Man

Welcome and i hope your transit is prolonged! I think a certain reader of this fourm is going to buy himself a little frame for this

Nah, you cynical lot, it's just a regular disorder (think of bulimia or anorexia), recognised by the main professional bodies such as the American Psychiatric Association. I trust the police in this country, like in other normal countries, to do by and large what it has to do in terms of charges. Believe me, I come from a country whose very form of government is kleptocracy: I'm an expert.

And poor Maurizio spent a lot of money refurbishing the room with the big window on the kitchen area - obviously to no avail Actually, one criticism I have of Latium is not so much about the room which I neither like nor dislike, but about the clientele which is, in my opinion, sometimes a bit too rowdy, especially large tables (though probably not a problem lunchtime). By the way, Morelli and the front room manager big 'Signor Umberto' are opening soon a new place in Marylebone. It will be simple Italian trattoria dishes and charcuterie, what am I doing, using a French term to mean 'salumeria' , and their bread will be special (a specialist baker is coming straight from Italy).

Remember that kleptomania may be an excuse but also a serious pathology. (His statement indeed suggests he needs treatment.)

Right, trying to make the whole discussion less personal and stop embarrassing poor JR, what are the criteria for a good restaurant critic? Personally, on reflection, they are four: Writing skill. The ability to write in a lively, vivid, non-cliched way (this for me disqualifies e.g. A. Hayler, as well as some official critics). But writing skill no matter how excellent cannot compensate for the lack of other qualities: it's more of a minimal (though high) threshold feature. Food critics don't need to be full-scale novelists. Focus. Especially without photographs, they need to be able to describe accurately dishes, flavours and impressions without falling into the trap of writing a novella abouth thier own life experiences, relatioships and philosophy that strays too far beyond the food and the restaurant. (this for me disqualifies e.g. Gill, and partially G. Coren). Balance in judgement and responsibility. Some people seem to pursue their own agenda and express ridiculous, extreme judgements for the sheer sake of sensationalism. Robust opinion is OK, but ultimate measure and fairness is fundamental. It's also a matter of respect for the professionals in the kitchens. (this for me disqualifies e.g. M. Norman, as well as Gill again). Competence. This is a tricky one of course, as they are supposed to be the experts, not us! But we all have our own particular areas of expertise. Judging the performance of a critic in those areas, we can go on and try to infer his general level of competence. IN my case, this is Italian cuisine. It is hard for me to listen seriously to what someone has to say on anything else if I notice that the guy hasn't done his basic research and spouts nonsense on an Italian restaurant, because it reveals to me that he is not a serious professional (T. Durack with Sardo remains for me the emblematic example - damn, if you are paid to review a Sardinian restaurant make at least the effort of reading some information on Sardinian cuisine beforehand, so you can e.g. tell the difference between culurgiones and ravioli!).

Thanks Marcus, very informative. (I share both the claustrophobic feeling at Roganic and the praise for Viajante).

Funny! I hadn't noticed this, thanks. I must say, my esteem for Gauthier as a person rose after the urbane manner in which he came back at us after we wrote a negative blog post on his Soho place. I always respect people who, in any field, are more aggressive with the the big guys than with the litlle ones.

If 'execrable' means 'dull' I agree with you. (when in my OP I wrote 'evanescently bland' I had him as an ideal-type...) But I rather like the non-food stuff he writes.

Maybe, but I was traumatised when he wrote of Sardo that it was a fantastic Italian restaurant to which he would return every week for the rest of his life. Honouring that promise would have been a cruel but fit punishment for such a silly review. I like to think that he escaped to the other side of the world precisely to avoid honouring it. (For those who don't know, Sardo is a London restaurant specialising in Sardinian cuisine that, in my opinion, epitomises the perfect mediocrity of much Italian food abroad and thus would deserve to be swept away by the deserving ones such as, just to make a name, Bocca di Lupo, where a team of Brits through competence and serious work does for the reputation of simple Italian food more than thousands of Italian emigrees. Sorry for the rant, I tend go get overheated about this topic).

I'm far for being an expert, but at least I find it distinctly superior to whatever I've tried in Chinatown (now some years ago). Of course Hakkasan should be at the same level. For what is worth, Hayler thinks these two are the best in town.

I had a similar reaction at Roganic (haven't been at l'E), and I'm not a big eater. For me, it's not so much a matter of total quantity in the meal, I can always stuff myself with bread at home afterwards, it's that if the portion in any single dish is below a certain level, I cannot appreciate it, there isn't any development, it's just a puff of flavour. A bit like for wine - couldn't appreciate it with a 0.20 glass, say. In terms of quality, is there anybody who's been both at Roganic and l'E? How do they compare? If I really wanted to understand Rogan's cuisine, should I travel or is the London experience representative?

Visual prop (sorry about your computer misadventure David): Our experience of service has always been more or less like yours, so we were stunned to be treated like human beings and not cattle on our latest visit. But there were few people around.

Leeds. Why stop so far down South? Scotland is waiting...

