Carrot Top

Reminds me of two stories heard recently: In a small town in West Virginia near here (you will imagine how small when I tell you this story made both the local newspaper *and* the local TV news channel ) one of the guys that lived about five miles out of town (a mere walk over the hill) was having car problems. It would start and stop, make funny noises, start and stop again. Being a country guy, he checked all the usual suspect things that he could, then assumed it had to be a computerized component. Had to get the car to town to the garage. It took him about an hour to get there with all the starts and stops, but finally he made it. Slow day at the garage and besides, they were all his buds so they started searching for the problem. They could not figure it out either, so they all sat down to drink bad coffee, eat Tastee-Cakes and shoot the breeze waiting for an inspiration. As one of the guys sat facing the car, he heard a noise emit from it. A funny squeaky strangly noise. He hadn't had any liquor that morning, so it surprised him. "Did you hear that?!" he asked his friends. They all listened, and yes, again they heard it. Walking over to the car, they looked under the hood again. This time, with a flashlight, they searched every nook and cranny. There it was. A patch of fur was showing inbetween two parts of car where nobody has assumed that *any* thing Ford hadn't made, would fit. It was one of them durn raccoons. They had to take almost the entire insides of the car out to set the thing free - and when he was set free he just waddled placidly off to the bit of field in back of the garage, apparently none the worse for wear. The owner of the car was worse for wear though - three hundred dollars the worse for wear. Buddies or not, that garage bill had to be paid. .......................................................... I was channel surfing several months ago and ran into a show called "Pimp My Car". Naturally, the children shouted out excitedly that this was something they *must* see! I sat down to check it out. Apparently what they do on this show is well. . .pimp up peoples rotten old cars. They take an old junker and re-do it, but re-do it in a certain uh. . ."style". Pimp style. So to speak. The woman on the show had a tiny old car from the seventies and apparently she had been eating her meals in it since she owned it (she was college-age) and the person who had owned it before her must have been also. It was disgusting. Spills, crumbs, torn upholstery. The guys started to tear it apart and voila! What ran out but about a dozen RATS. Yes, rats. They had made a nest somewhere under the back seat and were living there! Living the Life of Riley, too, with all the food pieces they could find. The guys had to get face covers to clean the thing out for fear of inhaling the droppings which were. . .everywhere. .......................................................................... Sigh. Yes I eat in the car. Two children who have had long drives to make twice a month for several years are my excuse. If we take the time to stop the car and eat the drive will take close to two more hours than it does. So I can inform you that the current rate for a detailing job by a professional is $150. Sigh again.

There you go. Multi-cultural exchange at its best.

MFK Fisher and potatoes: How to Cook a Wolf

Put us together and you've got a Top Gifted Gourmet Carrot. Suitable for many purposes but not for sale at McDonalds.

It is sad that the world has come to such a place where the term "appy" is in common use. I think the source of the use of the original word "appetizing" is for one reason and one reason only. Say it aloud right now in a NY Jewish accent. It sounds good. It is the sort of word you want to say over and over again. Now "appy"? No. No.

I don't know what the secret is, for sure, GG. "Rose, Grandma Gourmet" with her knishes and chopped liver had one thing that those who dine "mostly" upon McD's and other fast-food do not have though. She had a direct and meaningful connection to a rich cultural heritage through the foods that she ate. It not only breaks my heart to see the ways in which corporate America erases these heritages but it also just plain scares me a bit in some emotional or philosophic way.

Tomorrow is Veterans Day in the United States - the day that we set aside to honor our veterans of war. That the wages of war in this world have been terrible is an undisputed fact. But there are stories of food and of sustenance that are of interest that come from these times from the men and women that were there - wherever "there" happened to be. I can think of the stories of hardtack during the Civil War. And the adage that "an army marches on its stomach". There has been a recent discussion of MRE's on eGullet - used as a matter of course by our military and then in the aftermath of the devastation of New Orleans to provide nourishment to the hungry. Some of my favorite stories have to do with the ways that our lives have been broadened by the exposure of foods from other countries, due to the fact of deployment rather than travel for pleasure (which is not always done by everyone in this world for many reasons, some financial, some other). America was enriched in the sense of being exposed to European foods in a massive way during WW2. The foods of Southeast Asia, the tastes and wonders, were brought back to the US after Korea and Vietnam. Other countries may have experienced the same sorts of introductions to foods from "other places" brought home by their own veterans. The way of sharing our foods is common to us all, no matter where we come from. There is so much to offer when we break bread. I would like to invite any veterans, or anyone who knows stories of foods that come from these times, to tell us of your tales. Write carefully, of course. We must write and think carefully when these things are discussed. Let's talk about the good that the food brought, or the interest, or the love. In food we can find connection to others. In this connection perhaps there is hope. And some pretty darn good stories of carousing in bars on weekend leaves, too, I bet. Edited to add a final note: I do not "really" expect to hear people write in their memories (though I do most assuredly hope for some stories) in this time of ultra PC where everyone is considered suspect of some dread error in life if they have participated in humanity's wars upon each other. This is merely my own way of setting a place at the table for those who were there, and of offering a listening ear about the sustenance there is to be found in food and its ways, even during terrible times.

