QuinaQuen

By the way, I grew up a few miles from the real onion creek in southeast Travis County. That ain't no SoHo, vato.

A great heads up on the new farmers' market. I live a few blocks from the established one, and it certainly is bull!@#$. I get better stuff at the Fiesta on 23rd and Shepherd, with more variety and less haggling. But Onion Creek? I can't help but be apprehensive about the hipster element. Am I cool enough for that scene, and can real farmers work in such a pretentious environment?

How can you not know what a corn dog is? Do you live under a rock? It is a hot dog coated in a corn meal batter and served on a stick. Go to your local grocery and get a box out of the freezer section. I just bought the Oscar Meyer brand and ate four. As to why anyone would crave one, I haven't a clue. That is why I started this thread. Yee-ah, an ignorance of corndogs sounds so preposterous as to be a certain affectation. Heck, folks who live under rocks are the most likely to subsist of a corndog-intensive diet. Please, Dr. Crane, you're not trying to impress anybody here. You don't have to like them; hell, weenie sausages are one of the few things even I won't eat if starvation isn't an issue. But denying knowledge of them is a sure sign of ludicrous snobbery. Ookie beekie one of us.

Right on. My great regret is that my linguistic and social skills haven't led me into the inner circles of the various regional cuisines happening in this little big-ass town. But what's really weird? I wait with baited breath every time one of my chiflados goes home to Oaxaca or Guerrerro for a week, because I know they're going to bring me a bag of chapaulinas. And you haven't lived until you've tasted my chapaulina pizza with salsa verde. When raw skate wing in red chile paste with glass noodles isn't enough to raise an eyebrow, I know I've found a heck of a good website.

If you're backpacking in the cold, get you some Jagermeister. That's what it was designed for. If you're backpacking in a hot climate, just take more water. You can get faced when you return to civilization.

Ah, f'r' fiddlesticks' sake, just drink it. Nothing is so refined it can't be mixed with Clamato or RubyRed grapefruit juice. Mind you, don't be mixing the two of those.

Jeez, I hope so. That X-Men stuff is supposed to be imaginary. Still, kudos for surviving that little bet. I reiterate: capsaicin is the boozer's best friend.

Jeez, I hope so. That X-Men stuff is supposed to be imaginary. Still, kudos for surviving that little bet. I reiterate: capsaicin is the boozer's best friend.

Jeez, I hope so. That X-Men stuff is supposed to be imaginary. Still, kudos for surviving that little bet. I reiterate: capsaicin is the boozer's best friend.

Not too far off the machitos we get at the carnicerias here. They're yummy and all, but you have to be careful not to grill them too long lest they shrink and fall apart.

You beerbonged grain alcohol and suffered nothing but a little tummy trouble? I'm afraid a' you. Salaam!

Still sounds yummalicious. I'll have to check it out next time I'm at an upscale liquor store.

Still sounds yummalicious. I'll have to check it out next time I'm at an upscale liquor store.

Overheating? Well, you can't blame them for trying. I've been making knives from scratch for two years now, and Molybdenum Vanadium steel is probably the most resistant to goofed heat-treating of any on the market. I have: Blasted it with Mapp gas and oxyacetylene until it stretches like taffee Run it on the belt sander until it sinks into my (accidental) skin like an anvil into Wile E. Coyote's noggin. Whapped it so hard with a sledgehammer until it broke my (not-cartoon) anvil plumb in two. And after it all, it still holds a preposterously sturdy edge. Love them Globals. They're still the best knives on the market. But they don't require anything more than a ceramic sharpening rod. Any more contraptions, and they're ripping you off.

J&B is alright, but no one can touch Chapell Hill. Don't believe me? They're right next to each other at the store. Do a side-by-side.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Central Market might be the finest thing ever to employ a UPC scanner, but they are the last place you want to go for goodlovin'righteous sassidge. Hot Links are the exclusive domain of Southeast Central Texas, and they do distribute their product as best they can. Even Kroger can dish it out. Look for Earl Campbell's hot links if you can't find anything else. If you go to the right Fiesta, you might even find the f'real stuff from Taylor or Elgin. Heck, anywhere you go ain't but two or six hours from where you're at. You can't be that far from Taylor (hot links), Elgin (sassidge), or Lockhart (everything else). That's why the good lord created the V6. P.S. Is Jim Goode a fakey-@#$ punk, or what?

