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Embarrasing Libations


BigDuck

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My mom always insists on trying my red wine. Then she makes a grimace and

shakes. She's more of the Wild Vines school which frightens me. I went to her house and she offered me a glass of Wild Irish Rose. I asked her how long she'd been living under a bridge. :unsure:

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I went to her house and she offered me a glass of Wild Irish Rose.  I asked her how long she'd been living under a bridge. :unsure:

Did you go in the alley and drink it next to the dumpster?

To really enjoy "The Rose" I heaped

all my belongings into a shopping cart.

Then I befriended a stray dog which I tethered

to the cart with some twine. I had the good fortune

of finding a bottle of "the Rose" in some shrubbery, still

in its protective brown bag. All the prime spots by my favorite

dumpster were taken, so I started a fire in a 50 gallon drum not

far away. The air was thick with the sweet perfume of public urination and

the fetid rot of the rendering plant. I raised the nectar to my dry lips and

let it roar down my throat. Just as the sweet burn blessed my ulcer, I met with

a stiff kick from a Fred Durst lookalike...

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Grapefruit? Fruit Punch? Cranberry?

Naw, y'all. That premixed kind. In the bumpy bottle.

If I have to mix my own, fruit punch. For shizzy.

Noise is music. All else is food.

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Not me, but friends of mine:

Red wine with ice cubes.

Jack Daniels and OJ.

Old Grandad.

Kiwi-flavored MD 2020 & Schmirnoff (takes top honors for horrible).

Southern Comfort and diet Pepsi.

Gin and Mountain Dew.

What most often gets shouts of disgust from folks when I drink it, is Corona with Tabasco sauce, salt and lime. To me, this is the only way Corona is palatable. Or perhaps it's just my compulsion to make everything as like to Bloody Marys as possible. Luckily, the people who are shouting with disgust at me are the same people who drink gin with Mountain Dew, so I am easily able to belittle them.

Noise is music. All else is food.

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On Tuesday, I was having a bad day, so my best friend took me out for dinner and drinks. When we had finished our dessert martinis (yum), we thought we'd stop at a wine and spirits shop on the way home and pick up a bottle of sparkly or the like. While we were meandering about the store, my friend let out an excited yelp at a bottle of "Tequila Rose," saying it was "really tasty shit" and I was "really missing out." I had never even heard of the stuff, but I went along with her suggestion because she had done a very good job up to that point of cheering me up.

Upon arrival at the apartment, she poured a glass of the stuff into a glass with ice. It looked like Pink Bismuth. My sister was disgusted at the mere thought of us pouring this drink down our throats, but we did anyway. Pretty soon after, my friend had her head down on our dining room table, and that was the end of the Tequila Rose adventure.

The next morning, before I left for work, I was sure to leave her a note stating: "Make sure you pick up your Tequila Rose on your way out."

A pretty sickening libation... :wacko:

"There is no worse taste in the mouth than chocolate and cigarettes. Second would be tuna and peppermint. I've combined everything, so I know."

--Augusten Burroughs

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My sister was disgusted at the mere thought of us pouring this drink down our throats, but we did anyway.

You're right I was disgusted. And you're right you did it anyway.

Your friend's note on the counter back to us read: "You'd better learn respect for the Tequila Rose. It is a strawberry-tequila flavored dream."

Another nasty one: Tequiza. :shock:

Noise is music. All else is food.

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Gin and Mountain Dew.

This one really gave me the cobbywoggles.. My vote for the most horrible drink yet mentioned.

As many distinguished whisky/rum drinkers have already mentioned: Coke as a mixer. In anything.

I have never used Red Bull as a mixer, and it amazes me that anyone would shame booze of any kind that way.

Red Bull is horrid tasting..You will get an idea of my work schedule in a previous exisitence by the fact that a Red Bull sat in the cupholder both to and from work.

Margaret McArthur

"Take it easy, but take it."

Studs Terkel

1912-2008

A sensational tennis blog from freakyfrites

margaretmcarthur.com

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My first drunk was on coconut rum - Captain Morgan's, I think. To this day, the smell nauseates me. On the other hand, I have a friend who lives for Vin Rose - the $5/gallon stuff.

"Long live democracy, free speech and the '69 Mets; all improbable, glorious miracles that I have always believed in."

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What most often gets shouts of disgust from folks when I drink it, is Corona with Tabasco sauce, salt and lime.  To me, this is the only way Corona is palatable.  Or perhaps it's just my compulsion to make everything as like to Bloody Marys as possible.  Luckily, the people who are shouting with disgust at me are the same people who drink gin with Mountain Dew, so I am easily able to belittle them.

Sounds similar to a Michilada:

Negro Modelo, lime juice, tabasco

I guess I can put that on my list. I have to be in the mood for it, but I do like 'em. :raz:

Challah back!

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