly Divorced, Displaced Southern Obsessive-Compulsive Knitter with Four Cats, January 26, 2006. URL: www.crazyauntpurl.com/archives/2006..._doorknob_i.php. Consulted August 19, 2006. N.B. Edited to remove direct link. Should the reader care to verify authenticity of citation, s/he should scroll through pictures. Four more cats and not a shot glass in sight.

Edited August 20, 2006 by Pontormo (log)

[Walter Moar]

Regarding the bacon and egger: Is it possible to infuse Advocaat with bacon? If not, I think that pickled egg garnishing a martini that uses vodka infused with crispy fried bacon could possibly do the trick. Make it dirty by including a dash of truffle gin?

What about a foie-tini?

[jcho]

Andrew, thank you. Insanely brilliant. Brilliantly insane. I am getting right over to your Rome blog.

Jennifer

[WHT]

Can the tuna colada be far behind?

[mod*betty]

Beefeater Gin anyone?

[Lan4Dawg]

and I suppose if some one asks for a "short one" you would use Vienna Sausages?

But a thought....would not the chorizo work better in tequila?

I am waiting breathlessly for the day that I sit at a base ball stadium and hear a vendor yelling loudly and proudly, "Get your weenie-tinis heah! Ice cold weenie-tinis! You know you want one! Weenie-tinis!"

[Andrew Fenton]

Disaster!

I got home this afternoon and noticed the acrid, meaty smell of liquor in the air of my apartment. I tracked it to the bedroom to discover that the cat had gotten into the bottle of weeniecello. Here he is, passed out, still clutching the bottle in his paw, his belly swollen and distended with booze:

Such a bad, bad cat! For weeks, the cats have been following me around, yowling and begging for booze; well, now I know what lies at the end of THAT road. I'll lock him in the basement for a day or two until he dries out.

And now I have to infuse another bottle!

[Pontormo]

"He" you say?

Look at him, the poor dear!

No wonder he turned to booze (with a wiener inside the bottle no less).

[hjshorter]

Can the tuna colada be far behind?

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God, I hope so.

ETA: this is the funniest eG thread in a couple of years. Thanks.

Edited September 9, 2006 by hjshorter (log)