QuinaQuen

Sorry, no idea about availability in Montreal. But it just recently started showing up in the ritzier boozaterias here in Houston, so a determined search of a cosmopolitan burg like Montreal should yield good results without too much effort. And they do have a website, though the address escapes me. When you do find it, get yourself a cafe sua da rig and some chicory coffee (Cafe du Monde or something similar). Becherovka and cafe sua da is the most delightful coffee-and-booze combination ever concocted.

I've had imitation squid made out of this particular product. It didn't taste like squid, but it did reinforce every negative stereotype of this particular marginal protein. No bueno.

One of my favorite veggies!! I love watching people try them for the first time when they realize it tastes just like peas. If I had a garden I would give this a try. I wonder how hard they are to grow? Well now I have to try them. I'll be off to Breeds soon as I can. Sounds perfect for me since I do really well growing the plant but not the peas. Breeds? Honey, the climate in Austin is very different from the climate we get here. Nevertheless, haricots are uniquely suited to out wacky GulfCoast climate. But wouldn't you rather buy the 2footers for a song from Kim Hung while growing nice litltle cowpeas in your yard?

Face it, kids, no operation is small enough to where a foreign object will go unnoticed. Animals have bones. Plants have dirt, and all the odd little things that show up in dirt. And when you find a hair in your food, do you even check to see if that hair matches someone in your party? I had a customer make a big stink about a roach on his pizza one fine summer day. I looked at the food, and realized that the offending arthropod was situated on top of a browned spot on the cheese. Yes, I knew it was a plant; that roach could not have possibly been cooked with the pizza, or there would have been a light spot directly under it. It couldn't have simply fallen on the food during delivery to the table, because the surface wasn't hot enough to immediately immobilize the most resilient arthropod on the face of this earth. But I comped it because I didn't want that dirty little scammer to make a big stink in front of all the other customers. Do you want to be a nasty little grifter? Think long and hard about where that foreign object could have come from. If it doesn't immediately threaten your health, just pick it out and keep eating.

You haven't had the huachinenga a la plancha at Tampico on Airline. Try it, then get back to me on fish eyeballs.

He@#$% yeah! Why doesn't the average human being realize how truly disgusting bovine secretions are in their unaltered form? I will eat anything - ANYTHING - on this earth that walks, crawls, or just sits there. But sucking on another species' teats is just too much. It's not the principle involved. The actual milk is just too gross.

Funny you should say that, because for years I have been depending on La Tapatia's tripas tacos for booze relief. There's something deeply reassuring about the taste and feel of well-fried tripas after a night of serious bombing followed by three hours of passing out followed by a harsh ring from the old alarm clock. As for the soup, it tends to give me such insufferable stankbreath that noggin pain seems secondary. Wonderful stuff, but please consider the length of your mouth from your nose...and everybody else's.

Dangedest thing, but since I laid off the NightTrain I haven't had a good'n'proper hangover. Probably has something to do with my rarely having to wake up for work without still being drunk. Forget the Chaser, just set your alarm! You can always take a nap later if you're not scheduled that day.

Had similar trouble finding Becherovka for a while. Don't worry, your esoteric siparoonie of choice will turn up before too long.

Give me Cabrales any time it's findable. Quina's theory on cheese: Good cheese has flies buzzing around it. Great cheese has flies dying around it. Then again, Stilton is a mighty nice standby. Take a bite of the most expensive Stilton you can find and tell me you don't taste the ur-Cheez Wiz. See? it all comes full circle.

Thanks.Word games never were my strong suit, especially when I'm blasted.

Didn't the Mesopotamians start brewing beer before the Egyptians? This is where the history geeks beat me down. Whee!

Singha is the ultimate, the culmination and combination of all that is right and good about beer. Boon Rawd = Boo ya! But it's so hard to find nowadays! I've had to fall back on San Miguel, which is so very might fine but not even close to Singha. Did the redneck in the white house declare war on Thailand without my noticing? Wouldn't surprise me.

Singha. Nothing will punctuate your high-dollar stuffalation better. Good luck, though!

