I'm all about what I call (good) "manners" and don't care so much about what I call "etiquette". I realize this is quite subjective, but... Etiquette, to me, refers to: 1) a bunch of rules that people (throughout the ages) who had too much money and time developed to further differentiate themselves and exclude the have-nots, e.g., multiple and duplicate pieces of flatware at one place setting, just because you can, with all the respective rules of usage that come with them and 2) antiquated rules of behavior that aren't exactly relevant anymore, e.g., hands always above deck so no one would think you're trying to, I don't know, SHOOT them under the table, squeeze their nuts, grab their womens' thighs??? Those kinds of things in this age (IMHO) don't really show whether you are a decent human being who is considerate of others and possesses good manners. If you're one of those people who takes half the Mongolian Beef at a family style Chinese dinner because it's your favorite, but there are lots of people dining with you, I'd say you're rude. But if you don't place the napkin on your lap, or actually place your elbows on the table within your personal space, I could give a rat's ass - just leave some Mongolian Beef for me. Then there are those things that are just culturally relative. A friend of mine was telling me the other day about how mortified she was that her Chinese F-I-L would burp at the table, and her Chinese S-I-L would talk with food in her mouth. Now, these are personal pecadillos for me as well, but I think you have to put them in the proper cultural context. Such things are apparently not considered rude in their culture, and since she was eating with the whole darn Chinese family, I say, when in Rome... (which is not to say burp and talk with your mouth full - just try not to take so much offense). But then again, if the whole darn Chinese family were eating out somewhere else (i.e., NOT a Chinese home or Chinese restaurant), it would behoove them also, to do as the Romans, keep the burps to themselves and try not to display all your chewed up food during dinner conversation.