Busboy

Fallback position in a strange city with no fine dining in site: spend enough time at the bar that the peanuts are all you need. Go to back to the hotel early, preferrably not with a local. Fly home the next morning at get dinner there, pleased that you actually lost weight on a business trip. Too rational, not enough fun. OK, spend enough time at the bar that the penuts are all you need. Go back to the hotel WITH a local. Go to breakfast at 3AM, have fried eggs and hash browns and try to remember the other person's name in time to get a ride back to the hotel. Fly home the next day, lie to your spouse, brag to your buddies. Not that I'd ever do anything like that....

Fallback position in a strange city with no fine dining in site: spend enough time at the bar that the peanuts are all you need. Go to back to the hotel early, preferrably not with a local. Fly home the next morning at get dinner there, pleased that you actually lost weight on a business trip.

In my time as a waiter, I found that the vast majority of these requests came either from the kind of unsophisticated diners who are unlikely to be disappointed because they didn't get the "right" preparation -- the "steak well done" crowd -- and those who simply didn't like or were allergic to a certain part of the preparation. Usually, they were obviously pleased that they had been accommodated. There are always assholes, but I found that 95% of the time, people asked politely and responded graciously, and I'm sure word of mouth benefitted. Think of it: if you respond to a request, you may get dissed. If you don't, you surely will. When I worked at Le Pavillon (old Washington hands will remember that one) the chef was always accomodating despite the difficulty and expense of his menu, a tiny kitchen and cooking that was, on occasion, pretty dang visionary. Call me a snot, but I can't figure out why a place that serves meatloaf can't be as accomodating as a place that serves foie gras.

I've had good luck just casing the outside of restaurants. Design reveals a lot. Once you eliminate the chains, search out signs, front windows, patio decor etc. that avoid the cute and obvious, and the over- or mass-produced. Laminated menus are a bad sign, as is any kind of "theme". Beware hanging nets, mock-rustic furniture and the words "family dining." Do not romanticize small-town local diners; most of them suck. Check out the cars and people. There's always a danger in stereotyping, but look for the kind of people you'd expect to see in the kind of places you'd want to go, be they yuppies, business folks, ethnic types or hipsters. When in doubt, walk in and pretend you're looking for someone, and check out the food on the table. If you have time and a strong liver, get a drink at the bar and watch the food as it comes out. Ask the locals but be careful...one of the reasons there's an Olive Garden every where you go is that the locals like it.

Changing a play for one person changes it for everyone in the audience. Changing an entree for one person changes it for no one else. No one asks an artist to change a painting once it is painted, but the artist doesn't crank our 50 versions of the exact same painting every night. A chef that let's a plate go out of his or her kitchen that is "substandard" because of a customer request, can regain their vision a second later with the next order. Finally, if six people want to go to dinner, but one person is not an enthusiast of the chef or cuisine at the restaurant, does that mean all six have to go elsewhere, even if the person in question can be satisfied with minor change(s), of the "no garnish, please" variety, that do not interfere with service?

I lived in Denver for two years and they had the nicest darn servers you'd ever want to meet -- and every dinner was amateur hour (except in the formal dining room of the Brown Palace Hotel). They didn't know the food, they could bring the appetizers out on time and I actually had a bartender come out from behind the bar and put his arm around me, to console me when he had to announce that the entree I'd ordered was sold out. Ick. But, you have to admit, New Yorkers are, at least, brusque on a regular basis. I don't want a waiter to tell me about his or her personal life, I don't need to be consoled when my entree is sold out, I don't appreciate a silly ear-to-ear grin from my server like he/she is honored to serve me. I FG -- You would hate Denver. Amazing how irritatating people who want to be your best buddy can be. Actually, we weren't to keen on it either, and moved back East. My wife lost 15 pounds in two years and still maintains that there is no food worth eating in that city. Brusque isn't necessarily a bad thing -- change it to gruff and it's damn near heartwarming -- but I'm not always convinced that the guy giving me the "hurry up, buddy, I got better things to do" attitude is rushing me along out of respect for my busy schedule. Don't get me wrong -- last time I was in New York I was almost late for an appointment because the guy behind the counter at the 2nd Avenue Deli (native, judging by the accent) spent so long explaining the pros and cons of the different subway routes to where I was going, I almost couldn't get to the station on time. And he through in the pickles and mustard for free. And of course, you can't get pastrami like that out here in the sticks.

