Wine Marketing Gimmicks

[Rebel Rose]

And hopefully never will.

Tangential discussions have got me thinking--how do you produce a truly crisp, non-oaked white wine, yet sell it to a public that equates oak/furniture flavor with elegance?

I'm thinking we could tie tiny mesh bags of itsy bitsy wood chips or wood dust to the neck of the bottle. With a classy ribbon. Add your own! Five minutes for light oak, ten to fifteen for medium-heavy. Wine club members would have the more advanced choice of ordering light, medium, or heavily toasted oak with their wines.

Now, how to handle the issue of malolactic?

[Really Nice!]

Ooooh how about oak shavings in tea bags!

Malolactic... attached a pint of one of those imitation-flavored coffee creamers to the bottle.

After a successful marketing blitz into the tertiary markets, red wine would be next with a cross promotion with Smuckers Blackberry jam. Take that 82 Parker and turn it into a 97-100 in fifteen seconds.

[Rebel Rose]

Malolactic... attached a pint of one of those imitation-flavored coffee creamers to the bottle.

A pint might be a bit much, but I like the ziptop creamer idea. I was thinking of putting ML starter in a small vial. But that would look like . . . well, it's usually yellow . . . no, not a good marketing idea. Unless it's sauvignon blanc?