Lilija

Kimchee...smells like...what I would imagine an elevator filled with cabbage and flatulence in Hell would smell like. But man, it's so good. Nuoc Mam, that fish sauce, pretty damn bad. Pretty damn tasty, even a little taste off a spoon is nice, salty, complex...if you can get the spoon close enough to your face.

I was going to tell Fresser that I fear he hadn't found the right woman, but the little voice in my head said "Don't be a smartass, Patrick!" And for once, I listened. ← I kinda went there, though a little more delicately... I don't have that voice in my head. Generally, the voices in my head cheer me on.

I got the reference, good album For me, it's a piece of bread, in some form. Tea, or coffee to a lesser degree, iced or hot, every day. Rice is a big one, too. Soup. Not every day, but damn near. Summer, winter, whatever. Canned soup, soup from the deli, quick 2 minute miso soup, heavy home made dinner soups. All cultures, any kind. I could happily (and have) live on soup. Soup, with rice in it, and a side of bread? Perfect. Washed down with some iced tea, and I feel like my day is complete. Even if I eat it for breakfast (and I often do, soup for breakfast is perfect).

My staple old standby is popcorn. Microwave, extra butter, with butter, and sometimes, maybe 1 in 5, some Old Bay seasoning. I eat it late at night, at the computer, after everyone is asleep, with a huge vat of iced tea. Has to have iced tea, and I'll drink half a gallon. If I'm forced to share, or if someone wakes up, and tries to nail my popcorn, I get fidgety, and go make a second, fresh batch, giving them the one I had, just so I don't have to share. That's the one thing, that I sorta sneak. Wasabi peas are another one, I can shamelessly eat a whole canister, when the mood hits. I can eat an entire pound of salami, spread with cream cheese, and rolled up. 1 pound of salami, 8 ounces of cream chese, and me with a butter knife. It's not pretty. Saltines, again, with that mood. I can go through 2 sleeves of saltines, plain, washed down with milk, before I get sick enough to stop. We don't buy kettle chips, Doritos, or Cheetos, because they're not storable. Theyr'e just not the same after they've been around a day or two, no matter how you wrap them (at least this is what I tell myself to justify eating an entire bag over 3 hours). Salt and Vinegar chips, especially. If they come home, they can sit around unopened for days, till it becomes unbearable...then as soon as they hit the air, whoom, they're gone. It almost defies physics. Oh, and while we're confessing...here we go...ok, sometimes, like maybe twice a year, I get this unbearable craving for Taco Bell. I *hate* Taco Bell, most times, the commercials sorta gross me out, the idea of eating there is nasty...but very occasionally, I get this taste for one of their bean burritos. I'll go earlyish in the day, get like...three and maybe a basic taco, and a huge Mountain Dew (which I pretty much only drink with Taco Bell). I eat this guilty picnic in my car, and throw away the evidence, before I get home. Then, I'm overfull, and slightly ill for the rest of the day. I've mentioned this craving to my husband, years ago, long after we stopped eating fast food, in general, and he gives me the 'ew' look. Like, "ew, of all places, there?" So, now I just hide about it, rather than deal with the derision. It's totally a mood thing, because I can ignore any of these things, at any time. But like people have mentioned, when it hits me, I think about it, plan for it, obsess over it...

Better than? As good as, something akin to, something to be eaten before, or after...or even during...but better than? I dunno... I mean, it's not even red meat.

Mmm, Snork boulliabaise... I would imagine that dragons would be smoky, and tough. Maybe gamey, and painty tasting like wild duck. I concur with those that say they would be slightly metallic tasting. You can't eat all that hammered iron and steel, (in the form of armor) without it affecting your general flavor. Pterodactyls, I would imagine, tastes like dried, over-roasted turkey, like the bony wing portion of the family's prized (albiet dry) Thankgiving bird. Tough, bony, stringy, vaguely reminiscent of poultry.

What no recipes for angel's wings? Surely they'd take nicely to a teryaki or miso glaze... They *must* have wings...and I bet they're tender as hell. Edit: I could populate an entire thread, myself, on the stuff my chars have eaten in D&D, and various other Role Playing Games. I'm *that* nerdy.

I know I'm new-ish here, but I love Fresser stories. Your stories rock.