Epoisses. Gubbeen, from Ireland.

I lived in Denver for two years and they had the nicest darn servers you'd ever want to meet -- and every dinner was amateur hour (except in the formal dining room of the Brown Palace Hotel). They didn't know the food, they could bring the appetizers out on time and I actually had a bartender come out from behind the bar and put his arm around me, to console me when he had to announce that the entree I'd ordered was sold out. Ick. But, you have to admit, New Yorkers are, at least, brusque on a regular basis.

Lavendar?

I wrote an article on this a couple years back and did extensive home research. The first thing you should know is that it's hard to screw this up -- put your flavorings in, taste it in a week and either add more, adjust or dilute as you see fit. The second is that tasting your product to adjust flavoring can be hazardous to the quantity of your final product. The third is to use good vodka. My favorite combination is lemon peel and honey. Make sure you don't get the pith in. I think I used the peel of two lemons and about 2 tsp of honey. The fresh raspberries that may or may not be appearing any day make a great brew, too, with sugar. The stuff turns the most amazing color -- maybe even better than the Jolly Rancher-flavored vodka. Add a little citrus peel or fresh herb to add a little depth. I also liked garlic and dill -- I started out putting it in bloody maries and ended up drinking the stuff straight, iced. I usually find that the tastes pretty good after a week or two sitting at room temperature, but Chef Samuelsson at Aquavit -- who was kind enbough to spenf 30 minutes on the phone with a rookie free-lancer -- says it good aquavit needs six weeks to develop its flavor.

On a quick business trip to Monaco, ducked into a hypermarche -- or maybe a supermarche, I don't know where one ends and the other begins -- for a bottle of wine. Admittedly, Monagasque grocery stores have a pretty high-income clientel to draw from, but I was still surprosed to see cases of classified Boredeaux stacked in the aisles -- as well as the 2 Euro a bottle plonk. More to the FG's point, though, the fish section was amazing: 40 or 50 kinds of fish laid out on ice, impeccably fresh and ready for la feme du maison to cook up and serve with one of those white Graves a couple of aisles over. Even in New York -- not that I've ever lived there but I am drawn compulsively to food markets of all kinds -- I've never seen a store or specialty fishmonger with remotely as many high-quality choices.

Robert -- We will be in Vacqueyras, which is just up the road from Carpentras, so we'll hunt down your cheese shop if we're not already grossly overstocked from the markets, and the confiserie regardless. Thanks for the tips. mogsob -- Am currently locked in debate over a potential Louvre visit. I could easily skip it entirely if it weren't for a special exhibition on Leonardo's drawings that opened this month. Good tips, though, especially dodging the Tower. I find ascending tall structures is a great way to keep the kids happy for half a day, but doing so without long lines is even better. And vis-a-vis the omlettes, my son keeps saying "I'm going to be just like grandpa and eat omlettes every day, because that's the only French I can speak." This better not be true after the unfortunately intense bonding experience we had over a recent French exam, but, but I expect a brasserie and some omlettes will be a great way to get through the jet lag and adjust to the Parisian environment en famille. Since we're going to be within walking distance of three great wine villages in the South -- Vacqueyras, Gigondas and Beaumes du Venise, not to mention a half hour from Chateau Neuf-du-Pape, we'll do a little research on classic wine and cheese parings not covered above. If it's a tough job, but we'll give it our best. Fat Guy -- All good points. especially the "set and setting" as doc Tim Leary used to put it. To your point about comparing, say, Spanish cheeses I would suggest -- as long as we're asking the tough questions -- what about the difference with hard cheeses, like a gruyere? And finally, isn't that Epoisses addictive? We're cleaning out the fridge before we go, and I'm about 2/3 tempted to melt my last chunk on top of the grilled burgers we'll be eating tonight, just to make sure it doesn't go to waste. Of course, I could just keep eating it a spoonfull at a time every time I go into the fridge...