My oh my, what a story. Alas, my one good whack at a bigtime catering job passed with far less fanfare. That is to say, it just plain never happened. Will you please put this into solid prose and put Anthony Bourdain's arrogant ass out of business?

I make fresh horseradish every Passover, only I do it in the food processor (first shred, the chop) instead of a grinder. The effect is the same. In fact, I've taken to wearing ski goggles while preparing it. Taking the top off the processor is akin to setting off a tear gas bomb in the kitchen. I've had my cats sit up on their haunches, take a sniff skyward and BOLT up the stairs like banshees when I'm playing with the Evil Root. But if it doesn't make you cry it ain't worth a damn, I say! Yeah, food should hurt sometimes. Try doing Red Savina habaneros in the blender. Just a hint: A touch of vinegar in the mix intensifies the atmospheric sneezles. Warm it up, and it's even more fun. Do it in a crowded kitchen, and go for distance! Erik: You are a strange and demented man. I think I like that about you... Atmospheric sneezles??? Now there's a turn of phrase! I have heated up dried ancho chiles in a dry pan to toast them a bit and then covered and poached them in sherry vinegar. That'll clear the kitchen pretty quick too! And make you cough like you've been in a neurotoxic gas attack. What would you classify me as since i'd try the same thing with "Scotch Bonnets". That would really be a tear jerker. Use a Olive Oil to really bring out the Heat and the Chili Oils. Then when they surface add a little vinegar [just enough to temper the heat]. Cover the Top tightly and after the fumes settle they will be absorbed into the oil to make a powerfull codiment. Some day i'll publish the recipe for the 10 Star Sauce labled "Sudden Death" that my staff drew with a Skull and Crossbones. The Artist is now one of Hawaii's top Chefs. Irwin Watch the skull and crossbones; the nastier the name, the more weenificicatious the sauce. Don't believe me? Check out the Mo'Hotta Mo'Betta' ouevre and see if a nasty name don't indicate a sissy sauce. That's why our secret, request-only Red Savina sauce is called "Happy Flavor Sauce." And for the record, Scotch Bonnets are nothing but unripe habaneros. They taste good, they work well with that poor old British-influenced Jamaican cuisine, but they are a poor relation to the real thing.

That really is the lactose getting to you. If anything, the capsaicin is your Good Witch of the North on these unfortunate viajes. Without healthy stimulation, your GI tract would probably still be suffering. It's the only thing that leads me out of the scary forest whenever I eat chicken products.

No, we call it Ring of Fire. There is a genuine scientific term for the day after; Jaloproctitis. And it's the only thing that wakes me up in the morning anymore. Two endorphin rushes for price of one; how can you go wrong?

Your stomach is never too irritated for the spicy stuff. Nam Sod is still the ultimate hangover cure, take that from someone who has never worked a Saturday lunch sober from the night before. Ever. If your stomach can't handle massive capsaicin on the day after, then you simply haven't consumed enough booze to anaesthatize the stress of the preceding days. Try to consume more alcohol next time; I recommend Malt Liquor by the can in terms of easy volume. It's the cause that causes the tummy trouble, not the medication.

No, wine will hit you harder than anything. It's the sugar and the chemical composition of the sugar that gets you. That's why I don't do Night Train anymore. It's too much like Kool-Aid while you're drinking it, but the next morning is straightup Jonestown. Am I right?

Hey, hon, I want to hear about the seabeasties. Don't tell me you didn't have any revelations about cephalopods on your breif sojourn.

Oh, yum, are we talking about anise boozes? There's nothing finer on a hot, swampy Houston summer's day than a swigaroonie of anise liqueur straight out of the freezer with a cold Shiner Bock to chase it. If strega is equivalent to Ouzo, Arak, or Raki, then I'm all there.

But you have no excuse, Chris. Some decent Cognac's (and many of the similar brandies) are not that expensive. And they are available on both coasts! Uh, "both" coasts? As in, two important coasts? Ah, it's nothing new. Never mind.