That is the single most retarded thing I have ever heard. ← Agreed. I think not allowing home made stuff is a shade overboard. I mean...does the government need to regulate EVERY little aspect of your life? If little Timmy can't eat peanuts, he should know to ask first (yes, even in pre-school, kids are capable of this...) or, Mom should alert the teacher ahead of time, for her to do the asking. My son's class is filled with kids of all kinds, some can't eat chocolate, strawberries, nuts. One girl is Muslim and has her own set of dietary needs. They know their restrictions, and plan accordingly. They inquire polietly, or just turn down the offered treat, in favor of something brought from home. As a 'class parent' I make sure I know ahead of time, kids' dietary restrictions, and other little things. It doesn't take much to make nut and chocolate free snickerdoodles, instead of chocolate chip cookies, or something. In the case of suspect cooking conditions, the teacher can figure out early in the year who's mommy should be asked to bring napkins or juice boxes rather than cookies. It doesn't take much. Like with censorship, this is just another thing being taken out of the individual's hands, and decisions being made for us, and I think it just plain sucks. Is this the end of firehouse barbecues? Elks club spaghetti dinners? Church potlucks? I mean, unless they're all professionally catered, of course.

I used to have a leather jacket, a standard biker jacket, that was perfect for movie trips. The inside pocket's lining was ripped, giving me access to the whole coat. My entire coat became a container. During this time, I also worked at a convenience store/deli. We'd go to the movies, often, as a huge group. If I wasn't working, prior, we would always make a special stop at the store. I would aquire bags of candy, the 1lb size, and line my coat with them. 20 oz bottles of soda fit neatly down one sleeve, only crowding my arm a little. Subs, I could get 6 inch subs into the pocket, and settled around the hem, nicely. Sure the wrapper was a little beat up...but there's something deliciously evil about eating a giant Italian sub, during a movie. I miss my coat of holding. It doesnt fit anymore, sadly. Too many pounds of candy, and Italian subs, probably. Now, I just sneak in candy and bottles of water. We buy popcorn, because I'm pretty addicted to theater popcorn, yellow non-butter goop, and all.

I would die a thousand deaths if my Costco stopped stocking Italian sausage. Actually, in this area, I think it's required by law. This thread is fascinating, to see all the regional differences for stuff. I'm jealous. Our NJ Costcos seem fairly generic, compared to lobster rolls, and bulgogi.

This is an adorable story, and it made me smile, and think about my little one at that age, with all his awesome terminology...but the "chik'n tit and a TAYUB" story, that previously occupied this spot had me laughing out loud, for sure.

I gotta try that "run this through the pizza oven" trick...that's genius right there.

I love the samples, but my Costco (the Holmdel one) is a MADHOUSE during prime daytime. I avoid the zoo if I can and go in the evenings, when there's no more samples. I love the prepped foods in the back, they used to have an Asian chicken salad that was incredible. Grilled teryaki chicken, shredded cabbage, cashews, chow mein noodles, mandarin oranges, and a gingery soy dressing. They don't have that anymore either, and it makes me heartsick. I used to buy one of those, take it to the park with a book, and nibble on it all afternoon, while I read. The rotisserie chickens are the best I've ever had, too.

I listed the stuff at mine, because I know Jason is a fellow Jersey resident Chances are, if they're not exactly the same, the stuff he has at his Costco is similar. And, the hot dogs rule.

The chicken bakes are tasty, but they're too rich for me to finish a whole one. They are good, though, nice balance of flavors, big bites of chicken, lots of bacon throughout, creamy, cheesy... I'm talking myself into one... The pizza is decent. It doesn't stack up to good Jersey pizza, but for a quick meal, it's good. Not cheap cheese, the crust is thick-ish, but not rubbery, it's generally well browned, and the pepperoni it self is really good. The Italian sausage is EXCELLENT. As good as any you'd find in the greatest of street vendors. I actually crave them. Perfectly broiled, crisp brown skin, carmelized sweet onions and peppers (and they give you a heap of red peppers, with onions, not the cheapy 2 pepper slivers to a buncha onions), and a great, soft steamed roll. The chicken caeser salad is good too, lots of food for the price, great dressing. I get one, and can eat it for three days. I dearly miss the mocha shakes, knishes, and churros. The pretzels are eh, sorta cardboardy. Edit: Oh Oh oh oOH, and the ice cream bars, that they dip right there...are to DIE for. The nuts one...ohhh man. If you're wondering, I have friends that work there, so I visit them on breaks, hang out, and snack...

Mmm, my Babcia (little old Polish grandmother, requisite babushka) used to bring me these, from time to time. Our Polish butcher, Joe, would get them on certain days, and she would buy a bunch when they were fresh. My favorite were the prune, too, because you can't find anything similar anywhere else. They were so good...it was like eating deep fried sugarcoated prune stuffed whipped fat. Ohhh yes. I didn't know they had an actual Day, though. There's a holiday I can endorse.

