Busboy

I don't think anyone was offended and, like you, I often peruse websites, menu adjectives, the font and condition of the sign above the door and any other clue I can find to suss out the quality and nature of the place where I'm about to dine. As for the reasoning behind "suspicion" (and any other general comments anyone might have regarding menu wording in all its absurd glory, click here.

In response to Lancaster Mike on another topic.... Actually, there's likely a good reason for that. In French and in certain conversational circles (I was using it before I became pretentious, I don't think the users are too effete), when there is just a tiny hint of an ingredient (or emotion, in other contexts) one says there's a "soupçon" of garlic or whatever in the dish -- literally, a "suspicion" of garlic.

Anyone know where to get fresh pike? Slavin's and Black salt don't have it. And I don't trust those Maine Avenue guys.

No. There used to be another one on Connecticut, opposite the Woodley Park Metro. There's also some awful place in Georgetown bearing the name. That Napoleon dude, he gets around. I hear he has a pastry named after him, too.

Don't sue me if you get sick, but I leave stuff out accidentally all the time, eat it, and don't puke. How much did you spend on it? How easy is it to replace?

What they said. Plus: When resting any cut of meat larger than a strip steak I tent it in aluminum foil and usually rest it in something that is warm but not hot, or on the stove top (assuming there's room) so that the environment is below cooking temperature but above kitchen temperature. Also: when plating, draft one of your guests to serve while you plate. Cuts the time by more than half because then you can get a rhythm going.

Having googled the phrase enshrined above and discovered what I believe to be the website of the joint, I'd suggest that you have a 60% chance of having a meal of approximately the same quality as 95% of the other mid-level Italian places you've eaten at in your life (though in nicer surroundings than Luigi's Pasta Grotto and its ilk); a 25% chance of a better than average meal and a 15% chance of unfortunate glop. For reasons I do not readily comprehend, even good chefs tend to put their websites and menus under the supervision of wordsmiths whose heavy hands are matched only by their soaring pretense; turgid menu prose is not necessarily linked to turgid cuisine. And, in this case, note that the descriptions are relatively straightforward if -- as you noticed -- somewhat imprecise. It could be worse. Best of luck.

To build on Dave's suggestion, if you really want to show off (and I'm all in favor of that), do the traditional French thing and serve the salad with the cheese after the entree. And then start with a very swell amuse: a demi-tasse of savory soup, say, or this that I did once: Go to an Asian store (assuming there are any near you) and pick up eight flat-bottomed soup spoons, the kind that will "stand up" when you set the bowl on a table. Then get eight quail eggs (ten, actually, in case you screw up a couple. Then make baby-sized Eggs Benedict, possibly substituting some rare and exotic ham for the canafian bacon, and punching rounds out of a toasted English muffin with a small cookie- or pastry-cutter. The guests are then seated, with their amuses-bouches already at their places which they then gulp down in one bite. Very impressive, very cool and -- I don't know about anyone else -- but I like a little tart citrus and salty ham to get the taste buds awake before dinner.

You might peruse this topic.

I've also heard this paired with oysters as Bull & Oyster Roasts. I suppose Oyster Roasts, as well as the ever popular Clam Bake. N. ← The few I've been to have featured unlimited fresh-shucked oysters, but they don't seem to get the billing they deserve on the event announcement.

I just checked with Red Lobster, and they said that "to fest" was definitely a verb, so there you have the definitive answer, no? ← Under no circumstances is "fest" a verb, regardless of the opinion of the Red Lobster's corporate etymology department. Here in the Chesapeake Bay area local politicians and Lions Club chapters favor a Bull Roast. (Just googled "Bull Roast" to see if the term was truly was a Maryland thing and was pleased to find nine of the first ten hits were indeed references to Maryland events. And surprised to see this somewhat non-traditional variationwas being flogged on line. BAsed on the people I've seen at other bull roasts, I will not be attending.)

But doesn't living in the middle of nowhere mean that there are pig farmers nearby? Half the farmers at the markets in DC are from Central PA, though, I suspect, south of you. (How's the weather in Scranton these days )

Hye, now that I think about it I recall reading that frying in a cast-iron skillet adds trace amounts of iron to your diet, as well. So, if you sautee the clams in a skillet...

A friendly note from your forum host: As the good Doctor Sconzo said, one should be cautious in diagnosis. Additionally, one should be be extremely cautious in publicly identifying a restaurant suspected of malfeasance in a public forum, both because it is unfair and because (in this case) it is against the Member Agreement. I'm a DC local so I know that the byways in the greater Leesburg area are filled with local Salvadoran joints, so I'm going to leave the topic up. And, as long as we stick to the hypothetical "how to deal" aspect, it's a valuable topic. If we start playing who's who, however I'll have to take it down.

