Dignan

I've only dined with CEOs a handful of times, and I don't recall anything in particular about their behavior. But I've been with lots of Cs of something, and Directors of something, and they certainly have been a mixed bag. This seems to me like one of those polls where they all say that Kipling's "If" is their favorite poem.... Edited to add: That I wholly hope it is accurate, and that folks take a lesson from it. I don't mean to detract from the message at all. Should be required reading in every MBA program in the country!

I'll leave aside the University situation, because that has more to do with legacy and prior relationships. No, I guess I won't leave it aside because it dove tails in to the envelopes at Xmas idea if I understand what you mean by that -- for the mailperson, the doorperson, etc? Correct me if I'm wrong. But those are different. I wouldn't call those bribes, and I think we can show why they are not, though I may not be able to adequately distinguish them for your purposes. They are part of an ongoing relationship between the parties. If I decide to give a Xmas tip to the doorpeople of my building, I don't really gain anything but goodwill. If I don't, and the doorperson doesn't do their otherwise assigned duties when it comes to me, then they should be fired. What do I gain except for a better, more positive relationship, which was already defined before I did it? I don't get preferred door opening, do I? How does that compare to the $20 for first seating to a M D' you never met before? I am a member of a private club. Tips at this club are mandated (lotsa old folks). I often tip beyond that amount for servers who make me apppreciate the fact that they know that they are already being tipped. I tip to the employee Xmas bonus fund every year. I don't have to, and I assume they don't know whether I do or not. I also give cash payments at the holidays to those I particularly get along with, and that usually is either a palmed bill or a greeting card with a bill in it. I'm not saying we can't give people money in appreciation for their services. But in these cases, I think I can say without being hippocritical, it'a a thank you for what has been done, not a payment to ensure that it continues. I appreciate your extra effort, is what I'm saying. Universities rely on legacies, and I won't pretend that they don't. But if an admissions officers is personally accepting graft to admit students in the stead of otherwise qualified students, they should be fired. I'd be very surprised if you disagreed with that position. There may be examples of elitism all over the place, but I don't see that excusing a 20 something hostess in Houston palming $20 in order to seat somebody in front of people who have been waiting for 45 minutes. Which is where we began.

Bribe. "bribe (n.) Look up bribe at Dictionary.com 1386, "thing stolen," from O.Fr. "morsel of bread given to beggars," from briber "to beg," a general Romantic word, of uncertain origin. Shift of meaning to "gift given to influence corruptly" is first attested 1535."

A tip, whatever you think its etymological provenance, is a sort of contingent reward for providing a service. The amount of the reward is contingent on how well the service is provided. Therefore we must wait until after the service is provided to give a proper tip. An amount given before any extant service should be called something else.

It probably doesn't mean that: Snopes Ask/Wikipedia Alpha Agora discussion Straight Dope The last includes the "i/ensure prompt service" as one idea; but it appears to have been written in 1976, and says that an NYC tip is appropriately 20%, which I thought was interesting on its own...

I spent some googletime trying to nail this down. It's a difficult search because most of what comes up are sights dedicated to anti-slaughter, and they tend to stress the notion that Americans don't eat horsemeat, rather than they can't. For example, the Humane Society says this:"Horse meat is not eaten in the United States; it is exported to serve specialty markets overseas. The largest markets are France, Belgium, Holland, Japan, and Italy. The only three horse slaughter plants in the United States are foreign-owned." Not that we can't, we just don't. I would expect a statement like "All 50 states ban the human consumption of horsemeat" or "the sale of horsemeat for human consumption" to be prominent if that were the case, so the absence of such a statement seems telling to me. I did find a reference to an Arizona statute requiring a obvious sign in any establishment serving horsemeat or words to that effect, which presumes horsemeat for human consumption is legal in AZ. I could not, however, find a reference to statute numbers or the timing of the law. I'm not inclined to do a state by state statutory search. I did find a reference to a CA (no surprise) penal statute making it illegal to sell horse meat for human consumption. This is a misdemeanor crime; first offense, up to a $1000 fine, and 30 days to 2 years in prison. This article by Zachary Coile in the SF Chron includes the following: "Although it is legal to consume horse meat in the United States, Americans generally are repulsed by the idea of eating an animal associated through movies and TV shows with Black Beauty, Trigger and Mr. Ed. Supporters of a ban on horse slaughter say horses should be treated as companion animals like dogs and cats rather than as cows or chickens. "The very fact that not one restaurant in the United States places horse on the menu nor does one commercial supermarket sell horse meat -- that is not an oversight," said Cathleen Doyle, who led the successful Save the Horses ballot initiative in California. "It's an indication of the food chain hierarchy and where the American culture places our pets and companion animals." Aha: NPR says:"Just seven states -- Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Minnesota, New Jersey, Ohio and Virginia -- allow the meat's sale domestically." But I can't figure out how to get my hands on any. My position: I do not oppose horse slaughter if done "humanely." I don't have an issue with the bolt guns used to slaughter cows and horses. I would try horse if given the opportunity.