Yeah, you probably did say so already. So tell us about the food already! With all due respect, it sounds like you all but asked for cheeseburgers while avoiding the rich gustatory treasures that Greece has to offer. Just kidding. But please, tell us about the food! Lay the heavy stuff on us! Seattle and girly you might well be, but how about the chef stuff?

Unfortunately not. Visual similarities aside, it works more like rosemary on a gustatory level.

Boiled peanuts? I can thank my dog@#$%gone South Carolina-bred grandpappy for getting me hooked on those. Trashy, yes, but wacky?

Luckily, my stint as an imperished college student (God bless the beasts, for without them we should all live like scholars - Rabelais coincided with my residence next to a Vietnamese supermarket. A few bucks for a 25# bag of milagrosa is what stylish poverty is all about. Rice with wasabi, rice with nguoc mam, rice with beans, rice with zanahorias en escabeche, rice with kecap manis, rice with lentils (lentils are never boring - Neil), rice with sau rieng paste... Get the picture? Yep, rice with sugar on top is some mighty fine sustenance.

Then again, cracked black pepper simply doesn't do the same thing as capsica. It is yum, but it is a whole 'nother chemical, a whole 'nother hormone, a whole 'nother experience. The same goes for ginger and wasabi. Endorphins are a big plus, but they are not the big draw. Stay with me here: Capsaicin has the ability not to enhance, not to augment, but warp the flavor of any surrounding ingredients. This ability actually brings it closer to LSD or psilocybin than to the cocaine-like experience that endorphin junkies tend to describe. The rush is real, the rush is good, but the rush is not the ultimate appeal of chiles. The true, the pure, the ultimate appeal of peppers is their ability to transform their surrounding flavors into entities of an entirely different dimension; think Dolby vs. mono. Train yourself if you have to. Endure endless gustatory and colonic pain. But this is that other level. When the heat doesn't matter any more, a whole new universe of flavor opens to you.

Tee Hee, that is sorta' naughty. Can't for the life of me figure out what pudendum it looks like, but it is deliciously lurid.

Most of the plants that make our cuisine unique are readily available at Fiesta or Asian Markets. And that's too bad, because the extra trouble can be a lot of fun. Check out the well-hung papaya trees behind the brick wall at Dunlavy and Fairview hubbahubba! I just got a'hold of two olive saplings, and they are game if not enthusiastic for this climate. Previous attempts at growing capers have failed miserably in this humidity, but I still hold out hope for their success at the ancestral home in Bastrop County. Anyone who has succeeded in coaxing a Durian or Tamarind seed into healthy adolescence, please let me know!

The Four Seasons does have a lot to offer. Heck, I met Simon Le Bon there a few years ago (sorry, Mr. Le Bon, it was the ex stalking you; aunque no soy yo). If you must go swank, though, the Rainbow Lodge is really the solamente shiznitt. And it is a pity: Anyone with enough squilla to travel here for the Superbowl is prima facie too rich to go to any but the most expensive restaurants. And I do hold to my opinion that swankiendas are more uniform in their tastes and offerings than any franchise. Guess we're just another town with a sparkly new stadium.

CM does have might fine pre-marinaded fajitas, though the marinade is the easy part. Fiesta (do you have Fiesta in DFW? Think of it as CM's ethnic wing without the markups) has very good ones, too. Seems like proper grilling is the hard part, though, not the marinading. Want an acronym? Try FMFTG. Fire Make Food Taste Good!

ROTFLMAO Please have pity on a poor pinche and translate the acrostic.

Ooh, ooh, Mista Kotta I got the good stuff for ya'. If you're after the stuff they sell at Phoenicia and Droubi's, check this out: Remember Kojak's on Shepherd? They reopened on 18th, but they're just a storefront for EuroMid imports down the street on Seamist. They're our main supplier for the more esoteric Mediterranean items at our little pizza joint, but they do Asian stuff, too. Their will-call is open to the public. Only catch is, the minimum order is $50. Trust me, that is easily doable once you see what all they carry. It's right by the corner of Seamist and 11th, not too far from Northwest Mall. If you're lucky, you'll overhear Elie putting a Lebanese-style Mr. Haynie on some poor, unsuspecting customer. Check it out, and tell them Erik from Star Pizza sent you!