I'm with you on the idea that no food should be beneath our discussion and with you on the fact that McDonalds will not kill off people from eating it. There *is* "Fast-Food Nation" and "Supersize Me" to consider though. I grew up eating a lot of junk food. A lot. Till I was grown. I have no health problems and am not overweight. My problem with McD's is that: 1) There *do* seem to be an awful lot of unhealthily obese people walking around and a lot of them *do* seem to congregate at fast-food havens. Is it the fault of the fast-food havens that they are unhealthily obese? I don't really know. 2) People use McD's and places of its ilk to the point where they do not seem to know anything *else* about food. That is not only their loss, but it is frightening to me in ways in some larger sense. 3) There is something rather awful to me about the idea that many children do not know how to peel a carrot or eat an apple without caramel sauce or a salad without ranch dressing. Again, McD's fault? Hmmm. (?) And now McD's wants to pretend to be "gourmet"? Give me a break. At this point it seems that even McD's thinks its not good enough for our *supposedly* health-conscious, foodie society. And it will pay lip service to the idea just as many individuals pay lip service to whatever idea seems the new and upcoming thing. And *some* naive individuals will be somewhat fooled by it. It is the way of marketing - it is the way of corporate America - it does not show a great deal of respect for people - but it does make $$$. Que sera sera. ........................................................... McD's should stick with its core competencies and be honest about it. And as for the idea that it is a *bad* place to feed kids - until this society decides that children need to be paid as much attention to for their basic needs (time to play, neighborhoods to play *in* with other children, the ability to go out for a walk in many places without fear, a world that is filled with "concerned and caring" adults who they can turn to who are not too busy with their own *needs* and desires, parents who have the time and resources available to dedicate to taking time with their children for healthy meals and the teaching of etiquette and proper behavior) until this society decides that this will happen *somehow*, that resources *will* be dedicated to children, McD's provides a certain service within this society. Rather a twisted one, yes. But better than nothing. And so it goes.

Yup, it *is* an evil genius indeed. I'm still on the lookout for the good guy geniuses to come and save the world. They must have gotten stuck on the subway or perhaps had to finish watching their favorite TV show before showing up. Still, I wait.

Good point. Tell you what, though. McDonald's is one place (as opposed to coffeehouses)(with good reason, granted) where children - in all their difficult decadent surprisingly endless messinesses, startling sudden loudnesses and unfinished imperfections - are welcome. Their siblings are even welcome, and that is really taking a risk. And thank god for that. At least there is somewhere they can go without the parent needing to watch warily with the stern disciplinarian cap on, ready to jump. That cap can be quite tiring to wear twenty-four hours a day.

Man, you just keep on smackin' 'em down, dude. Righteous.

I just bought a new coffeemaker. This seems to happen at least once a year. In between coffeemakers, there are other lovely electrical small kitchen appliance thingies that seem to demand that I buy them. Sometimes they get used, sometimes not. What a clutter on the countertops, though! I long for the open spaces of the free-range kitchen counter and sometimes even clear it off, moving these things into cupboards where they then creep out at night to perch again on the countertops. How many small kitchen appliances sit on your countertops? How many have been jailed up in the cupboards? Of all these small kitchen appliances (yes, please do count the immersion blenders and coffee-milk-frothers and so on!) how many do you actually *use* often? I've got seven on the countertops. Only seven at the moment. I hate to think of what is in the cupboards. It will take all my nerve to count the total. What are your stats? Edited to add: Oops. Eight on the counters. Forgot to count the microwave. It seems such a natural, organic Part of Things.

Have a look at the rest of this New York Times article. Can anyone explain how this makes any sense, other than for a small number of American farmers, one of whom is quoted as saying that many would like to see the price of corn go to zero in order to receive increased subsidy payments? It's so wasteful. ← What were the specific forms of waste that you were speaking of, Michael? Great topic.

Daniel. Your sandwich post in the gallery of regrettable foods was awesome. Awesome. But don't try to take away from Shalmanese's fantastic attempt at glory in this thread of threads where the regrettable is adored. His latest effort was inspired, I think. Inspired. By what I don't know. But inspired! Glorious. I can tell a clear-cutter winner when my throat makes a choking noise upon opening the screen. Yes. It happened with this post. Congratulations, Shalmanese, and thanks again for all!