Blimey. You don't mean he actually schlepped up to Yorkshire to do you? He was well fed as a reward, even if he had to endure some strange customs of non-Londonlandia: "And like so many restaurants outside London, their tables are blighted by unnecessary side dishes of vegetables." Vegetables on the side, what has the world come to.

(I believe JR used to follow these forums before I registered, but not any longer: anyway Mr Rayner, if you are still around, please look away now; I know you are shy). Is it just me, or is the landscape of restaurant reviewers in this country mildly depressing? (I know it's not a nationalistic thing as I find those in Italy as poor or worse with, as a bonus, a tendency to be fundamentally corrupt. Allegedly. Jokingly.) I understand that, unlike bloggers, critics have to show or pretend to be real writers, so that reading their reviews invariably requires a crap-ignoral effort of varying entity, attaining monumental with AA Gill. But even so, they range from embarrassing (like that guy who used to scribble on the Guardian, the unbearable Norman Matthew or whatever his name is) to irrelevantly grotesque to evanescently bland, with several variations in between. I used to like Matthew Fort, but the only one who seems to me nowadays to serve reasonably informative, sufficiently muscular, and by and large reliable write-ups is JR, somebody on the strength of whose words I might risk yet more the contents of my detumescent wallet. And "G9 chefs have made the terrible mistake of thinking anybody really gives a damn what they think" this year was quite memorable. (I also used to like Marina O'Loughlin and her approach, till I stopped reading her when she dared give a low score to Koffmann). Which 'official' critics do you rely on? Am I missing some hidden gem?

If you visit Piemonte, maybe attracted by the Alba truffles and the wines, don't consider only the great 2* venues of celebrities Davide Scabin at Combal.zero or Enrico Crippa at Piazza Duomo. I don't know if this is what you have in mind, but there is this little joint in Turin city called Consorzio, where the two young enthusiastic owners/managers source the best produce you can imagine, and have it cooked simply but impeccably by whatever cook is still managing to stand their fiercely demanding patterns of work. This is a place where I'd eat every week. PS: some pics here.

Locatelli was very far from achieving it, Medlar was truly truly excellent and enjoyable but cannot be described as a meal of the year, but I'm glad to report that the meal today at Petrus fully qualifies as one my 10 best.

A picture of the duck dish

What a pleasant little place! The crab raviolo was very good, but surprisingly also the weakest, in our opinion, of the whole lunch (this may say more about the excellence of the lunch than on the dish), the so-called bisque too creamy and lacking depth. It tasted absolutely pleasant, but a little more monodimensional than we'd expected. On the other hand the duck egg tart with duck hearts was a symphony of textures and flavours. The tart, light and crispy (puff-pastry), the mushrooms, intense, the egg, runny and luscious, the heart, soft and cooked just so, all played together to great effect. Thanks also to the nice wine sauce and the powerful lardons (we could not fail to compare the effective use made of them here to the ineffective use made of pancetta by Locatelli the day before), this was at one stroke rustic and accomplished, assertive and mellow. Mains (partridge and daube de boeuf) and desserts (prune and Armagnac ice cream, and a pear and frangipane tart) were also impressive. The service was very, very good. Medlar seems to have attained perfection in its genre. (Will write a full review at our place when we get some time.)

Hadn't been here for quite a while. Today's lunch was as good as ever: I didn't notice any deterioration in quality (intimated somewhere). Service was sweet and unhurried too, in a room only half full. Anyway, in revenge for all the times service hadn't been good, Woman drove them absolutely crazy making them search for a missing scarf, only to discover back home that she hadn't been wearing it.

Good point, with the company I use it would cost £45 plus 50% to Central London (Piccadilly), so even marginally more than a cab (though you get in return certainty of price and pick up service).

Compared to a regular cab, it's probably cheaper to pre-book an airport car service, although they increase their prices by 50% on x-mas and boxing day, the bastards. I've just spent the cost of a meal for one at a London Michelin starred restaurant on a car from Gatwick to E1 for Boxing day!

Probably it's because I don't get out enough, or I am a curmudgeonly old fart, or both, but while I've had many good meals I don't manage to get to 10 really great meals (including at the Ledbury), meals that last in the memory. My standouts for 2011 were, for different reasons: Piazza Duomo (Alba) Consorzio (Torino) Galvin at Windows (London) Koffmann's (London) Vajante (London) Apsleys (London) Martin Wishart (Edinburgh) The Peat Inn (Fife) plus... ...a couple of dishes at Hedone (not the clam broth ). Who knows, I may complete the list with Locatelli, Medlar or Petrus, still to go within the year!

Glad you liked it thampik, hope you like the dinner menu too.

Ian, where is your number 7? (I assume you mean 'La' Cantinella, but there are several by this name). Grouse at St John...hadn't thought of it. I'm obsessed with grouse, now that's something for me to look forward to for next August (to see if it beats Koffmann's and my other favourites!) Not surprised by your remarks on Zafferano or Hedone (they both seem to be prone to mishaps- though Hedone is infinitely superior in my view) but would love to hear about your incident at Piazza Duomo - was that service or food (or both)? My single visit there was one of the standout meals of last year (though my high-end comparatives are...incomparable to yours ).