PONT DE LA TOUR

[Simon Majumdar]

There are basic rules involved when taking important ( and in this case, nice ) clients out to dinner

a) The setting is more important than the food although it is rarely good form for them to go home in a body bag after a bout of botulism

b) The service should be impeccable

c) You should probably spend a little more than you would on a meal for yourself

Pont De La Tour just about fitted the bill, the food was ordinary to say the least, the service was exemplary and a fraction of what we paid for the meal could have saved Getty Jr an ear.

We were seated outside which was wonderful as the weather was warm and our guests from Spain were transfixed by the sight of the sun setting behind Tower Bridge.

Starters were ropey to say the least. A tian of crab looked good but lacked freshness. English Asparagus looked fine but I didn't taste it. My starter of Foie Gras was risibly bad. A miniscule portion had been cooked for too long over too low a heat so it in effect stewed rather than "pan fried" It was served on a bed of what looked like baby food diced vegetables that my nephew would have turned his nose up at.

Mains were a little better. Sea Bream was fresh and not gussied up too much. Rack of lamb was cooked as requested, as was my beef. The real problem was a lack of quality ingredients. My beef was flavourless and I suspect the result of the corporate purchasing inherent in all Conran places.

Desserts were from the " hats of to the Pizza Express dessert trolley" school; a horrible "white and Dark Chocolate Bombe" a better Parfait and a Peaches in Zabaglione which had been flashed under the grill for just enough time to make it tough.

The wine list here is superb if very very expensive. A Puilly Fume ( makers name escapes me ) was excellent but at £65 it should have been. A wonderful Schaeffer Sangiovese/Cabernet blend from the Napa was about £55 and lovely but not worth that amount.

Service throughout was excellent. They aced the napkin test and were on the button with the wine pouring without trying to make us order extra bottles.

My over riding impression of this restaurant was the exact opposite of the view I had of LOLA's. Where LOLA's had a wonderful chef working in limiting surroundings, here there was a workaday chef providing ordinary food with not great ingredients to an expenses crowd via a slick corporate dining machine.

Would I go there again? With clients possibly? Our guests loved it. Would I go on my own nickel? There are not enough wild horses etc etc.........

4/10

[macrosan]

Great post, Simon. Of course you said it all with your "Rules for taking clients..." even though you missed a fourth rule, which is that the wine list has to be superb and very very expensive

I used to dread client lunches when they were paying, because I'd usually end up hating the food and not being able to say so. I became practised at saying "Oh yes, fine" in response to the "How is your meal?" question, whilst hiding the agonized grimace behind a napkin.

When I'm paying I follow your rules for those clients I don't know very well, or with whom I have a formal relationship. Places I have taken them include Rules, Tate Gallery, Savoy Grill and The Atlantic, none of them as bad as your description of Pont de Tour, but all chosen primarily for reasons other than the food.

I take my 'comfort' clients to places that I would choose for myself. Recently these have been Foliage, Petrus, St John and Chapter One.

Client lunches are certainly a great (and personally cheap) opportunity to try out 'smart' restaurants. It's not often an opportunity to really enjoy great food, because you're playing host and have to remain alert for problems with food, service and so on. That's why I absolutely agree with you that the service and ambience come first. If that's right, then you can at least relax a little.

[Simon Majumdar]

You are 100% right to split clients into two.

1) New and "clients to impress" Then the food does come second ( unless I know they are as obsessed as we are) to service and ambience.

2) Clients with whom I would be friends anyway even if we did not do business. This group often comes to my home, but if not, I would choose St john's, La Trouvaille and increasingly Eyre Bros.

Authors of course do not count and are lucky to get a wash down with an oily rag.

I don't entertain as much as I used to ( in so many ways

)

But when I do go out with clients, it is a great opportunity for no risk smart eating

S

[jayrayner]

Simon. Would you become my publisher please? The wash down with the oily rag sounds awfully inviting.

[tony h]

Simon & Macrosan - a question I'm sure eveyone is asking - how the f**k do we become one of your clients?