I dunno. They say that ignorance of the law is no excuse. Perhaps. But a "law" created by a man based upon studies of man and things does not always an accurate reality make, even if it *is* posted in The Great Wilkipedia. (An online reference. "Virtual".) Let's hear some more about that real hay, jsolomon, and all that goes with it. Heh. Seriously - no matter how the words hit the page here there's a lot we can learn, I think.

It looked rather like my eleven year old son's science project actually. One of them, anyway. Can't remember for the life of me whether it was the one on Geology or the one on Germs, though.

The 'nugget' exists and we will either digest it or kill it. If destruction is the plan, the we must discuss it and become educated in its Ways.

I agree with judiu. The term also used to be used for Jewish delis in NYC - you would go get something from the "appetizing". Probably derives from the idea of having lots of "little things" to "take out" which could be added to a meal as appetizers.

This is surely a difficult thing to sort out and understand. Heavily laden with the worst sorts of bureaucratic jumbles that have double-jumbled themselves into a bad macrame over the years that is impossible to unknot. . .requiring a good up-to-date knowledge of local, national, and global economics to understand what possiblities and dangers do or do not exist in the program or in ending it or in altering it. . .knowledge of farmed food production. . .knowledge of agribusiness and knowledge of the real-life workings of small farms. . . Most Americans across the country that I've heard voice opinion on this subject are *against* the subsidies. It sort of embarrasses them, this idea of subsidy. It seems almost Socialist in shape, un-American. But I don't think that *most* Americans know the reality of where our food *does* come from (when it comes from American farms). There is sort of an idea that the Dust Bowl ruined the small farmer for good, for the most part. Of course - this is what we are taught in our suburban and city and rural schools. But the kids in the rural schools look at the pages where this is written that there are no longer small farms and screw up their faces, trying to make the words change into something different by the sheer act of imaginative will upon the page. Because it looks like fiction, to them. They know that there are still small farms, because they live on them. Their families survive (often to not-too-great financial rewards) on these farms. Their friends and their community all live this same life, too. The true "small farm" still exists, and in greater numbers than those living in crowded places can imagine. Do these people get subsidies? Some yes, some no. As jsolomon said, "What is small?" A lot, I think, depends on those words. And as russ said - the subsidies go to growers of certain crops - again, knowledge of how these farms operate, understanding their budgets and their challenges (weather and seasonality?) would seem to be vital before one could really speak with knowledge of the level of correctness that exists in the way the things *are* being done. The emotional content that sits heavy and quiet in a mountain of corn, though, when we know that hunger resides in other places, that it resides in the bloated stomachs of babies approaching death from malnutrition or starvation in their mother's bone-thin arms, is tremendous. As it should be. And lord knows nobody loves a lobbyist. It would be great if *those in the know* could do something better and finer about this conundrum which has existed throughout time in every place in different guises. Will they? Will the exhausting attempt be made to unravel the twisted macrame? I don't know. But this is America, and we are much given to hope.

Is there any support whatsoever in the real world for these astonishingly sweeping claims? jsolomon is onto something. I grab my daughter's McFries because they're tasty. Not because of "subliminal" messages, whatever those are, nor because there's "snob appeal." McD's has a great marketing strategy: their salty, fatty food tastes good. ← Sure there's support for these "astonishingly sweeping claims". The supports to these claims lay somewhere in the endless varieties of studies that universities offer those in search of Ph.D's. If you are curious, do some research. Even the internet should provide some information if you do not have access to Lexus/Nexus.

Corporate marketing is responsible for many of the decisions we each make each day. In a subliminal sense. And it is responsible for which products are even *available* to us in the marketplace. Corporate marketing is responsible for the fact that the book "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" is sitting on a shelf of my bookcase. But corporate marketing is ultimately not responsible for what I eat. Or read. I am.

It is the Panda Within Us.

Well you don't want to meet one in a bar! ← I guess it is possible that one person's gross and funny sex joke is another person's metaphor. Nope, don't want to meet anyone in a bar. Not even if they own stock in McDonalds.

I am sorry to speak the way I do (often metaphorically) for it might seem as if it were not connected to the topic. Therefore I will attempt to explain the connection. jsolomon spoke of pandas in reference to a post that spoke (again indirectly but linked) of how McDonalds makes pretense to being something that it is *not*. McDonalds is selling "quality". The claim made in the post was that their form of "quality" is a false claim. The word "quality" then was linked in jsolomon's post to the concept of making money. The word "panda" (being part of his post) could therefore be guessed to be a metaphor for "something that eats without ethical thought". My posts using the word "panda" were written using the original metaphoric comment. Sorry if it was confusing. Standard rhetorical form does allow for the use of metaphor. The questions raised in attempting to find "truth" in whatever claims are being made (in this case by McDonalds in its "makeover") are often those of credibility of source. It was this credibility of source that I was discussing.

Yes indeedy. The Panda Within Us.