Because the reason it is "free" is that he/she stole the ingrediants, and the glass, and the barback, from their employer. Therefore it's only free to me, except that I tipped on it. It's not free for the guy that paid for it all in the first place. Who's gettin' ahead? Me and the bartender.

You beat me to it. I am not sure if the W&D article had anything to do with the restaurant not charging him the extra 20% though. They just did the decent thing right off the bat and never charged it. If they did he would've seen a credit of 20% on his bill. I also have to agree with the whine about Lupe's Tortillas this week. I just do not get it. Their fajitas ARE very good, but nothing you canot find at many Houston restaurants like Pappasito's or Guadalajara or Gringo's. So why are patrons of LT so willing to endure long waits and less than expemplary service (which LT is proud of) to eat their grilled meats? The location on Hwy6 and 59 just opened a couple of weeks ago and you cannot set foot in the joint without an extended wait! Is it just me? ← No, I agree, the restaurant never charged him 20% like he thought they did. He is mea culpaing and taking back his complaint as moot. The people I know who most favor LT are couples with kids. The kids use the play area and the parents have margaritas. It's one of the reasons I avoid it.

In a sense, but I think that's my point. Isn't it really their job to grant, gratis, a seat at their discretion, which they are then subverting to their own benefit? I think that's how I see it, but others don't. I'm not in the industry. Do restaurant owners and managers want to chime in? Is it acceptable, encouraged, winked at, discouraged? What is Policy with a captial P? Are the owners of restaurant reviewed in the article linked in the OP going to be happy, mad, or indifferent? How 'bout the club and restaurant managers in Vegas, if they read these stories? Can I call the French Laundry today and offer a gratuity for a table saturday night? Should they accept it?

I think that is where my boyfriend learned it -- he was a captain at swank New Orleans restaurant a dozen years ago. His own palm would be pressed and getting the other waiters and kitchen to provide a special evening would be his job, thereby assuring happy customers who would return. I don't see the problem with that. Just like valet parking -- many people tip the valet ahead of time to assure their car is parked well and safely. We tip our hairdressers to assure a good cut. There are tip jars on the counters of Starbucks! What's the gripe here? ← I tip the valet after I get my car back safe and sound. I have had my tips and regularity combine for preferential treatment that I did not ask for, usually in the form of by-the-door-parking, and I've gratefully accepted. That's a result of being an appreciated customer. And this happens inside the restaurants and bars too. I admit, I have less of a problem in the M d' situation of a regular customer being given special treatment because of what in essence is an ongoing relationship that rewards both the restaurant and the diner. I think that is a different situation. In those cases, folks often end up on a friendly basis with one another and that can have its own rewards, which IMO is different than outright graft. I can see someone wanting an expensive car taken care of, and don't see how that negatively impacts others if it happens. But I've never pulled to the front of a line of cars waiting to valet park with a $20 in my hand expecting to get parked first while everyone else moves back one position in the pecking order. I would consider that an offense to others, and it would anger me if someone did that to me. Likewise with starbucks. We don't push to the front of the line at the counter and palm the help as we order a latte. At least, I've not seen that. I see folks wait their turn, and sometimes place some money in the jar after the order. These are not, as I opined in the OP, things one does in polite society. And who tips a hairdresser up front? For what? To make sure you don't get the "table by the kitchen" haircut special? I don't really see your examples as parallels.

