Is Childhhood Obesity Child Abuse?

[maggiethecat]

Here's a story I received when I booted up. There's a 14 year old in South Carolina who weighs way over 500 pounds, and his mother is being taken to court for possible child abuse.

It ain't pretty.

That's unimaginable to me. Sumo wrestlers don't weigh that much!

It hits home because my husband has a job taking a mentally disadvantaged man out for fun and recreation for 25 hours a week. My husband has goals set for him by the agency that employs him, and one of them is to try to regulate N.'s weight -- he's 5"2' 270. My husband tried to buy him a belt, but none would fit. N. has gout and diabetes -- he's 47.

N. (a very sweet man) will cadge food at food courts, delis, his dentist office, when he sees that the dentist receptionist has a candy jar. Because , although he is a gentle soul, he's made off with coffee cakes, pre-made lasagna, an Ikea employee with two kernels of popcorn when he asks for it. And gets it. He's big and scary looking.

Tonight my husband lowered the axe. N. and he had gone to a favorite grocery store and N. escaped by paying for a big box of Little Debbies before my husband could prevent it. Husband said: "N. We're never going to go to a store that sells food."

The State of Illinois says that you can't tell N. what he can or can't spend his money on. They're quite right. But if my husband 's work goals include looking after N,'s dietary guidelines, that requires a rating for the State, my husband is basically handcuffed.

N. lives with his elderly professional (slim) Asian father, who loves all you can eat buffets, buys Popeyes, likes the buffets on The Boats, He is a good man. N. is a flawed enigma. Should his father be sued? Should my husband lose his job because he can't legally prevent N. from buying Little Debbies?

Well, as you see, this story resonated with me. What think you?

[KatieLoeb]

I have a bit more of a problem with a minor being that morbidly obese than a grown man, regardless of his mental abilities. Legally, N. is an adult. Hence the state saying we can't tell him what to spend his money on. That adolescent boy is going to have a heart attack before he's 20, if he lives that long.

I saw a clip of this on the news today. That young man is in for a world of health problems. His mother is economically disadvantaged and works second and third shift to make ends meet, and I sympathize with her plight. But honestly, in the time it takes her to sit in line at the fast food drive through, and for the same cost or less, she could stock up the fridge with healthier prepared food options and help her son get back to a normal healthy weight. 550 pounds is not just a little "baby fat" - it's a serious eating disorder that needs to be addressed. I'm truly not certain whether suing her or putting her child in foster care is the answer though. Couldn't Social Services send over a nutritionist or some other form of aid and assistance? They'll help feed folks when they can't make ends meet. Howzabout helping feed them better?? Seems a lot more humane and cost effective both over the short term (grocery costs) and the long term (health care costs) than separating the child from his mother. It's not like the mom has Munchhausen's by Proxy and is stuffing the boy to get in the newspapers. She's letting him eat junk food because she mistakenly believes it's more convenient and cost effective. Showing her a better/healthier way seems a far more intelligent alternative.

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life..."

[heidih]

There is at least one reality show about incredibly large people whose name I can't remember, but the bottom line it has shown me is that, just like alcoholics, these people are not simply making poor nutritional choices or lacking in willpower. This is a can of worms that I do not think even professionals have the answer to. With a child you probably have legal ways to force a food plan. The mother may be "enabling" or whatever the current catch phrase is, but I would venture to guess the child is sneaking food and lying. Lying not because he or she is bad, but because they are ill. There is no simple solution.

I also do not think this child is the dramatic statement for general childhood obesity. 500 pounds is not too many Little Debbies or Big Macs. I tend to believe there are many children today who are more moderately overweight than the news story because of fast food, a total processed food diet, and no exercise. I have witnessed this with poor families living in tiny apartments, no place for kids to play, and Cup of Noodles or Top Ramen being the cheapest most filling food for parents working several jobs. I do not think you can compare a perhaps correctable situation like the latter, with an illness like the dramatic news story.

[skipper10]

Here's a story I received when I booted up. There's a 14 year old in South Carolina who weighs way over 500 pounds, and his mother is being taken to court for possible child abuse.

It ain't pretty.

That's unimaginable to me. Sumo wrestlers don't weigh that much!