Dude (ette): linguine in white clam sauce, red-checker tablecloth style. Boil yerself some dried linguine (none of this posh soft stuff). While it's boiling, heat olive oil, a great deal (or to taste) of finely chopped garlic, and just as the linguine is finishing up, dump in yer clams. Drain the pasta, dump it in with the garlic/clam/oil mess and toss gleefully. Throw chopped parsley on top and serve with crusty (garlic) bread and cheap Italian red wine, maybe a salad. If you're feeling upscale, throw a little white wine and some shallots in when you sauté the garlic, and cook the wine down. A little taleggio (sp?) on the side never hurts, either. And, for what it's worth, this takes no longer to cook than it takes to boil the pasta and costs about a buck-and-a-quarter a serving. Delish.

I went back to Central today hoping to have my socks knocked off and -- as much as I like the place -- the socks are still on. Had a tasty cold ratatouille and my friend devoured her lamb shank with polenta, but the pied de couchon was unfortunate. The shreds of pig trotter themselves were more stringy than unctuous, and the pasta square in which they were rolled -- which made the thing look disconcertingly like something from the hot dog grill at a 7-11 -- was just kind of there, in a starch sort of way. Sorbets were wonderful and the kit-kat bar remains winner. I think the restaurant is great, but maybe I should get my glasses changed because I'm just not seeing the #10 in the city ranking by Washingtonian Magazine or the Post's 3 stars.

Would anybody notice? Heck of a picture window, though, with the gold leaf "N" and all. Murphy's Irish Pub, btw, hidden around the corner from New Heights is as fine a place to hoist a pint as you'll find in walking distance. Unless you feel like slumming at the Zoo Bar.

There's always this topic, if you haven't been through it. Of the top of my head, I'd rather gouge my eyes out with an escargot fork than eat at the diner, though others differ in their opinion. No one I know has ever been inside Cafe Napolean in the 25 years I've lived in DC, I'm thinking there's a reason for that. New Heights is the closest good restaurant to your hotel -- the only "good" one in the neighborhood, as far as I know. If you have an affection for gin, you definitely should go there and eat at the bar and order from the only gin list in town (I am reliable told that, while other gins are described on the list in terms of their exotic botanicals and aromatics, the description of Bombay [dry] is simply: "tastes like gin"). If you're eating at the bar you should consider the bar at CityZen, where $50 gets three courses of the same stuff that he swells at the tables are paying a lot more for. Chef Ziebold is a Keller protege and may be the best chef in the city -- and he's always in the kitchen. If you're eating at the bar and don't like gin or post-modern neo-American trans-fusion cuisine, but do like pig's feet (and you should) and other offal stuff, Vidalia is damn swell and probably the sleeper of your list. They have other food, too, and like all the other places I've mentioned, a good selection of wine by the glass. If you want more than a glass of wine, and you're there on Monday, you can pick up a bottle or six of wine at Cleveland Park liquors (or anywhere, I suppose) and bring it to Lavandou for free corkage night. Lavandou is good old French, if you're craving that. Cheers, and report back.

Though, in this case (since no other tables were harmed) I could see reaching an accommodation for a 4-top that comes in every week like clockwork.

It's possible, but I'd love to see some research to back it up. A lot of things that seem like common sense fact end up being false upon closer inspection. ← This reminds me of the government-mandated switch from wooden cutting boards to the plastic kind, on the theory that they were more sanitary. Seems obvious enough in theory, but I don't think there's any evidence that there's any improvement in overall health outcomes in practice.

Last week I actually chatted up Bev about his miracle pork chops. Turns out, on reading the fine print, I may not have been getting the (half) Iberico chops until now -- it might have been their first week at the market. At any rate, it was the first week in a while. Nonetheless, we got a couple the Ibericos and a couple of the field mix or whatever they call the other pork and did a taste test. I thought the famous pork chops tasted moderately better than the prole chops, my wife had the reverse opinion. Suffice it to say, they're good eating either way. And, in case you want something to put on top, my wife mashed together anchovies, capers and roasted garlic with a little chopped grape tomato, oil and vinager -- salty, tart and austere, setting off the rich rich pork oh so well. We made some polenta, too, and it all came together well enough that we're considering giving up the rat race to become Italian peasants. We also got a loin a couple of weeks ago that sliced like velvet and tasted like love, served it the first time with a homemade mole a la Abra and then made the leftovers into Cubanos with my own special mayo and proper deli swiss. Pretty cool. Question for this week is: where does the rest of the pig go, since I never see bellies or trotters at the market? To eat these chops you've kinda gotta be one of those folks who orders lardo at Italian restaurants. If you don't like fat, keep walking down the road 'til you get to Cibola (this is not a compromise, they chop a fine pork themselves). After a few go-rounds, trying to hit that magic moment where the broad band of fat is meltingly warm all the way through but the pork still has pink to it, we've decided that you have to let the chops come to room temperature, brown them in an iron skillet set high enough that the smoke alarm goes off just from the ambient heat even before the smoke starts (brown the ring around the outside, too) and then finish them in a relatively low oven for maybe 5 minutes, maybe 7. Eat right away. Remember, the side on the bottom browns/cooks faster even after you take it off the flame and time accordingly. Oink.