[cabrales]

the food was ordinary to say the least

A weekend lunch I had at Pont de la Tour during 2001 in the bar area on the right-hand-side of the restaurant (when one walks in) was poor. A single lunch may not be indicative of the cuisine from the regular restaurant menu. However, I have not liked any Terance Conran restaurant visited.

As Simon noted, the view of the river is nice. Neat (gastronomic) used to offer better cuisine (which does not require much, in the case of comparison to Pont de la Tour) with a comparable river view. Have members recently visited Putney Bridge?

[macrosan]

Simon & Macrosan - a question I'm sure eveyone is asking - how the f**k do we become one of your clients?  

BlindLemon, in my case it's not nearly as hard as you might suppose. For a start "prospective" client is more than adequate. You just have to be able, with the merest soupcon of credibility (oh shit, where is the cedilla on my keyboard ?), to convince me, my accountants and the Inland Revenue that there is a hypothetically reasonable chance that you might one day think of spending money with my company. Even having a possible future advisory connection with such a person would qualify. You just have to have something to do with the magazine publishing industry, so I guess if you have ever read a magazine, you're in the frame.

Then you have to know my phone number, you call me, you say something like "I'd like to discuss spending a million or so with your company, I'm free at 12.30 tomorrow, and I'm very hungry" and there we are --- job done.

[Wilfrid]

The last couple of times I have been to the Le Pont, I felt the kitchen was coasting. Quite perfunctory food. A shame, because I remember spectacularly good dinners there when it first opened.

But I was struck by Simon's third principle for entertaining clients: "You should probably spend a little more than you would on a meal for yourself." I have found that this has changed with respect to many of my client relationships over the last few years. Increasingly, clients appreciate displays of austerity, not least because they view expensive meals as something they will ultimately end up paying for. It's depressing, but there are very few clients I would take to The Capital, for example. Although I am happy to take myself

[Steve Plotnicki]

I quite like eating in the bar at Pont de la Tour. It is mostly grills and a raw bar. There isn't much they can do to screw it up and as long as the quality is half good, especially in that setting. When I was there in February I had the scallops that were wrapped in a bacon rasher and grilled. Served with Beranaise sauce they were quite good. Not a bad steak frittes there either. On the whole, better quality than what they serve at La Coupole these days.

[cabrales]

Neat (gastronomic) used to offer better cuisine (which does not require much, in the case of comparison to Pont de la Tour) with a comparable river view. Have members recently visited Putney Bridge?

This might have been discussed before, but did members have a chance to sample the smoked foie gras at Neat (gastonomic)? I liked it. I wonder if Neat's restaurant in Southern France has that item.

[Gavin Jones]

To what extent do members think Simon's rules (a,b and c) should apply to 'dating situations'.

After all the issue is largely around whether the situation engendered by the dining experience is likely to facilitate the 'client' 'putting out'.

And if the rules need extending what additional suggestions do members have.

Not that most members of eGullet would ever think of anything except what they are likely to be ingesting, but it is perhaps possible that certain eGulletarians have ventured to dine with an eye on more than just the carte des desserts as the conclusion to their dining experience.

[Tonyfinch]

Next time, Simon, Why don't you try the Butler's Wharf Chop House.Exactly the same view, still Conran but a little less pretentious and expensive than La Pont de La Tour. Foreigners like it because it is that rare thing-a British restaurant.

[macrosan]

To what extent do members think Simon's rules (a,b and c) should apply to 'dating situations'.

Gavin, I think no-one on this board will dispute that Simon himself is the world's leading expert on this subject. His eGullet posts regularly incorporate related amorous events.

Quote from Wilfrid

Increasingly, clients appreciate displays of austerity, not least because they view expensive meals as something they will ultimately end up paying for

I find this to be a faddish issue. Every now and then (according to public mood) this appreciation of austerity takes hold. It lasts a short while, then reverts to "normal". My own rule is very simple. The way I entertain my clients incorporates a view of the importance to me of the client, and their own standards. So the MD of a large company, who is used to eating at expensive places will be taken by me to an expensive place; a middle manager in a small company will more likely be taken by me to a 'local' middle-market restaurant.

