fresco

New Yorkers are justly proud of their drinking water. The stuff that comes out of our taps in Toronto is generally not wonderful, and in unseasonably hot summers has an unpleasant vegetal taste. What's the best and worst that you have tried?

Don't know how popular these are in other parts, but there are a couple of places in Toronto that are quite famous for their breaded, pan fried veal sandwiches. They're pretty terrific. Another sort of regional specialty--churrasco chicken sandwiches (barbecued with I think piri piri hot sauce)--in Portuguese joints around town.

Crow, mainly. When news of our impending nuptials made it back to my home town, three of my friends from childhood phoned to announce they were hopping a plane, whereupon my wife-to-be burst into tears, which were entirely justified. They arrived pissed, mainly stayed pissed for three days and left pissed.

Think we have the beginnings here of a "vastly overrated food that is not worth the trouble" thread.

'While wineries should focus on making such affordable approximates, they should try to rise above the common perception of wine as snooty. Jeff Rahn, manager of brand marketing for Round Table Pizza, told the audience how the company capitalized on the consumer flight to premium brands and interest in the Napa lifestyle with the launch in the spring of the Napa pizza with special ingredients. "This is a $13 pizza people can buy and think they are living the high life," he said.' The gilded age, one slice at a time.

If you are over 350 pounds and ravenous, maybe torturing yourself with a three-hour wait is part of the charm.

No such luck. I live in fear that the city will find out it is there and designate it a "heritage tree" or some such. When we bought this place a few years ago I did remove six poplars that had taken root and grown to great heights through the negligence of past owners. Black walnuts are spoken of in reverent whispers hereabouts.

"Call them up the city, explain what a rare and wonderful delicacy the nuts are and offer to share your bounty with them." They'd probably charge me with being an unlicenced food vendor. A few years ago, when I was renovating a tiny Victorian house on a tiny Victorian lot (12 feet wide) I was preparing to remove an enormous spruce tree that some idiot had planted right in front of the house at some point. It took up the entire front yard and blocked every bit of natural light from both main floor and second floor windows. In the midst of this, I had a visit from some guy who called himself the "chief urban forester" who informed me that he could charge me, fine me some incredible amount etc etc. but upon checking their regulations he realized it was an "inappropriate species" and they would remove it for me.

Mark, We have thought a lot about cutting down the tree just to get rid of the nuisance and hazard. But doing so would probably net me a life sentence, the city of Toronto bureaucracy being what it is.

The tree hangs over into my neighbor's yard and they whine endlessly about it in season. But then, they whine endlessly.

I knew hulling them was a pain in the ass, but where does all this stuff come from about black walnuts being a rare delicacy? It sounds like I might be better off harvesting the squirrels. There are certainly plenty of them and they're well fed.

We have a black walnut tree in the back yard, hanging just over our deck. Last year it bore a bumper crop, which was a pain in the ass, because the squirrels worked overtime chewing the outer hull and spitting it down on us. But they are supposed to be unusually tasty, and rather than just get pissed off at the tree and the squirrels, I'd like to harvest and hull a bunch when the next bumper crop rolls around next year. Anyone have any experience with these things?

"The Cheesecake Factory's purposeful over-sizing of every dish is irresponsible and is teaching us to stay to the trend that is infecting the nation, over eating." If you go down that road far enough, you will close all bars and other places that serve alcohol because clearly, alcohol is a problem in the world and serving it "is teaching us to stay to the trend that is infecting the nation." I think it is clearly understood by the people who eat at Cheesecake Factory that the portions are huge. The same could be said about a lot of other places, including all-you-can-eat buffets, which have been around forever. It's unlikely that all of the people who go to Cheesecake Factory overeat, or if they do, that they overeat consistently. Most of us tend to overdo it at Christmas, Thanksgiving and other such occasions, but no one is arguing (yet) for a ban on festive holidays. But it may be coming. Come to think of it, the wave of Puritanism, obesity lawsuits and fat paranoia now gathering speed in the United States could be a good thing--for Canada. When last prohibition was seen south of our borders, Canadians sensibility stuck to their astonishingly moderate drinking habits and profited by supplying their thirsty neighbors. At least one great Canadian fortune (the Bronfmans, with Seagram) was built on prohibition. If there are legislative or other restrictions on places like Cheesecake Factory, I'll guarantee that almost overnight, there will be a slew of such places opened on the Canadian side of the border. You'll be able to overeat, smoke pot, get married to your same sex partner--all with the blessing of (or at least with no interference from) the Canadian government.