I think here you've put a finger on one reason the whole idea bothers me. It isn't the hostess or M D's item to sell, so why should they benefit? Shall we extend the practice to busboys to insure clean silverware and refilled waterglasses? No, because it's something we feel we are entitled to when we decided to patronize the restaurant, and busboys have no power anyway. But when it comes to the part when I actually come through the door and ask for a seat, I've got to grease this one person to get there? It's the restaurants seat to give, not the Hostess' or M D's to sell or deny. ← If a bartender gives you "one on the house" do you tip on it? ← I partially addressed this briefly up thread, and yes, I do. My first tip to a bartender who is not already a familiar is overly generous to help make me memorable. If a bartender "buys me one," which is the euphemism in these parts, they receive the same tip I would have made if I had been charged. And I realize that goes to the point about whether it's theirs to sell and admitted in my earlier post that, though I never thought of it as such, my intention is to influence their behavior and thus it is a parrallel to which I do subscribe. I've asked bartenders about comping drinks and been told various things about having a certain allowance for it, and spillage, and whatnot. In other words, the implication was that it was an accepted, planned for practice and occurred as part of the course of running a bar. Is this a point that can be made with regard to the Hostess/M D'? (And I admit my point is only anecdotal and therefor would need more support from someone in the industry -- Katie?) And I would have, in the normal course of events, tipped these bartenders anyway, after they gave me what I asked for. But your point is taken.

I think here you've put a finger on one reason the whole idea bothers me. It isn't the hostess or M D's item to sell, so why should they benefit? Shall we extend the practice to busboys to insure clean silverware and refilled waterglasses? No, because it's something we feel we are entitled to when we decided to patronize the restaurant, and busboys have no power anyway. But when it comes to the part when I actually come through the door and ask for a seat, I've got to grease this one person to get there? It's the restaurants seat to give, not the Hostess' or M D's to sell or deny.

A follow up this week to the W&D of a couple of weeks ago complaining about getting hit for a double tip. The diner has reviewed his credit card statement and it turns out the restaurant only ran through a 20% tip, so somebody at the Bistro Le Cep had his back.

The paper hit the streets today, so time will tell I guess. . . .

I guess when I "overtip" my bartenders, I am more or less bribing them for good service and drinks, so you got me there. I never really thought of it as such. Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: "It's not tipping I believe in. It's overtipping." My Blue Heaven

Robb Walsh writes in this week's Houston Press about an experience in a local restaurant. During a considerable wait for a table, he and other time biders watched as a new arrival was seated after a short wait. It occurred to Robb that the hostess had had her palm greased. On a subsequent visit, he gave her an Andy Jackson and was quickly seated. I've never done this -- never even considered it. I thought of it as a something that happens in movies, like jumping your car over the washed out bridge, not something one does in real life and polite society. Anyone else done it? Do it frequently? On the other side of the equation, does the industry see it occur frequently?

Boy, some chicken wings would really hit the spot. You sure you're closed, Chef?

Chef, I'd have been there already, but I'm not actually directly in the area at this point. When I'm back, you'll be one of my first stops.

Absotutely....He put his Herbie Hancock on the bottom line.

It's his fault for not checking the tab before he paid, but rather waiting until the next day to review it. I do think that the gratuity when automatic should be clearly indicated -- I've gotten tabs before with the autograt circled and with it marked with highlighter. He probably feels like he got took by the waiter, thinking that there's no way the waiter could honestly expect a tip of 40%, that it was clear that the additional 20% was an error, and that the waiter didn't pipe up to make sure and therefore took advantage of his erroneous assumptions. I can understand that. Maybe the waiter busted his (or her, of course, as the case may be) hump for some difficult customers and thought 40% was generous but not inappropriate. I don't know. But by taking the matter into the realm of game theory, the waiter has managed to p-off a customer who otherwise had a postive opinion of the establishment and at least indicates that he had been there more than once. Did he then trade 20% of this particular bill for 20% of every lost bill thereafter? I'm over analyzing and overstating my position. I would be more annoyed with myself in this circumstance than anything else.

This weeks W&D has a rave for Chef Rucker and the Laidback Manor. Good on ya, Chef.

Randy, could you define "proper" for us? Not a challenge, just curious as to what you mean. What's better about the out-of-town fish, and what's wrong with the locals? ← All I meant was the freshest possible. Local guys have good product but they sit on stuff for 1 or two days and that is an eternity when dealing with seafood. I trust a busy company like steve connolly or pacific seafood for most of our seafood needs. Nothing wrong w/ local! If price wasn't an issue I would shop at Whole Foods or Central Market - they always have nice stuff, but I know better than to pay $8.50/lb for salmon. Just my .02 ← Gotcha, Thanks!

Randy, could you define "proper" for us? Not a challenge, just curious as to what you mean. What's better about the out-of-town fish, and what's wrong with the locals?

We'd always have chocolate chip custard pie and/or hershey bar pie....

Another vote for Kahn's. I can never finish a whole one, which is fine by me cause I'll finish it later.