The more I think about it, more pop into my head. My husband and I, after watching The Birdcage one too many times, now always refer to shrimp as "CHRIMPS!" exclamation point, always. Same thing with butter. We stayed at these people's houses, and the husband was a little crazy. The wife asked him to put the butter on the table, and on his way into the kitchen, he was yelling "BUTTER!" all shrill, in this falsetto. We were beside ourselves. Now, every time someone says butter, it's a reflex to yell "BUTTER!" in a falsetto. Not erroneous, just goofy. We call milk "Moo" and chicken breasts "Chicky boobs". My stepmom pronounces worcestershire sauce "wOOster sauce" she really emphasizes that OO, to the point that her eyes bug out, every time. It's hysterical. I don't think she knows it.

I knew someone who pronounced vinegar as "vig-nar" and cinnamon as "cimmanim". She also botched spaghetti, to the classic "pasketti" which makes me nuts. When I was little, it was Booger King and Windys. When I got a little older, it was Taco Hell, and Funkin Gonuts. I had a friend that pronounce sandwich as "sangweech" I use 'sammich' quite frequently. Finally, I got into the habit, due to an old Far Side comic, of calling food "fud". Anyone seen that cartoon? Has a dog hiding behind a dryer door, with signs pointing into the dryer, saying "Cat Fud" with a cat walking down some steps.

I'm sorry, I'll never speak ill of warewolves again! But, I agree. Some thing's I've read, here, just made me scratch my head, and wonder about people.

Oh, Badiane, I bet you and I could swap stories all night. Unfortunately, none of mine are food related, but I can totally commiserate with your freak-magneticness. I once dated a guy that thought he was a warewolf. For real. I read your stories, and I smiled. I *totally* commiserate. My friends all told me I should write a book, and title it "I Thought He Was A Nice Guy". Till I met my (awesome, kind, perfect, STABLE) husband, those same friends thought that would be etched into my tombstone, too.

1. Do you eat brown rice or regular rice, or do you have no rice? The place we order from the most often doesn't offer brown, so I get white. Never fried rice, though that's what my son and husband order. If the place offers brown rice, I get that, though. One reason is, because my favorite leftover breakfast is fried leftover rice. I chop the leftover veggies/meats and fry the rice, with it, and some seasonings, maybe some leftover soup broth, and butter, for breakfast. 2. Do you put the rice into a bowl or plate and then top it with your entree? Or do you alternate bites of rice and dish? I alternate bites. I'll pick up a bit of rice with my chopsticks, and lay it on a piece of vegetable, then collect the whole works, and eat it that way. Sometimes, I just like the rice plain, or with a little soy sauce (one of my all time favorite comfort foods, rice and soy sauce), sometimes I like eating the entree alone. I keep 'em seperate. Though, I do like when the sauce seeps under the rice, that's a third whole flavor, there. 3. Are you a chopstick user or a fork and spoon user? Chopsticks mostly, spoon, for when the rice gets too saucy to pick up. 4. Do you eat everything, all the vegetables but not the ________, or only meat? I deliberately order things without mushrooms, or ask to have them left out. If there's a ton of onions in the dish, I'll pick at a few, but leave most of them behind. Otherwise, I'll eat everything. 5. Are you one of these people who think that fried chicken wings covered in hot sauce on top of pork fried rice constitutes proper Chinese takeout? No. That has it's place, but not when I crave Chinese. 6. When ordering takeout, do you always get the same thing or do you try out different things? I have a good amount of classics that I stick to. I like mei fun, cashew ____, spare ribs, boneless ribs, sauteed string beans with ground pork, and a few others. I hate egg rolls. I always get the same appetizers, of fried wontons, and a quart of wonton soup. New places prompt me to try new things, or sometimes I just feel like having something different. 7. What's your favorite place and your least favorite place, and could you please describe them? My favorite place is this joint called Great Wall, because they deliver in like...15 minutes, and the food is always scorching hot. It's like they have woks in their hatchbacks. The food is marginally good, and they don't screw up orders. They're good, not outstanding. Unfortunately, good Asian takeout is scarce around here. There are a LOT of nasty places, I don't have a worst-of, I guess. But we've tried and rejected dozens. 8. Do you have a best takeout experience? Let's hear it. None that are outstanding. The place we order from has good, reliable food. That's about as good as it gets in the takeout dept. 9. Do you have a worst takeout experience? Let's hear that as well. Yeah, this is an easy one. Our last place was a Maylaysian/Chinese place, that delivered. You could order off either menu. Decent food, lots of interesting flavors. I'd often get roti canai, or this bizarre (but tasty) Maylay version of Pad Thai. Once, I went off the beaten track, and ordered something called "Spicy Beef Curry Stew" Mmm, sounds good right? It sure smelled good. The sauce was flavorful, a rich brown curry... 2 or three carrots, a few onions, some other veggies. Till I saw this rubbery square looking thing. I pulled it out with my chopstick. It flopped. I licked it. It had a cartlidgey texture. I set it aside. I looked for the beef. I found another rubbery square, this time with a shred of beef stuck to it. Weird... Some of the squares were rolled into tight spirals. Some of them had weird connective tissue, and webbing stuck to them. The WHOLE meal, not one modicum of actual beef, but lots of this weird shit. My very daring husband took a bite. He gagged, spit it out, and said it tasted like wet rawhide. He gave one to the dog, who minutes later, barfed it under my computer chair. We called the place, and asked "wtf?" in more words. They confirmed, that yes, it was skin. We said "$15.95 for a quart of beef SKIN?!" The woman on the phone assured us that this was the normal dish. I'm sure SURE to this day, we were the butt of some grotesque practical joke, and I'm convinced that she put the phone down, and ran into the kitchen, cackling with delight.