Just what I need, a whole nation of enablers. Fortunately, my mother will be travelling with me much of the trip. Though I am half committed to having pastis and Gauloise for breakfast one morning in Provence. Maybe after prowling le marchee for some artisanal chevre.

I was actually being a little tongue-in-cheek with the calvados comment, though I probably down a glass or two. Also hunting for lamb pre-salle, which I guess is more Brittany than Normandy, though we'll be down at Mt. St. Michel on the border between the two regions. The cider suggestion is a good one, though, and we will keep that under advisement, and we will keep eyes peeled for hand-lettered signs. We'll be in the Vacluse rather than Perigord, but we hope to spend a couple of days wandering aimlessly through the backcountry, another artisanal opportunity as well. Danielle, I know wine/cheese matches been hotly debated in these pages, but I wouldn't worry about being a conisseur. Drink what you like. I once had a bunch of guys at a local store's Saturday tasting tell me that it was "impossible" to drink red wine with an omlette. I thought they were being unbearably pretentious, so I bought a zin and left. Sue me. At my house, by the time the cheese comes around we're likely drinking the dregs from 5 or six different wines, mixing and matching as we go. If someone finds a combination they like, they're not likely to remember in the morning. Sauterne or Barsac with farmhouse cheddar and a fresh peach, though...that's summer.

I am going to Normandy and looking forward to eating the local proct, though my wife says driving to Pont l'Eveque just see the cows is a little ridiculous. What cheese goes with calvados, I wonder? I don;t see how we can possibly eat all the cheese that we'll probably buy. We'll also be heading down south, so I assume that goat cheeses will be in order. Any thoughts?

You mean, spend a day enjoying Paris rather than standing in line for hours with cranky tourists for a brief glimpse of the Mona Lisa, standing in line for hours with cranky tourists to go to the top of Eifel Tower and standing in line with cranky tourists to see Notre Dame? I'll see if that's allowed.

All that makes sense, thanks. After reading your responses I wonder if the aging thing has just become shorthand for a number of issues. At any rate, we are going to France in 2 weeks and my wife circled every cheese shop in Particia Wells' "Food Lovers Guide to Paris" on a map, so we'll be able to find a bite wherever we go in the city, and taste the difference ourselves. Years ago I used to buy St. Jovin (I think) from a shop shop here in DC and bring it to work with a baguette for lunch -- where my rommate complained to my boss about the smell. One day they stopped carrying it, and when I asked why, the owner rolled her eyes and announced that the government wouldn't let her bring it in any more. So, one of my first goals in Paris is to find a square of St. Jovin, and find out that it's even better than I remember.

I've only been once -- got the truffle dinner, unbelieveable -- and my favorite part was hanging out by the prep area (out of the way) and watching Roberto do his think up close. I love watching the way a good chef moves, and he clearly was totally fixated on the dinner. I had to move off because I seemed to be making him nervous, and I wanted him focused on dinner, not asking me how I liked mine so far (how do you say "fabulous" in Italian?). We called about three weeks in advance for a reservation, and they called a week early to tell us they had a table if we wanted it. Our speculation was that they keep a couple of tables free for last-minute VIPS. A tough table, but not impossible, I guess.

Can it be "homemade" or do only pre-packaged hot foods count? Queso made with 1/2 Velveeta and 1/2 hot taco sauce from a jar, microwaved together, with fresh peppers and onions chopped on top. Lots of peppers.