It hits home because my husband has a job taking a mentally disadvantaged man out for fun and recreation for 25 hours a week. My husband has goals set for him by the agency that employs him, and one of them is to try to regulate N.'s weight -- he's 5"2' 270. My husband tried to buy him a belt, but none would fit. N. has gout and diabetes -- he's 47.

N. (a very sweet man) will cadge food at food courts, delis, his dentist office, when he sees that the dentist receptionist has a candy jar. Because , although he is a gentle soul, he's made off with coffee cakes, pre-made lasagna, an Ikea employee with two kernels of popcorn when he asks for  it. And gets it. He's big and scary looking.

Tonight my husband lowered the axe. N. and he had gone to a favorite grocery store and N. escaped by paying for a big box of Little Debbies before my husband could prevent it. Husband said: "N. We're never going to go to a store that sells food."

The State of Illinois  says that you can't tell N. what he can or can't spend his money on. They're quite right. But if my husband 's work goals include looking after N,'s dietary guidelines, that requires a rating for the State, my husband is basically handcuffed.

N. lives with his elderly professional (slim) Asian father, who loves all you can eat buffets, buys Popeyes, likes the buffets on The Boats, He is a good man. N. is a flawed enigma. Should his father be sued? Should my husband lose his job because he can't legally prevent N. from buying Little Debbies?

Well, as you see, this story resonated with me. What think you?

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I wonder if the boy has access to medical care. The reporter does not say whether he has been examined by an endocrinologist, psychiatrist, etc. I think, at this stage, he needs a good doctor, not foster parents.

[maggiethecat]

I agree that good medical care, not foster parents is a better solution.As I said, N.'s father is a good man (a high school teacher) but handling his son's mental disability and his eating problem is too much for him. When does Social Services or the State get involved? And N. isn't anywhere near as heavy as the young man in question.

Many of us have struggled to lose 30 or 20 or 10 pounds. Imagine being 14 and trying somehow to lose over 300 pounds?

My mind is darting back and forth. I don't want Mom to go to jail, or lose custody, but how in the name of God did this happen?

[skipper10]

I agree that good medical care, not foster parents is a better solution.As I said, N.'s father is a good man (a high school teacher) but handling his son's mental disability and his eating problem is too much for him. When does Social Services or the State get involved? And N. isn't anywhere near as heavy as the young man in question.

Many of us have struggled to lose 30 or 20 or 10 pounds. Imagine being 14 and trying somehow to lose over 300 pounds?

My mind is darting back and forth. I don't want Mom to go to jail, or lose custody, but how in the name of God did this happen?

←

Thyroid? Psychological issues? With absent dad and tired mom, food may be the only source of comfort. Poor kid. Poor mom.

[KatieLoeb]

Maggie:

Social Services shouldn't have to be called in only in a crisis situation. It shouldn't be punitive toward the parents. There are many programs that are meant to ease those burdens before it becomes a crisis. Has N.'s father truly availed himself of all that the state might be able to provide in terms of assistance for dealing with a mentally challenged adult son?? Surely, there are programs or assistance even for those of modest means. Simply throwing in the towel because it's "too much for him" doesn't seem to be the best solution. Perhaps N.'s father could inquire with a local hospital or social service agency?

Maybe this is where your husband could be most helpful. Navigating the choppy waters of finding the needed assistance. Does the agency that employs your husband have any connections to help out N.'s overwrought dad? I wonder if all the stones have been turned over in terms of seeking assistance...

Edited July 23, 2009 by KatieLoeb (log)

[snowangel]

Maybe this is where your husband could be most helpful.  Navigating the choppy waters of finding the needed assistance. Does the agency that employs your husband have any connections to help out N.'s overwrought dad?  I wonder if all the stones have been turned over in terms of seeking assistance...

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Bingo! As many know, I have a child (now a teen, now that I think about it!), and to quote something, "it takes a village to raise a child" -- you can read about some of her eating challenges here.

Heidi's disability (Angelman Syndrome) includes some eating problems (oral motor problems, for the OTs and SLPs who are lurking). Were it not for the folks that have been involved in our lives for many, many years, and intervened, and helped us find good medical care (in our case, a developmental pediatrician), good social services which eased our way into the school system, etc., etc. Heidi is lucky. She has a good support system that provides her and her family with the resources necessary. She is still rather tiny, which is a blessing.

But, in many cases (just ask a parent or care-giver of a person with Prader-Willi Syndrome), too many fast food meals are not the culprit.