I'm not sure whether it is required that one dine at, or even approve of, places like Cheesecake Factory to take a lively interest in them. They do seem to be very successful and spreading fast and may well impinge upon one's life either directly or by spawning a host of clones. To the extent that restaurants more to the taste and liking of many on eGullet may be driven out of business by creeping corporatization, it seems prudent, at least, to maintain discussions like this as a Distant Early Warning System.

To: Miriam Firm, CEO, *****All Star***** Catering Consortium Inc. From: Myron Fetch, Assistant Deputy Producer, Food Services, New Line Cinema Productions Inc. Re: Proposed Menu, Wrap-Up Party, As-Yet Untitled Jack Nicholson Project Dear Miriam, Thank you for your extremely detailed proposal for the food and drink to be served at the wrap party next week for Mr. Nicholson's new motion picture. You will be pleased to hear that I had occasion to discuss it with my counterpart at Mirimax just the other day and he said, quote, "When it comes to food, Miriam Firm is NOT a piece of shit." High praise, I think you will agree, in our circles. Let me say from the get go that I appreciate the constraints that you, and *****All Star***** Catering, are subject to, and I am very sensitive to your reputation in the industry. After all, what are any of us, Mr. Nicholson not excluded, if you take away our reputation? Speaking of Mr. Nicholson (oh, what the hell, Miriam, since it's between friends let's refer to him as Jack) might I relay, with the greatest of respect and the utmost trepidation, Jack's very minor quibbles--I'd hardly even call them differences of opinion--with regard to your proposed menu. Specifically, and I know you have your heart set on your very special take on chicken salad for a main, but Jack unfortunately has had a bad experience with this very early on his motion picture career. Would it be possible to arrange some suitable replacement? While Jack wishes me to convey his heartfelt sympathy for your timing, scheduling and sourcing predictament, he asks that you take his personal preferences into consideration in your final decision. You will appreciate that I am paraphrasing, but Jack said something about proposing a special toast to you. Affectionately, Myron

Applewood-smoked pork shoulder, roasted broccoli (from eGullet), vegetable pan gravy (Jinmyo) smoked baked potatoes, Ontario strawberries, Quebec yogurt, tavel, port.

Just about to plunge into The Kitchen and the Cook, English edition of the food musings of Nicholas Freeling, the mystery writer. Cover blurb courtesy of one Anthony Bourdain: "The book that inspired me to write Kitchen Confidential."

At the risk of sounding like an Amazon.com clone, if you like John Sandford, you might want to try Thomas Perry"s Jane Whitefield series (Vanishing Act and several more.) Your basic caper serial, but reasonably well executed.

"Lodge." Out of curiosity, I just checked our battery of cast iron cooking utensils that date back 60 years or so, some bought, some inherited. These include a large skillet by Findlay from Carleton, Ontario, a pancake griddle by Javelin from Joliette, Quebec, a smaller skillet and an omelette pan marked Made in USA and another omelette pan with no place of origin or maker. No Lodge, unless they made a generic line. It's like discovering that none of your food machines are by Kitchenaid or Cuisinart.

It must be said, though, that the people who are willing to pay any amount of money to satisfy a unique food craving help to create a market for items that then often become available generally for a lot less. You see the same thing at work in consumer electronics, fashion, etc.

If there is a market failure--and I tend to agree there is--there should be a market opportunity for someone with the determination to do things different. Or do you feel that the present system of tipping is so ingrained that it constitutes an immovable market force by itself?

"What I am is a practical, mildly succesful, everyday person that eats what he likes, wherever it comes from, whoever cooks it, regardless of the name on top of the door. " You've just described the typical Egullet regular, I think.

If you start to add up all of the above ingenious tricks, you get the abbreviated eGullet Culinary Institute course.

Is there a competition at some state fair for best tomato sandwich? If there isn't, there should be.

Years ago, I came across brining in Jane Grigson's excellent The Art of Charcuterie and have since used it extensively for everything from pork and poutry to shrimp. The improvement in taste, especially for bland, dry supermarket meat, is considerable. What's the trick or truc that has turned your cooking around?