OK, this may be a dumb question but I spent too much of the weekend discussing this with my wife not to ask it. Please bear with me while I set it up. French cheese is better than American cheese (but I'll bet our pasturized, process cheese food beats their's hands down) because it is made with raw milk and is "alive." Our government forbids the importation of unpasteurized cheeses unless they are at least 60 days old. Now, when I drop by the local fromagerie for, say, some Epoisses or Pont l'Eveque -- what I believe are formally know as "stinky" cheeses -- I usually find them less ripe than I prefer, and I let them for a week or so until they get nice and runny. So, since I like cheeses that are old, anyway, will eating French cheeses in France actually be better than eating them here and, if so, why? IS there something besides aging at work here? Not trying to kick up a ruckus or anything, and am certainly willing to take the sueriority fo French cheeses on French soil of faith, but my inner Brillat-Savarin wants to know. PS If anyone hasn't read it, the NYT article on Epoisses -- read while I had a gooey disk of the importable stuff in the fridge -- that got my mind racing, is here: www.nytimes.com/2003/05/28/dining/28STIN.html

I like the aloo tak (potatoes, tamarind and mint yogurt) as an appetizer -- I think I'm a potential tamarind junkie. Also the Murgh Makani (grilled chicken in a tomatoe cream sauce and the tandoori jinhga (spiced prawns). Also, if I'm carrying out, pappadums for the ride home. My wife swears by the mulligatawny and my son demands extra palak makai so he can bring the corn/spinach stew to school for lunch the next day. I have to say, though, it's one of those places where I always try and force myself to try something new, as I am am almost never disappointed. [irrelevant anecdote] I was picking up from Heritage one night and, while refreshing myself with a martini at the bar I notice that you could see the entrance to Good Guys, which locals will recognize as one of DC's most notorious strip clubs, out the window. I made some comment to the bartender and he said with a wink that, when people called for directions, he told them "I know you've never been there, but we're right across the street from Good Guys," and they always knew exactly where he was talking about.

Local DC-ers should know that Heritage delivers, as well. A dammed expensive little phone call it can be, especially compared to Dominos, but deliciously convenient if you don't feel like forcing the kids to put on decent clothes. The food is extraordinary. One caveat -- at one point the floor staff had a deserved reputation for pushiness, running up the tab with extra rice and bread, encouraging appetizers that weren't needed and so on. I've noticed this less, recently, but new diners might want to be prepared to be a little firm if they feel the oversell coming on. Well worth the possibility for a minor hassle, though.

I love Burgundies, but can rarely afford them -- my mom still has the first bottle of legal wine I ever bought, a bottle of Compte George du Vogue Chambolle-Musigny. Of course, I remember nothing about it, but my instincts were there, even at 18 (think mid-70's). Burgundy's complexity and Parker's dislike are actually it's greatest features. Where grand cru Bordeaux routinely sell for over $100 -- and may be unapprochable for a decade -- one can get a Burgundy of similar quality and greater approachability for substantially less, if one avoids DOC and a couple of other cult producers. The flip side is a certain unreliability. I think I heard it said best in The Economist magazine (mentally correct the figures for inflation) "A great bottle of burgundy cost 100 pounds: 20 poinds for the great bottle, and 80 punds for the other four."

And Lavandou is kid-friendly. Bardeo isn't bad on that strip, either.

For Jaleo (7th and E), get off at the Gallery Place/Chinatown metro, it's about a 2 block walk. When dining there, best to check what's going on at the MCI Arena and The Shakespeare theatre, as the place gets very crowded just before events. Timing it for just after curtain at the Shakespeare and whatever happens at MCI usueally ensures a more leisurly experience. Haven't been to d'Oc, but enjoy Obelisque (21st and P) a great deal and it is located within 2 blocks of the Dupont Circle (Red Line) Station. I seem to recall the cost for dinner being aroun $30 for the a 3-course menu, plus wine at whatever level you want to spend. Very conversation friendly, but not too stuffy -- my wife and I went in jeans on the spur of the moment last time -- they's had a cancellation just before we arrived and they fit us in. Very friendly, and the celeb chef (here, anyway) was in the back, cooking away). PS to caluculate cross streets just assign a number value for each letter -- ie addresses in the 200 block start at B street, 300 beging at C street, etc. And don't forget that there is no J street.