That is the same rule I apply to entertaining guests at home, where the level of entertainment takes into account the relationship I have with the guest, and what I perceive to be the standard of cuisine and wine they are accustomed to. That is as much to do with making my guests feel comfortable as it is a pecuniary "value for money" judgement. The latter consideration is obviously important in the business concept.

Incidentally, I do not believe that business entertaining has ever directly brought me any business. What it does is help to develop a 'social' and informal relationship which makes doing business easier, and indeed more enjoyable. A business lunch is an opportunity to exchange personal information and attitudes which rarely come to light over a desk, and often a mutual knowledge by me of my client's attitudes and vice versa will lead to a stronger and more mutually respectful business relationship.

[Simon Majumdar]

Gavin - there are some obvious rules for date dining

1) Fly honeys ( ahem!) very rarely care about the food. In fact it is pointless to spend too much on dinner as they will be bringing it all up later anyway. Go for somewhere either

a) dark ( a pre requisite when you look like me ) so they can imagine being there with someone called Brad or Josh

b) Loud and Spangly - so if they are dull as ditch, you have a distraction

2) Costs for the meal should be in direct relation to the number of the date. So, if it is a first date, then prepare to impress and flash the cash.

If it is a second date, then you should show your sensitive side and go somewhere cheap but with great food so you can pretend you ( you in general, not you in particular, Gavin ) do not redefine shallow on a daily basis.

Of course, if it is a third date, you will have either pulled or are never going to so you can go anywhere where the server ends by saying " would you like fries with that"

3) The man should always pay. If a woman is going to have to spend upwards of three hours in my company the least the poor mare deserves is a free meal.

4) All restaurants for dates should have the exits clearly marked so that if the woman starts talking about

a) Her feelings

b) Her past boyfriends

c) babies

d) Commitment or even worse, marriage,

you can make a dash for the nearest escape route

5) Try and have the restaurant near a dry cleaner. If you follow the above rules, you will, as I have on innumerable occasions end up with most of the menu or at least red wine, poured over you.

Warning: Byriani is a bitch to get of a linen jacket.

Hope this helps

S ( The Shaman of rough & tumble )

[Tonyfinch]

.

Warning: Byriani is a bitch to get of a linen jacket.

Funny,when I got Byriani home she slipped off her linen jacket without demur.

[macrosan]

See, Gavin? I told you the Great Majum was your man Oh where were you, Simon, in those distant days when I could have benefitted from such wisdom ?

[Simon Majumdar]

Simon. Would you become my publisher please? The wash down with the oily rag sounds awfully inviting.

Jay, I forgot to mention that the oily rag is instead of an advance.

I am sure I would not be able to match the sky high figures that a man such as you demands

S

[Gavin Jones]

Simon,

thankyou. Clearly I have been doing it all wrong as currently it takes me around 18 months to get to the red wine and curry over clothing stage of the 'relationship'. Your tips will enable me to accelerate my progress through the few remaining short-sighted and deaf members of the population who have yet to 'catch my eye'.

[Steve Plotnicki]

Hey guys this is a food website. Stop talking about dating and sex. Go take it outside to a place like Britdate.com. (I would post pictures of pie here (which I am throwing at you) and a few dozen "Stops" in gigantic and colorful lettering if I knew anything about computers.) Otherwise carry on.

[Tonyfinch]

currently it takes me around 18 months to get to the red wine and curry over clothing stage of the 'relationship'.

EIGHTEEN MONTHS!!?? I used to be at the spewing red wine and curry over the clothing stage by 18 months.

Not too many of my relationships lasted 19 months.

[Simon Majumdar]

Months?!!!

I judge mine in minutes.

But Steve is right, back to the food

S

[Andy Lynes]

This is very much about the dining experience and is entertaining so in my official capacity and eGullet Community Co-ord I pronounce that this is not a pie moment. I thank you.

[Steve Plotnicki]

"I pronounce that this is not a pie moment"

Andy - I couldn't agree more. And neither was that other instance I might add.

[Gavin Jones]

Thankyou Andy, it was very much in the context of dining that I enquired.

We can only speculate what a date with Steve P. would be like.

[Simon Majumdar]

We can only speculate what a date with Steve P. would be like.

You would get to eat great food and drink amazing wine, but you would have to be his bitch.