My favorite treatment for spinach, which we eat quite frequently (2 times a week, at least) Is the simpest one. Wilted, with lots of sauteed garlic, olive oil, salt, and red pepper flakes. Sometimes I'll throw in random cheeses, whatever's laying around, feta, chevre, parmesan, even cheddar or swiss. Just sorta sprinkled around, not melted into the dish. I could eat spinach every night, like this. I also like making soup, with kale, cream soups, potato/sausage soups, stuff like that. We chop and add spinach to most stuffings, poultry stuffings, pork loin stuffings. My favorite stuffing is chopped spinach, a little cream, some feta, red pepper flakes, and toasted breadcrumbs. This tastes good rolled inside fish filets (like tilapia) or in pork loin chop pockets. Also good inside manicotti, stuffed shells, lasagna, just mixed in with the ricotta filling, sometimes with crumbled sausage. Ricotta, spinach, and sausage, that flavor combo is definitely more than a sum of its parts. My favorite seasonings for it are red pepper flakes, hot sauce, nutmeg, garlic, stuff like that.

Some ghetto food that I still crave, leftover from child and young adulthood: White rice or egg noodles and brown gravy made from powder. White rice, canned tuna microwaved, with hot sauce. Spam fried rice: Spam, frozen peas, leftover rice, liberal hot sauce and soy. Red beans and rice: Dented can of kidney beans (or any dented bean, dented=cheap) dumped into a pan, mashed, dosed with garlic and onion powders, hot sauce, and cooked till hot and gloopy, served over rice. "Hamburger Mush": Browned hamburger, drained, can of cream soup, can of string beans, mixed veg, or corn, heated through. Sometimes cheese on top. Hot sauce, black pepper. Served over...you guessed it! Rice! Or, Tater Tots, if we were feeling flush. Egg noodles are also great. Sub in can of tuna or can of chicken for a lighter feast. Frozen burritos, with velveeta and salsa covering. An upscale stoner version of this that I came to love, in my late teens involved a huge 7-11 burrito covered in 7-11 free nacho cheese, and hot dog "chili". Damn, that was some fine fine eating. Ramen. Ramen made the way the bag says and sipped like consumme, slurping out noodles. No fork ever touches this version. Ramen cooked in water, water discarded, hot sauce and sesame oil mixed in (sesame oil is a later addition, used to be margerine). Can of tuna, if it's for dinner. Tuna, pickle relish, mayo, served on saltines. Bologna, same way. Campbell's tomato, browned hamburger, elbows. Kraft mac & cheese, with Campbell's tomato stirred in. Hamburger sometimes. I got a million of 'em. I lived on crap food, for more than half my life. This is the stuff I still get the taste for once in awhile. I actually still make the beans and rice, ramen, or sometimes the hamburger mush, when I'm feeling starchy.

Wow, no one mentioned nachos? Incredible to start, ghastly, if left to sit for any amount of time. Grilled chicken salads, or the like, where the chicken is hot, greens are cold. You can never get them just so. Could be just because I hate cold chicken. Mee Krob, deep fried noodles, with various bits, covered with a sweet sticky sauce. I've never seen a noodle fully dissolve before, but there it was, when I reheated it, it was a VERY thick sauce, various bits, and...not a noodle to be seen. Pad Thai doesn't do it, either, or any thing made with rice sticks. Those have zero holding power. Guacamole. Egg rolls. See, pizza only gets better with age, for me. I *love* pizza reheated to a crisp bubbly melty brown, in the toaster oven. French fries, and battered fried leftovers also do well with a run through the toaster oven. I love my toaster oven.