Or, they don't serve booze, and since people tend to want to get in and get out as fast as possible, there's not much of a real estate/entitlement mentality. I personally haven't seen enough abhorrent behavior in either fine dining establishments or MCd's -- though I've seen some at each -- to find one system ore the other superior.

I like to touch what I'm cooking -- I like the feel and I like to get my hands dirty. Also, I feel as though I have better control over whatever I'm chopping when I'm bare-handed. Gloves are for wimps (ask Ted Williams or any oarsman), OCD cases and people subject to hyper-vigilant but ultimately misguided health inspectors. They're one more thing to misplace, lose, pull out of the dispose-all or met onto the stovetop. I hate that sweaty feeling.

Like showering with a raincoat.

I assume you've checked out this topic already. Keeping mind that I'm opinionated, but not necessarily right, here are some thoughts. I've never been as impressed with Zatinya as everyone else -- a solid but not an exceptional performer. Drinking place with good food. In that neighborhood, I'd veer between Cafe Atlantico (a gamble, but when it's on, it's on) and Rasika for Indian food amongst beautiful people. Heck, all those places in Penn Quarter are filled with beautiful people, so it's a good chance to wear your cool-wear. Jaleo is good but not great, but might be the perfect "catching up" spot. On a little grander scale, in another neighborhood, you might try Marcel's and, if you like fish and want a small place with a very comfortable Euro-vibe (cafe-style, not hipster style), Pesce over near Dupont Circle. Of my last two visits to Cashion's, one was brilliant and one was OK, but it's probably worth a gamble. If you are taking a car, don't. Or plan to arrive right at 6:30, when the spots closed for rush hour open up. If you're on Metro, take the red line to Dupont (north exit), walk up to Florida Avenue, refresh yourself with a glass or two at Veritas and then continue on up to Columbia road and Cashion's (or just take the 42 bus). Saturday night, you might consider avoiding the whole Verizon Center area altogether -- all the obvious spots fill up really quick and service can be frazzled. If you're in the mood for burgers and pizza Matchbox is fine, but they don't take rezzies and the lines can get long; get there early. (One of my favorite VC-area event night memories was showing up at the now-defunct steakhouse, Nick and Steph's, before a Dead show: 10 flannel-clad tables in the main dining room and a 100 tie-died deadheads in the formerly elegant bar). But why not hit the much-beloved cafe at Palena about 6, when it opens (check)? The unadventurous can get what many consider The Greatest Burger on Earth, or The Greatest Roast Chicken on Earth, (well below $30, more like $10) while the adventurous can order off the main menu for one of the four or five best restaurants in town. The Red Line is less than 200 feet from their front door and drops right at the Verizon Center. If you have a car, park it downtown at 3, catch the newly-renovated Museum of American Art and take the metro both to the restaurant and back. Yeah...that's the ticket. Or maybe Brasserie Beck, about a 7-block walk from the place? It can get rowdy (but no rowdier than Matchbox, and it's cooler room with better food), but you'll be there early for a Saturday -- think 6:30 reservation. There's a steak frites that can be ordered without the sauce (my daughter's done it) and the rest of the menu is good, hearty stuff for a chill winter night. And, if there are any shellfish or Belgian beer afficianados in the group, it's a no-brainer. There are about a billion bars within walking distance of the VC, from faux-Irish to preppie sports bars to uber-sophisto, all jammed on a Saturday night. Maybe you can do some reconnaissance beforehand. In Crystal City, all I know is the Crystal City Jaleo, which runs until about midnight. You're in luck for fish and chips, Eamonn's is run by a guy who is both an Irishman and one of the area's best chefs. And for breakfast, I hit Trio's regularly, I also go to the loved and hated Bistro du Coin, which is only marginally better but much more French. Both are inexpensive and offer great people-watching -- if you see a tall guy who looks vaguely like Clark Kent sneaking a glass of breakfast wine at either spot, it's me. You might bring a cooler to the market and see if Eco-Friendly has their famous pork chops. Damned expensive, but worth a try. Buy me a drink and I'll tell you how we cook 'em. Have fun! Report back.