Fat Guy

I went shopping this morning and got the most attitude from a bagger ever. I had a bunch of meat items that I wanted packed together so I could transfer them to a cooler for travel. So I said, "Would you please pack all the meat items together?" And she said, if you can believe this, "Sir, I know how to bag. I'm a lady." I don't even know what that means. Is bagging knowledge considered a ladylike attribute? In any event, I can't believe this lady is employed anywhere, especially with unemployment so high. Surely there's someone out there to replace her.

Today I was in a supermarket and saw a sign: "Hotel Style Turkey Breast." Is there a particular style of turkey breast that people associate with hotels? Granted I don't visit as many hotels as I do delis, but still . . .

All of this advice is great. I'm feeling more and more confident by the hour. Just to clarify the logistics: I'll have no opportunity to practice or acquire my own equipment. I'm away in the country for the three days prior to this event. It's a miracle I even have internet access, but oysters no way. Then I'm driving from here to this party, where I'll have to shuck oysters with whatever equipment they have. I requested an Oxo knife but who knows what will be there. It's not a huge party. Maybe 10 people. And there won't be formal service or stations or anything like that. I'll just go into the kitchen and shuck a few dozen oysters. There may be a couple of observers, or not.

The Society is pleased to welcome matthews-table.com as an eG Ethics code signatory. Matthews-table.com is the "only genuinely independent restaurant and food review website covering restaurants, gastropubs, cafes and food shops in North London." It is written by Matthew Lewin, restaurant critic for the Hampstead and Highgate Express (Ham&High) newspaper. Welcome!

I'm showing up at a house. The oysters will already be there, as will a knife and glove. I'm expected to transform the oysters into oysters on the half shell. No opportunity to practice, select, anything like that. I've just got to go in with the greatest possible amount of information and hope for the best.

Okay I've watched the video and am absorbing these recommendations. I'll have no opportunity to practice, so any other advice is welcome.

Some friends are looking to me, as a culinary authority, to shuck oysters at a party on Monday. I've done it once before. It was an orgy of shredded bivalves and shattered shells. I need your help. Please, talk me through it so well that I can pick up the knife and do it without embarrassment or a trip to the emergency room.

The Society is pleased to welcome On Food and Becoming a Chef as an eG Ethics code signatory. On Food and Becoming a Chef is written by Antonio Martin, who is located in Granada, Spain. Welcome!

One thing to remember is that many people who make batters and doughs "without measuring" are actually measuring. For example, I know people who make pancake batter in a specific bowl. The ridges of the bowl provide a mechanism for saying "flour to here, milk to here, two eggs . . ." But to the larger point, although measuring has its enthusiastic adherents, there are certainly ways in which measuring is overrated. For example, when making dough for pasta or bread in a mixer, or in countless other dough recipes, it's best to add liquid until the dough reaches a certain consistency, balls up, etc. Measuring won't get you there. The ingredients are too variable.

I'll start. Despite the oft-repeated admonition in books (probably including ones I've written), articles and on websites always to call ahead before going to a restaurant, I often don't. I'm not talking about making reservations. I'm talking about just calling to make sure a restaurant that you found listed somewhere is still in business, still open when you want to go and hasn't moved to a new location. Take for example the restaurant Tong, near Union Square in Manhattan. Fully functioning website. A live listing on Citysearch. But the place is not there, as my family found out while standing in the rain in front of the establishment's former address. The phone number: disconnected. Should have called ahead. Woops.

We haven't decided yet.

We're planning to do hamburgers (grinding our own meat) and hot dogs for tomorrow's July 4th cookout with friends in Connecticut. Then our version of Korean BBQ on Saturday. Grilled pizza on Sunday.

To be clear, that's McWilliams's response to criticism of a piece he wrote for the New York Times several months ago.

The press release I got on 15 June said:

Let me add a voice in support of smoking. It's the best solution I know of for adding a little flavor to tenderloin, which while tender is not a terribly flavorful cut. But when it's smoked, it can be pretty great.

Drat. It was climbing high on my list of places to try. I probably would have made it there in July.

Yes, the slice operation in my experience is lame and prone to the chronic undercooking problem. It's almost like a different restaurant. Not because they undercook in anticipation of a second warming. I've never seen a second warming performed there. The slices get snapped up by waiting customers as soon as the pies come out, at least when I've been there they have. But I think especially when they're trying to do volume at the slice counter they haven't got great quality control and they tend to rush the pies. This sort of pizza isn't particularly slice-friendly anyway. I'm not sure why they sell it by the slice. I'm not aware of any other coal-oven operation that does.

I was dropping my car off to be inspected today at the Amoco station on 117th and First and, when I was told it would be 45 minutes, I realized that meant I'd have just enough time to get a pie at Patsy's across the street. I decided, as a baseline, to order a pie without asking for it well done. What came was this amazing specimen: It was such a great pie, I didn't know what to do with myself. I'm not sure I've ever had a better one in New York City. So, at least on this day, Patsy's did not fall victim to chronic undercooking.

There's a lot to be said for making doughs and batters by feel. Once you learn the proper texture, working towards that texture can be more reliable than measuring. This is especially true in the US, where the overwhelming majority of home cooks measure by volume, which is not a particularly reliable way to measure. But even if you measure by weight, which is much more reliable, you're still subject to varying moisture content of flour. I haven't seen a lot of people do biscuits by feel, perhaps in part because the admonition to work the batter as little as possible cuts against making lots of small adjustments for texture. But many experienced pasta makers I know do it by feel and appearance. Ditto for bread.

Even if every American had a bachelor's degree in agriculture from the University of Vermont, we'd still need labeling on account of the complexities of the marketplace. Consumers, no matter their level of education, can't be expected to do the research on every single product and producer.

What makes it a misleading statement? That a small farm in Upstate New York seems not to use nose rings? That four or five small producers carrying the Certified Humane certification don't use nose rings. "Nearly universal," as opposed to "universal," would seem to include minor exceptions like that. Is there information to indicate that the practice is not nearly universal? Maybe there is, but I don't recall anybody pointing to it.

I think given the complexities of the marketplace, and the reality that agricultural education isn't going to become part of the standard curriculum, probably shouldn't (basic literacy and math should certainly be a higher priority), and probably wouldn't help anyway (the marketplace is too complex for even the most informed consumer to go it alone), there really isn't an alternative to labeling. The question is more about how best to label. In the case of something like USDA Organic, you have a label that is fundamentally flawed. Whereas, Certified Humane seems like a very sensible label, not intrinsically silly the way the organic label is. So then the inquiry shifts to how to deal with label abuse. That's an issue, but not an impossible one to deal with, and its impact is likely to be far less than the benefit of the label.

Have a look at the Certified Humane website and tell us if you still feel that way.

P.S. I have the written recipe for lamb meatballs. Once I test it at home I'll post it.

Noticed a few new things at the Burger Bar today: 1. They've added a pulled-pork sandwich. 2. They've added a grilled-cheese sandwich. 3. They've added a selection of spiked milkshakes. 4. The burger price has gone down at dinnertime and up at lunchtime. It was $16.95 at dinner and $12.95 at lunch for a burger at the counter, and is now $14.95 at both services, in keeping with the new one-menu-all-day approach of the overall restaurant.